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Sdiver
08-18-2012, 10:26
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.

Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, I play golf. You wouldn't mind picking her up on one of those days, would ya?"

tonyz
08-18-2012, 10:51
I like it - here's another - true story...;)


A guy left home about 6:30 a.m. to play golf with his friends.

On the way out the door he answered his wife’s “what time will you be home?” question with “probably about 1:30, I’ll have lunch at the club.”

1:30 came & went, 3:00 passed, 6:15, still not home, finally at about 11:45 PM he rolls in the driveway, leaves his clubs in the garage, and presents his wife with a pizza, and begins the apologetic story.

“We finished our game about 11:30, had lunch, and I started home, when alongside the road I saw this very attractive young woman with a flat tire on her car. I stopped to help, got the tire changed, and looked around for a place to wash my hands.

She offered money, but I refused, so she suggested that I at least allow her to buy me a beer. She said there’s a tavern just up the road, and they have a restroom, you can clean up a bit.

I agreed to stop. We had a beer, then another beer, then a couple more, and I realized that this very attractive young woman was not only sexy, she was very friendly, and a good companion to spend time with.

Before I knew it, we were in the motel next door having wild, passionate sex...all afternoon. And that is why I am so late getting home.”

His wife looked him in straight in the eye and said “don’t try to bullshit me...you played another 36 holes, didn’t you!!!?”

VVVV
08-18-2012, 19:17
Video of his facebook posts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=sj4yXCzhsZs#

tonyz
08-18-2012, 19:32
Video of his facebook posts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=sj4yXCzhsZs#

Maybe this was intended for this thread? Or, maybe not?

http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=39221