Trip_Wire (RIP)
12-22-2004, 18:21
15 things men can do at Wal-Mart -- while their wives are taking their damned sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in Housewares'... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the Camping Department -- and tell other shoppers you're sleeping over; invite them to join you if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different-sized funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack ... and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!! PICK ME!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! ... It's those voices again!!!"
And, last but not least:
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while ... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!" :D
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in Housewares'... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the Camping Department -- and tell other shoppers you're sleeping over; invite them to join you if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different-sized funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack ... and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!! PICK ME!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! ... It's those voices again!!!"
And, last but not least:
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while ... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!" :D