Marketing Advice for Men

[Richard]

Over the years, people have often asked me to explain the various concepts of Marketing Communications. The following analogies might help clarify the "tools of the trade."

You see a beautiful woman at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
-- That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a beautiful woman. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed."
-- That's Advertising.

You see a beautiful woman at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
-- That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a beautiful woman. You get up and straighten your jacket and tie. You walk up to her and pour her a drink. You say, "May I..." and reach
up to straighten the collar of her blouse, brushing your arm lightly against her breast, and then say casually, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
-- That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a beautiful woman. You talk her into going home with your friend.
-- That's a Sales Rep.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be beautiful women in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
-- That's Spam.

[Kyobanim]

Let's see. . . for every 10 contacts you'll probably get 3 hits and out of those 3, 1 taker. I'd go with spam. :cool:

[lksteve]

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a beautiful woman. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed."
-- That's Advertising.Sounds more like a DADT violation if you ask me...

Let's see. . . for every 10 contacts you'll probably get 3 hits and out of those 3, 1 taker.When I was in the 82nd, I had a squad leader that used to approach women and ask them if they were there to get laid or were just BSing the troops...he had a remarkable batting average, until his wife picked up the pictures he took in Puerto Rico...

[1stindoor]

I knew a guy in college that would ask women for sex right off the bat.

He said he got told off or slapped 9 out of 10 times...but that 10th time!...was incredible!

[ZonieDiver]

Jr. Engineer Sgt on my 12th Group ODA soon after I left AD had a roommate at ASU who used the "straight up" technique at Hayden Library in the evening, with remarkable luck. Said Jr Engr tried it, and reported no success.

Must be in the delivery.

He soon after returned to AD with the 10th... retired as a SGM/CSM. I wonder if he kept it up? (That particular techique, I mean.)