View Full Version : Chaperones included in new Secret Service conduct rules
BMT (RIP)
04-28-2012, 17:34
Ethics classes will be conducted for agency employees next week.
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/04/28/chaperones-among-new-secret-service-conduct-rules/#ixzz1tNgrwcYK
BMT
Hm...
So, are the chaperones going to make sure that the SS pay their 'hooker' bill next time?
...chaperones?
really?
Do they get guns?
imagine the following exchange in a bar in Columbia during the site survey...
Chaperone: "Agent Johnson, let go of that womans boobies".
Agent Johnson: "shut up nerd"
I wonder if they are going to recruit SS chaperones from a pool of kids that used to have to give their lunch money to the jocks when they were in high school...
monsterhunter
04-29-2012, 09:31
Where was Bill's chaperone when Monica was in town? Is the POTUS going to have one too now, or is it cool if he's getting it for free?
I would apply for the job:rolleyes: After all who would be better at keeping people out of trouble than someone who was once told by my CoSGM, "Gerry you've never been in trouble, but you've always been right there":eek:.
I wonder if they are going to recruit SS chaperones from a pool of kids that used to have to give their lunch money to the jocks when they were in high school...
No, Billy, I heard they are going to recruit SS chaperones from a pool of worn down housewives. Most highly qualified will be those ladies currently dealing with toddlers who are teething, having meltdowns, telling lies, or not sharing their toys.
SS (while listening to toddler screaming): "Um, I need $800 to take care of 'guests' at a guys-only party tonight."
Chaperone: "So lame. Is that the best you can do?"
SS: "Well, ALL the guys are doing it! You don't want me to be left out, do you?"
Chaperone: "Do you want your penis twisted into the shape of a pretzel or a timber hitch?"
SS: "Never mind. I'm suddenly feeling very motivated to get back to work."
Red Flag 1
04-29-2012, 17:47
Ethics classes will be conducted for agency employees next week.
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/04/28/chaperones-among-new-secret-service-conduct-rules/#ixzz1tNgrwcYK
BMT
Ethics taught under our current administration, Hmmmmm.
Will they use the GSA to set the ethics bar? Or the DOJ plan for securing automatic small arms?
Expect short classes, with a lot of actual photos of what not to do.
RF 1
Dozer523
04-29-2012, 18:56
No, Billy, I heard they are going to recruit SS chaperones from a pool of worn down housewives. . . .
Chaperone: "Do you want your penis twisted into the shape of a pretzel or a timber hitch?"
SS: "Never mind. I'm suddenly feeling very motivated to get back to work." If they're unavailable we still got em covered.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujxDA9VsQG4
Who here knew Jake and Elwood were working SS?
ZonieDiver
04-29-2012, 19:05
I've chaperoned a couple hundred high school dances since 1975. Secret Service agents should be a piece of cake!
Also, I have experience in bars in Central America... and I'm available immediately. ;)
greenberetTFS
04-30-2012, 00:43
If they're unavailable we still got em covered.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujxDA9VsQG4
Who here knew Jake and Elwood were working SS?
;) :D:cool:
Big Teddy :munchin
Chaperone: "Do you want your penis twisted into the shape of a pretzel or a timber hitch?"
Orion...
That is so incredibly disturbing. The fact that you respond that way, AND seem to have knowledge of how to tie a timber hitch show that you are more than capable of holding a job as a secret service chaperone.
For the record, You seem really nice, but I am officially afraid of you now.
Team Sergeant
04-30-2012, 09:37
Hm...
I wonder if they are going to recruit SS chaperones from a pool of kids that used to have to give their lunch money to the jocks when they were in high school...
LOL, I heard from a Secret Service insider they are going to recruit the SS "moms" to go with them. :munchin
mojaveman
04-30-2012, 10:15
Yeah, middle-aged, overweight, extremely verbal and dramatic Jewish or Italian mothers. :p
1stindoor
04-30-2012, 10:42
LOL, I heard from a Secret Service insider they are going to recruit the SS "moms" to go with them. :munchin
Any team guy can tell you all they need to do is bring along the one guy's wife who is the busybody of the group. She'll be calling all the other wives telling them exactly what's going on, who's out, who's in, etc.
Badger52
04-30-2012, 13:30
Expect short classes, with a lot of actual photos of what not to do.
RF 1I can't tell you how anxious I am to see who's able to incorporate the interactive piece of the visit to an aparta into the annual Human Trafficking thing...
:rolleyes:
The Reaper
04-30-2012, 18:14
This is really crazy sounding IMO, the SS are supposed to be the ones who would be chaperones.
No, Slick Willie put an end to that already.
Obviously, anything went on his watch.
TR
Orion...
That is so incredibly disturbing. The fact that you respond that way, AND seem to have knowledge of how to tie a timber hitch show that you are more than capable of holding a job as a secret service chaperone.
For the record, You seem really nice, but I am officially afraid of you now.
Billy, how about accepting some personal responsibility? :D I know this is a website for Type A Freedom Fighters, but as one of those delicate women who's been reading yours (and others) twisted posts for 3+ years, I was bound to be corrupted sooner or later.
For the record, I do not have children, and have been told by my brothers and male friends that this is (allegedly) how their wives behave. I'm sure they are just exaggerating.
Also for the record, I am a horse owner and find the timber hitch one of many useful knots around the farm, although to date I have not used it on a male appendage.
I was taught in corporate America that "feedback is a gift". So thank you for your concern, and I'll try to do better.......;)
You make a very good point...
...a corrupted delicate woman that knows how to tie a timber hitch might be a good person to have around