View Full Version : DHS running with Scissors
Team Sergeant
02-01-2013, 15:23
DHS running with Scissors
Anyone catch this from the Department of Homeland Security?
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/jan/31/new-homeland-security-video-how-fight-shooters-sci/
Green Beret tip of the day # 38
Never ever confront an armed mass murderer with a pair of scissors.
You know someone in the Department of Homeland Security is making 85k a year thinking up these gems.
Morons.
Team Sergeant
We got an e-mail to see the video but I have better things to do at work. Let them come in we will respond with 5.56 and 9mm.
Remindes me of the old addage do not bring a Knife to a Gunfight.:D
Streck-Fu
02-01-2013, 19:09
Let them come in we will respond with 55.6 and 9mm.
Damn. That's almost a motar round.... :p
Has anyone called 3M? Maybe they're working on a bullet-proof post-it note. :rolleyes:
Has anyone called 3M? Maybe they're working on a bullet-proof post-it note. :rolleyes:
:D or a semi-automatic stapler.
Team Sergeant
02-01-2013, 20:07
Has anyone called 3M? Maybe they're working on a bullet-proof post-it note. :rolleyes: That's funny!
:D or a semi-automatic stapler.
But this one is funny as hell!!!!!!!!!
:D or a semi-automatic stapler.
.... and here's the head instructor for the upcoming DHS CCS (Conceal Carry Stapler) class .....
:munchin
The Reaper
02-01-2013, 20:11
:D or a semi-automatic stapler.
Would the media call that one an "Assault Stapler"? :D
TR
Combat Diver
02-01-2013, 20:13
Saw it last night on Fox News. Run away...........
CD
Saw it last night on Fox News. Run away...........
CD
Now ... now ... now .... didn't you mother (or Team Sergeant) ever tell you ....
Never Run With Scissors !!!!! :eek:
GratefulCitizen
02-01-2013, 20:44
:D or a semi-automatic stapler.
Brings back memories.
Back in the 5th grade, when left unsupervised for too long, we would engage in stapler fights (melee, not ranged).
Wasted staples and blood-stained clothes resulted in a scolding.
Now kids get expelled for bringing a plastic toy gun to school.
:rolleyes:
Would the media call that one an "Assault Stapler"? :D
TR
You know, I did not see that category of office supplies at SHOT Show this year. But maybe by next year they will have the Tactical Office Supplies section.
Great business opportunity. Thanks DHS! :D
ODA CDR (RET)
02-02-2013, 07:26
that's assuming you don't have your entrenching tool handy.
blue02hd
02-02-2013, 07:32
Scissors yes, Staplers NO!! They have high capacity magazines,,,,
See you had to open your mouths. Just ot the DHS email to turn in the automatic staplers. :p
Badger52
02-02-2013, 07:56
You know someone in the Department of Homeland Security is making 85k a year thinking up these gems.
Morons.
Team SergeantThe Active Shooter response card goes in the wallet right next to your "feelings" card.
:rolleyes:
Team Sergeant
02-02-2013, 10:01
I can just see myself at the local mall and an active shooter situation starts. I go for my H&K and six sheeple pull out scissors.......
We should make a video for the morons at DHS.....
Scissors vs. Active shooter
I'll play the active shooter part if 25-50 individuals from DHS play the armed scissor part...
I can just see myself at the local mall and an active shooter situation starts. I go for my H&K and six sheeple pull out scissors.......
Based on our multicultural administration, it is pretty obvious that personal security initiatives are being addressed by a cadre of former male haidressers. A pair of scissors in untrained hands would leave a perpetrator with a very bad haircut that they would have to endure for another 6 weeks. And certainly, every mall has an "upscale" salon whose TOE requires razor sharp scissors in the hands of those with maximum wrist flexibility. Just imagine a squad of those highly motivated alternative lifestyle troopers decending upon you, en masse, with FIRE in their eye rolls, their pursed lips signalling their closeted intentions. Slashing scissors moving in a lightning like blur all around you. The steamlike sounds emanating from the excited throng drowning out your cries for help or mercy.
That is my dream. That is my nightmare......
Ret10Echo
02-02-2013, 10:46
I can just see myself at the local mall and an active shooter situation starts. I go for my H&K and six sheeple pull out scissors.......
We should make a video for the morons at DHS.....
Scissors vs. Active shooter
I'll play the active shooter part if 25-50 individuals from DHS play the armed scissor part...
Shortest video ever....
<<scene start>>
"Ha-ha (brandish scissor)"
"BAM"
<<end>>
Total elapsed time... ~2 seconds
Shortest video ever....
<<scene start>>
"Ha-ha (brandish scissor)"
"BAM"
<<end>>
Total elapsed time... ~2 seconds
And that's with a magazine change!
Badger52
02-02-2013, 11:00
We should make a video for the morons at DHS.....Without getting too specific I've spent the last 11 months trying to work a couple local issues with a new building to implement a couple counter-measures that are basic (if one is capable of thinking like a murderer). Said efforts resulted in more than one 'visit' to the boss for my candor....
TS, when you make that vid, please ship me a copy so I can forward to the team in charge of Corps of Engrs design criteria. I'm sure they'd appreciate it since I seem to have offended someone's sensibilities and want to make it right, ya know.
:rolleyes:
What was that word....?
Oh yeah, morons.
GratefulCitizen
02-02-2013, 12:58
Good luck.
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=4DzcOCyHDqc&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D4DzcOCyHDqc
I can just see myself at the local mall and an active shooter situation starts. I go for my H&K and six sheeple pull out scissors.......
We should make a video for the morons at DHS.....
Scissors vs. Active shooter
I'll play the active shooter part if 25-50 individuals from DHS play the armed scissor part...
How that I would love to be a fly on the wall for, TS! My God...The Carnage!!!:D
From the link;
"...A voice in the video suggests: “If you are caught out in the open and cannot conceal yourself or take cover, you might consider trying to overpower the shooter with whatever means are available.”
The scene that appears on the video then is a man arming himself with scissors.
Well, I would try and overpower with my assets first, and if that didn't work, a nice right hook to the jaw might give me some time to get a sleeper hold....:lifter
No way me or my kin are going down in that situation...better that the perp get on his knees and pray I don't have a pair of scissors handy...SNIP!:mad:
JMHO,
Holly
Badger52
02-02-2013, 15:19
If scissors are so good for self defense against a gun why dont police carry them instead of firearms?Very disappointed in you. You understand that not all the assault staplers have been confiscated yet, right?
:p
Peregrino
02-02-2013, 18:02
I wonder if anyone in DHS actually pays attention to what goes on in the real world. Scissors have been on the "evil implement" list for most of a generation now. I dare anyone to try and defend themselves with the current PC versions that are permitted in classrooms today.
http://www.wcyb.com/news/86-year-old-woman-grabs-gun-in-self-defense/-/14590844/18404728/-/9fdio6z/-/index.html
BULLS GAP, Tenn. -
An 86-year-old woman grabbed a gun in self-defense when police say an intruder broke into her home. News 5 sat down with this woman today and listened to her tell about the experience.
Louise Howard lives just off a busy highway in Bulls Gap.
She told us she's been the victim of theft many times before, and she's had enough and it was time to take a stand.
"I told different people if I ever catch them, I mean to kill them," said Louise Howard.
Louise Howard may be 86 years old, but she isn't afraid to defend her home or her life.
On Friday afternoon she was forced to do that. Howard said a young woman broke the glass on her door and forced her way inside.
"I was in shock. I didn't know what she was going to do to me!" Howard said.
Howard immediately grabbed her gun, but the two started to struggle down the hall.
"I already had my gun in my hand, and I wouldn't turn it loose for anything," she explained.
Howard's hands are proof she wasn't letting go.
"She stuck a fingernail in there," said Howard. "She moved her hands sort of released me a bit. I moved over like that, and I was going to shoot her in the stomach, but she took her knee and hit my elbow."
The bullet ended up inside the wall where it still hides.
Sheriff Ronnie Lawson told us Howard was in her rights to use her gun for protection.
"All indications [were] the intruder, the female, has a wrench. It was what she used to break the window of the door so she could've defended herself," Sheriff Lawson explained.
Howard said she is a repeat victim of crime, "I decided I would put all of my valuables in my pocketbook, and they would be with me wherever I went and nobody would get it," she said.
But she still came out with a loss. Investigators said the suspect took her purse, that held two sets of keys, some rings, a bank card, and checkbook, but thankfully for her, nothing more valuable than that.
"I was more scared for my cat than I was for me, because I guess I'd give my life that cat I love him so," said Howard.
Sheriff Lawson described the suspect as a white female about 5'9" with a slender build, long dark hair, and a round face.
The suspect was seen leaving in a red car.
Snip
Sheriff Lawson described the suspect as a white female about 5'9" with a slender build, long dark hair, and a round face.
The suspect was seen leaving in a red car.
Snip
I think I found the suspect...
This thread does lighten the mood today. Thanks for the laugh...LOLROF
I heard one yesterday at the SB 281 hearing in Annapolis, Md.
Woman was doing her best to articulate how to load a shotgun .22 rifle.
:confused:
Team Sergeant
02-07-2013, 14:34
I called and spoke with DHS and these are the scissors they are referring to (see below) and they said all Americans should be carrying them.
They also said that while they would like to see all the sheeple armed with these scissors they in fact will be armed with these (see "Personal Defense Weapon" not to be confused with civilian assault weapon):
The Reaper
02-07-2013, 18:19
I called and spoke with DHS and these are the scissors they are referring to (see below) and they said all Americans should be carrying them.
They also said that while they would like to see all the sheeple armed with these scissors they in fact will be armed with these (see "Personal Defense Weapon" not to be confused with civilian assault weapon):
What the Hell happened to the fire control parts of that PDW?
Several key ones seem to be missing.
TR
Habu-MFFI 175
02-07-2013, 18:49
Wonder where Edward Scissorhands falls into the lineup of weaponery?
Utah Bob
02-10-2013, 15:47
There was a public meeting in this county the other evening about the Sage Grouse. Fish and Wildlife has been talking about putting areas off limits to hunting and the sage chicken on the endangered listr. naturally, sportsmen are opposed and there have been some shouting matches at previous meetings.
Well they brought 2 body-armor wearing, AR carrying DHS troops to the meeting! A SAGE GROUSE MEETING!
Our sheriff flipped out and managed to hustle the jack booted thugs out of the meeting room and around the corner before many people saw them. Unfortunately I was not there or I would have taken lots of pics.
A SAGE GROUSE meeting!
Ret10Echo
02-10-2013, 18:04
Well they brought 2 body-armor wearing, AR carrying DHS troops to the meeting!
Bob,
Anyone mention how they identified them as DHS "troops"?