Things I've learned from my boys

[SF18C]

I got this from a friend with 4 boys at home, ages 10, 7, 5, & 3 - plus he has a girl that is 9!

Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding)":

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke -- lots of it.

9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) The spin cycle on the washing machine will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

25.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical.
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control

[Sdiver]

Originally Posted by SF18C

24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Gonna go give it a shot now.......BRB.

[groundup]

Originally Posted by Sdiver

Gonna go give it a shot now.......BRB.

LMAO I was thinking the same thing.

[TFM]

Very interesting kids Some of fhe stuff mine pull is just so insane you have to laugh... Atleast after making the pay as best you can.

[Warrior-Mentor]

Thanks...got a boy on the way...now I know what to expect!

[jbour13]

Originally Posted by Warrior-Mentor

Thanks...got a boy on the way...now I know what to expect!

No Sir......I think you have ideas that would get you incarcerated, but only get him scolded!

[Monsoon65]

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.


OK, everyone be honest. Who's tried this? I know that I can raise my hand to this, and my brother's, who obviously didn't learn anything from watching me.

Originally Posted by Monsoon65

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.


OK, everyone be honest. Who's tried this? I know that I can raise my hand to this, and my brother's, who obviously didn't learn anything from watching me.

Who needs a parachute? I must have watched too much Zorro and Superman, I jumped off the garage roof empty handed.

M

[jon448]

I used to jump off our 3rd story deck all the time when there was snow on the ground and jumping off some bridges into the local river was always fun too.

[TFM]

Originally Posted by Monsoon65

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.


OK, everyone be honest. Who's tried this? I know that I can raise my hand to this, and my brother's, who obviously didn't learn anything from watching me.

I've tried it with sheets, and differnt articles of clothing. I also tried for hours to stand up with my back parallel to the ground with my knees bent at a 90 degree angle. Too many kung fu movies.

[zeroalpha]

Originally Posted by Sdiver

Gonna go give it a shot now.......BRB.

WELL ???

What happened!!!

[504PIR]

Hummm. GF left hairspray at the house......haven't cleaned up the guest room in some time, bet there are some dust bunnies in there.

On a sidenote, while reading this I did bust a gut. Thanks for sharing SF18C!