View Full Version : The Shortest (and Best) Fairy Tale Ever Written!!!
Team Sergeant
09-07-2005, 13:14
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer whenever he wanted.
THE END
I knew there was something missing in my childhood,.....found it!!!!
Guess dad was afraid to tell that story for fear of further emasculation from Household 6.
Just kidding, mom likes fragmenting prairie dogs with her .22-250. :lifter
Thanks TS
Roguish Lawyer
09-07-2005, 13:39
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer whenever he wanted.
THE END
LMAO
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer whenever he wanted.
THE END
I would like to purchase a copy of the illustrated edition.....
NousDefionsDoc
09-07-2005, 14:22
LOL
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer whenever he wanted.
THE END
Did you get it here (http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0553099809/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-5256346-4160646#reader-link)?
:p
Jack Moroney (RIP)
09-07-2005, 15:23
Fairy Tale Hell-you are talking about my uncle. You justed needed to delete the part about fishing, add wine to the list, a Porche, skiing, and traveling Europe for six months out of every year.
Roycroft201
09-07-2005, 16:11
LOL ! I know I should be indignant or something, but that is a good one TS ! LOL !
LOL! Probably can add "drove the vehicle of his choice" to that list.
sharkmanII
09-07-2005, 16:21
LMAO TS. And they say fairy tales are just that...tales. I'm for believing this particular one, and when household six is not around, it shall bear repeating to my sons and grandsons. :p
Bravo1-3
09-07-2005, 18:12
If only I'd heard this fairy tale earlier.
I don't think it's funny.
Is she still looking over my shoulder?
magician
09-07-2005, 19:07
Took me years to learn this very lesson.
:)
72_Wilderness
09-18-2005, 20:53
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer whenever he wanted.
THE END
Just heard the joke on Jeff Foxwothy’s countdown. I have been noticing a few similarities between redneck engineering and SF engineering. (Although I will not say that Redneck engineers and SF engineers are the same because I am not an SF engineer and to say they are without every being an SF engineer would be a very stupid thing to do. As far as being a Redneck engineer, well…… :D ) And now the humor is showing some similarities. I may be on to something or nothing at all. ;) Yall have a great and unique since of humor. :cool:
72W
You know, there is a female version of this story, too:
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!"
And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping all she wanted, never picked up grungy inside-out socks or boxers off the floor again and had the remote whenever she wanted. And her happiness was never in durations of less than 30 minutes, or with her in black latex.
THE END
The Reaper
09-18-2005, 22:42
You know, there is a female version of this story, too:
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!"
And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping all she wanted, never picked up grungy inside-out socks or boxers off the floor again and had the remote whenever she wanted. And her happiness was never in durations of less than 30 minutes, or in latex.
THE END
Until the power went out, or she was scared, or moved, or she needed something fixed.
The End.
TR
Until the power went out, or she was scared, or moved, or she needed something fixed.
Mr Reaper,
I have changed more blown circuits and washers than my OH, I've moved something like 11 times in the last 15 years and I have discovered a wonderful thing called "moving companies", anything I can't fix myself I can hire someone to fix, and as for being scared - hmm, I'll let you know when it happens.... ;)
CPTAUSRET
09-19-2005, 08:47
That's funny!
Should go under "Lessons Learned"!
Terry
Maisey, I guess the battle of sexes will continue forever. I think this story sort of explains it;
"This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a parka and a leather jacket at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting the house. Then he asks her why she has a parka over her leather
jacket.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said..........
"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS!!!"
<-- very worried about women who carry little knives..
Hmm, OK, I wasn't gunna post this, but since you pulled out the blonde jokes... :D
Here's a couple for the ladies.
LAWS FOR WOMEN TO LIVE BY
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something - suggest they are too old for it.
10. Love is blind - but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man - look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal
I just have to add this, I seriously thought about the whole scared thing for a while, and couldn't actually come up with an instance where I really was frightened, so I asked my OH what scared him.
He replied "Only you, Baby!" (Note the use of the endearment to soften me up!)
I thought that was so sweet! :D
Michelle
09-19-2005, 19:05
You know, there is a female version of this story, too:
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!"
And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping all she wanted, never picked up grungy inside-out socks or boxers off the floor again and had the remote whenever she wanted. And her happiness was never in durations of less than 30 minutes, or in her in black latex.
THE END
::::applause::::
m1's Addendum: And the girl lived happily ever after, never having to "cheat" (yourself by dumbing it down) on the range or in scrabble, to make someone else look better, or put up with that idiotic "whats for dinner" question after working a 14 hour day. Happiness comes in durations of weeks, and latex? Oh good lord Pandora.... latex? I thought black patent leather pants were torturous. Cute. But torturous. I would deal with latex only if I were a surgeon. And I'm not. So I don't.
Maisy.... nice list.
The funny thing here is the XYs think they are the only ones that are lucky if the marriage answer is "no". I suppose there is nothing wrong with letting them think that. Nothing wrong at all. :::snicker:::
m1
Bill Harsey
09-19-2005, 19:21
Hmm, OK, I wasn't gunna post this, but since you pulled out the blonde jokes... :D
Here's a couple for the ladies.
LAWS FOR WOMEN TO LIVE BY
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something - suggest they are too old for it.
10. Love is blind - but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man - look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal
I just have to add this, I seriously thought about the whole scared thing for a while, and couldn't actually come up with an instance where I really was frightened, so I asked my OH what scared him.
He replied "Only you, Baby!" (Note the use of the endearment to soften me up!)
I thought that was so sweet! :D
Cool, I didn't know women were allowed to tell jokes in the land of OZ.
Those are pretty funny, oops my wifes here, have to log off FAST.
Mr Harsey, you are absolutely right (naturally).
Australian women are not allowed a sense of humour, nope, we are downtrodden and under the thumb, just ask us. *snicker*
Michelle, I love wearing my black leather pants, they are buttersoft and smell good, but it's just too hot here most of the year to wear them.
I never got the whole deliberate dumbing down thing, but being blonde, probably managed quite well accidently :D , and the correct answer to that question "what's for dinner" is "whatever you're making darling, you sweet man you" with a smile added. (Endearments are essential to this statement).
The usual response is either "Do you want X", or "Let's have takeaway".
Problem solved. ;)
ahem - delete a few words... go to bed.. sleep on it and arise thinking to self, "OMG! All I wrote was "without latex!"
Imagine just how that sounds to THIS crew - and there ya have it. :eek:
It needed clarification.
Mind you, I could use a lesson in the finer points between mere latex and black latex - from a pure engineering perspective, of course, M'am.
Ever your student, Auntie P.
So? What is the mathematical difference between latex and Black Latex? 0 - 60 in under 4 seconds?
OK, I flunked basic math, so I need to be lead by the hand...
When carefully standardized surfaces are used to measure the friction coefficients, the difference between static and kinetic coefficients tends to disappear, indicating that the difference may have to do with irregular surfaces, impurities, or other factors which can be frustratingly non-reproducible. To quote a view counter to the above model of friction:
"Many people believe that the friction to be overcome to get something started (static friction) exceeds the force required to keep it sliding (sliding friction), but with dry metals it is very hard to show any difference. The opinion probably arises from experiences where small bits of oil or lubricant are present, or where blocks, for example, are supported by springs or other flexible supports so that they appear to bind."
Is this some techno-jargon for baby-oil? :munchin
(Still trying to figure out how I leapt from a nice little exercise in creative writing to a physics lesson... )
I figure it must be a knee-jerk reaction to TR's accusation that we have to hire out to fix things? If you can teach me this lesson, I'll be all set for anything... spiders, men-folk, latex... anything that comes along.
Jack Moroney (RIP)
09-20-2005, 05:32
ahem - delete a few words... go to bed.. sleep on it and arise thinking to self, "OMG! All I wrote was "without latex!"
Imagine just how that sounds to THIS crew - and there ya have it. :eek:
It needed clarification.
Mind you, I could use a lesson in the finer points between mere latex and black latex - from a pure engineering perspective, of course, M'am.
Ever your student, Auntie P.
You underestimate this "crew". Our concern would be more on the medical side as we fully understand that many folks are allergic to latex.
Bill Harsey
09-20-2005, 06:04
You underestimate this "crew". Our concern would be more on the medical side as we fully understand that many folks are allergic to latex.
Yes, This was my concern also.