View Full Version : Another lawyer joke
A patient needs a heart transplant. He has been waiting for the phone call from his Physician when suddenly the phone rings. It's his Doctor with great news.
His Doctor tells him there's not one but two perfect matches for him and he can take his pick between the two donors.
One is a 27 year old marathon runner.
The other is a 55 year old lawyer.
The man tells the Doctor that he will take the lawyers heart. His Doctor asks him why?
The man replies, because it's never been used. :D
Doc
Roguish Lawyer
04-20-2005, 16:08
The man replies, because it's never been used. :D
He had one? Hmmm . . . :D
The Reaper
04-20-2005, 18:36
Good one, Doc!
TR
signedknife
04-20-2005, 19:36
Do you know whats wrong with a Lawyer in sand up to his neck ?
Not enough sand. :p
SK
Roguish Lawyer
04-20-2005, 19:57
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
Bravo1-3
04-20-2005, 23:52
How many lawyers can you fit into a 55 gallon drum?
One more.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood. :D
What happens when you feed a lawyer Viagra?
He gets taller
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Edited to correct spelling mistake, 07/06
What's the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead rabbit in the road? The rabbit has skid marks in front of it.
Achilles
05-09-2005, 18:14
What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
The lawyer keeps f***ing you after you're dead. :D
What hapens when you feed a lawyer Viagra?
He gets taller
LMAO
Peregrino
05-09-2005, 18:31
What hapens when you feed a lawyer Viagra?
He gets taller
That's why they wear ties and button the top button on their shirt - it keeps the foreskin from creeping up! :D
72_Wilderness
07-02-2005, 14:08
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St Peter checks his dossier and says "Ah, you're an engineer, you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day GOD calls SATAN up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down here in hell?" SATAN replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." GOD replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." SATAN says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." GOD says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." SATAN laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right, and just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Spartan359
07-04-2005, 21:58
Peregrino Quote:
That's why they wear ties and button the top button on their shirt - it keeps the foreskin from creeping up!
That's gross. But funny as hell!!! :D
NousDefionsDoc
07-05-2005, 11:10
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Sheriffs Deputy.
He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education.
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputies expense...
Deputy says, "License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What for?"
Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign ."
Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and regist ration, please."
Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law.
License and registration, please!"
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket,if not you let me go and no ticket."
Deputy says, "Exit your vehicle, sir."
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says:
"Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"
Roguish Lawyer
07-05-2005, 11:13
LOL -- nice. But that guy was a pretty bad lawyer. :D