Hostile0311
02-21-2009, 23:24
Not sure if any of these have been posted, but still worth a good laugh!:D
Paddy & Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy missed the tube & Mick came on the bus!!
++++++++++
A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whisky. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.
He replied in disgust 'I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!'
Paddy handed his drink back & said 'Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!'
++++++++++
Paddy calls Easy Jet to book a flight. The operator asks 'How many people are flying with you?'
Paddy replies 'I don't know! Its your frigging plane!!'
++++++++++
Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing sex Paddy says 'I wonder how the girls are getting on'
++++++++++
Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses & lies on the bed spread-eagled & says 'You know what I want don't you?'
'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!'
++++++++++
Q. What's a Catholic priest & a pint of Guinness got in common?
A. black coat, white collar & you've got to watch your back side if you get a dodgy one!
++++++++++
Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!
++++++++++
Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say 'Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!'
Paddy says 'What's his name?'
Mick replies 'Miles from London!'
++++++++++
An Irishman is practising rowing his boat in a field of hay. Paddy drives past & stops. He looks at the Irishman in the boat & shouts 'Its thick idiots like you that give us Irish a bad name! I'd come over there & kick the life out of you if I could swim!'
Paddy & Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy missed the tube & Mick came on the bus!!
++++++++++
A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whisky. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.
He replied in disgust 'I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!'
Paddy handed his drink back & said 'Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!'
++++++++++
Paddy calls Easy Jet to book a flight. The operator asks 'How many people are flying with you?'
Paddy replies 'I don't know! Its your frigging plane!!'
++++++++++
Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing sex Paddy says 'I wonder how the girls are getting on'
++++++++++
Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses & lies on the bed spread-eagled & says 'You know what I want don't you?'
'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!'
++++++++++
Q. What's a Catholic priest & a pint of Guinness got in common?
A. black coat, white collar & you've got to watch your back side if you get a dodgy one!
++++++++++
Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!
++++++++++
Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say 'Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!'
Paddy says 'What's his name?'
Mick replies 'Miles from London!'
++++++++++
An Irishman is practising rowing his boat in a field of hay. Paddy drives past & stops. He looks at the Irishman in the boat & shouts 'Its thick idiots like you that give us Irish a bad name! I'd come over there & kick the life out of you if I could swim!'