View Full Version : 1996 Possum Killing Champion ...
brianksain
10-23-2007, 16:24
Cop story ... thought I'd share.
Old woman raising her daughter's four crack babies ...
Lived in a half burned out house here in the hood.
Plastic sheet for one wall, holes in the floor ... ghetto.
Possums kept getting in through the holes and eating the un-cleaned food (for weeks) off the stove/sink/table/dishes ...
Possums would run across the kids in the bed when Granny would turn the lights off.
Scared the shiite out of 'em.
Every time they would call 911 ... they'd turn on the lights and the possums would bail out down the hole in the floor.
So I told them next time to leave the lights off.
Got the call ... showed up ... and the biggest possum I'd ever seen (I've seen a lot of possums) was eating rotten, boiled chicken out of a pot on the stove.
ASP batons were new then and I lit him up.
He hissed at me when I cut him a flip off the stove ... rotten chicken water, pan, possum blood ... flying everywhere ...
Little boy hollering ... HIT HIM AGAIN OFFICER!!! HIT HIM AGAIN!!!!!!
Indeed.
Ah where have twenty years gone?
BK ... The Cajun Professional:cool:
We see a lot of the same living places here in Ms. You did not state whether you killed the possum with the first hit. Rats, snakes, possums are all tenants of these dilapidated houses.
How are ya'll recovering from the hurrican?
clapdoc sends.
OK, you asked for it.
About 1 1/2 years ago, I might have told it here, I was sitting at my desk working about 2 hours after dark. The wife and kids are upstairs near the back of the house - This was before TS's SureFire Light sale cause my 5 D Cell Mag Light figures into the story.
The wife hollers down the stairs that the dogs are up to something and that I had better take a look. So I pick up the 5 Cell and head out the back door. Yeah, the dogs are raisin' all kinds of heck out in the dark corner of the yard. I go over and they are circling something so I put the light on the spot. It was a big fat possum curled up on it's side, tongue all hangin' out.
I shout up to the women folk that is just a possum and I need and extra set of hands. I glance up at the upper windows and all I can see is eight eyeballs looking over window sills at me - no help from that quarter.
So I come back in, dogs still raisin' heck, get a double plastic bag, shovel and head back to the possum still layin' where I last saw him. So here I am, the dogs still nippin' in and out, possum on the ground and I only have two hands to hold the flashlight, bag and shovel while trying to move the possum. "HEY - I CAN USE SOME HELP DOWN HERE" - eight eyeballs continue to peer over the sills. RATS - never will be any help from that quarter.
So after some juggling I get the shovel under the dead possum and start to lift up, HISSSSSSSSS - that critter wiggled of the shovel with a hisss, all snarly and evil eyed. WHAM - I smacked that dude right on top of the head with the shovel. He was layed out flat on the ground. OK, he's dead, went to pick him up again and danged if he didn't sit up and snap at me and wiggle off the shovel again. Man that shovel travelled a good 270 degree arc as I swung it just as hard as I could from waaaaay back, over my head and smack on top of his head. I swear I heard bones crunch.
This time there was no movement as I loaded him into the plastic bag. Since it was Sunday night I took him around to the green rollout for the mornings pickup. Excitment over the eight eyes came down and wanted the full story.
And that should be the end of the story but.........
The next morning I was taking the last bag of trash out to the can and as I lifted the lid the Possum reared up on top of the trash just like Godzilla and started a hissin' and clawin'. I slamed the lid down right quick and hauled the whole mess to the street.
A couple of hours later I heard the garbage truck comming up the street. So I leaned back and looked out my front window to see what was going to happen. The guy rolled my can up to the back of the truck and went to flip the lid up. As he filled the lid up the Possum leaped up and did the Godzilla thing again. The guy launched into the air and I swear he cleared the top of the truck and landed by the front bumper. The driver is looking at him like he's an idiot, while he is pointing at the back of the truck and jabbering.
They go to the back and dump my neighbors can and then try and use shovels and rakes to knock the Possum off the trash in my can but only knock him off into the bottom of the empty can. By this time the driver just kicks over the can, the Possum rolls out into the street with his head all twisted off to one side, the trash truck moves off and I have to wipe tears from my eyes I'm laughing so hard.
I never did see that Possum again in my back yard.
brianksain
10-23-2007, 17:33
lol ...
Possums ... is tuff:cool:
brianksain
10-23-2007, 17:36
How are ya'll recovering from the hurrican?
clapdoc sends.
Rita smoke checked us.
Nothing much for Humberto to tear up.
Most everyone got a new roof ...
But what did make it through RITA ... Humberto got.
Two direct hits in as many years.
Getting old.
I'll stop whining.
I have to wipe tears from my eyes I'm laughing so hard.
Same here...that was an excellent story! :D
The Reaper
10-23-2007, 19:37
lol ...
Possums ... is tuff:cool:
Till you separate the head from the body by at least three feet.:D
TR
Well, my last al Quita was an expert possum hound. The possums, raccoons, and squirrels would walk along the top rail of the fence. Akitas usually don’t bark a warning before pouncing. She would wait until they were in the middle of the fence and then run and jump against it. The fence would go North and the possum would drop to the deck. Game over.
In a little over a month, she killed 4 of her 6 total kills…she was an Ace! (She didn’t fare as well against a skunk, but that’s a whole other story.) Her last kill was the night before I was to go in for hernia surgery. I had to get up early and wanted to get to bed early as well. I sent her down the run and started locking up the house. I went back down to lock up the slider between the deck and my office and saw blood and fur on the walls and a dead possum under my desk. The dog was already upstairs getting a drink of water.
Having gone through this drill before, I knew that Animal Control would pick it up because they wanted to check for diseases before disposing of the body. It was 2245 and the AC office closed at 2300. The guy that showed up was the same one that picked up all the other victims. As he was leaving he asked, “What kind of dog do you have, anyway?”
Pat
Ambush Master
10-23-2007, 21:51
I went out on the Patio looking for Armadillos, that have been plowing up the back yard, (with weapon in hand) and I detected movement to my lower right. Muzzle followed my visual sweep and there was mr. Opossum!!
I popped it, between the running lights, and went back into the house.
About an hour later, I went out to pitch it over the fence, with a shovel, AND IT WAS GONE!!! Puddle of blood was about a foot in diameter!!!
Haven't seen it since, but I AM watching for it!!!!
Those little guys are TOUGH!!!
Later
Martin
dmgedgoods
10-23-2007, 22:10
Well, my last al Quita was an expert possum hound. The possums, raccoons, and squirrels would walk along the top rail of the fence. Akitas usually don’t bark a warning before pouncing. She would wait until they were in the middle of the fence and then run and jump against it. The fence would go North and the possum would drop to the deck. Game over.
In a little over a month, she killed 4 of her 6 total kills…she was an Ace! (She didn’t fare as well against a skunk, but that’s a whole other story.) Her last kill was the night before I was to go in for hernia surgery. I had to get up early and wanted to get to bed early as well. I sent her down the run and started locking up the house. I went back down to lock up the slider between the deck and my office and saw blood and fur on the walls and a dead possum under my desk. The dog was already upstairs getting a drink of water.
Having gone through this drill before, I knew that Animal Control would pick it up because they wanted to check for diseases before disposing of the body. It was 2245 and the AC office closed at 2300. The guy that showed up was the same one that picked up all the other victims. As he was leaving he asked, “What kind of dog do you have, anyway?”
Pat
Great story. I may have something to match.
One day I came home from work and my girlfriend (now wife) and our roommate had brought home a puppy each. They happened to be pit bull/shar-pei mixes. Beautiful dogs, highly intelligent, etc, etc.
2 months after the shock I endured after a hards day work, I find a dead bird in the backyard. I left it for a while, and after consuming my frosty beverage, I proceeded to remove the poor little guy. The poor little guy was gone. The dogs were hungry, I suppose.
Another month passes and I find a dead squirrel laying in the yard. How they did it, I will never know. Squirrels around here are crafty. I finish my frosty beverage, and go outside...no squirrel. Nothing but bloody chops. No problem, clean 'em up before the ladies arrive, and I'm all good.
Not even 24 hours pass, and the bloodlust continues. A possum choose the wrong yard as passage. I wake up to screeching, wailing, yelping...no barking. I run downstairs, and slam the slider open, and there they are, ravaging a poor lil possum like it was a giant milkbone. Poor possum, because it's dead, but it was rather large. I was in awe actually...I know how feisty those little bastards get. Quite the mess to clean up...
Another week passes...a raccoon and some of his buddies decide to make passage. Once more, I am shot out of bed, and run to the "rescue". As I get to slider and turn the light, I see a fight the likes of nothing I have ever seen. Two dogs, and three well-fed raccoons, on edge, on the defense, ready to rumble. I scramble to get the pellet gun, which has helped off more pest's than I care to admit. As I get outside, two 'coons scooted, and the bigger, meaner one is nothing more than a tug rope for the dogs. Possums may be mean, but around here, raccoons are better fed, and mighty angry. Somehow those dogs managed to work that raccoon, and I will never forget the slaughter. I got the dogs kenneled and called animal control. They dispatch animal control with a local police officer, who happened to be a K9 unit. Neither of them could believe what they had seen. Sadly, both dogs are no longer with me or the wife, and the roommate abandoned her pup long ago to our care. Amazing dogs...woe be to any breathing creature that crosses their path.
As TR said, separation of head and body makes the critter much more manageable. :D
Shawn
Bill Harsey
10-24-2007, 09:20
I used to try and pick a "kinder- gentler' caliber to relate to the size of the problem causing critter and not wake up the neighbors.
This hasn't always worked out well. Now it's 12 gauge all the time.
Reading here confirms my thinking.
Snaquebite
10-24-2007, 09:41
If you get another call, next time give the ole lady this recipe. Maybe she'll quit calling and do her own hunting....:D
POSSUM STEW
Ingredients:
two cans of tomatoe sauce
three cans of cooked tomatoes
1/2 thickly sliced worthog meat(mainly for flavor)
a big bag of pasta noodles (any redneck kind will do)
salt and pepper
1/2 possum (other 1/2 can be used for breakfast possum-omlettes)
Directions:
Fry bacon in big gramma kettle, over mid. size fire, then fry possum in the grease till golden brown. Take the meat out, then add enough water to pot to fill 2/3 way and then boil noodles. Once cooked add both things of tomatoes to kettle and meat and add enough salt and pepper to old granny's taste. Cook all together for a bout 1 hour simmering over low fire to sautee.
Bone Appa Teet.
Cold Steel
10-24-2007, 10:23
When I was a young boy I learned the value of ID'ing a target before shooting. I had a old grandfather figure, Putsy (His really name was Max), that would help out with my dad's construction business and take me fishing on the weekends. One Monday Putsy called into the shop to explain that he wouldn't be making it in for a few days. He had been have a problem with a cat or possum getting into the basement and over the weekend he sat by the stairs listening for it. About 1:30 in the morning he had heard something rustle and headed downstairs with his .22 pistol. Pusty located the noise, saw the black shadow, aimed then fired. No movement from the critter but his wife heard him say "Ah shit, cat's don't have stripes!"
Is there competitive possum killing now? If so, I may have missed my calling and could be forced to compete in the "Talented Amateur" category:D
Blake
82ndtrooper
10-24-2007, 13:32
Pete: ROLMFAO
I'm still lauphing from your story !! and I've tears in my eyes just from the way you tell that story.
That's one hard head. He failed to follow simple instructions.
Is there competitive possum killing now? If so, I may have missed my calling and could be forced to compete in the "Talented Amateur" category:D
Blake
Blake - that post screams "The Rest Of The Story Is.........."
Better cough it up now before we send some midnight visitors your way.
Pete
OK, I'll bite too,
I went to work at an extra job at Blossom Music Center one night. The concert was going real well with STYX playing their hits. Well, when it got dark we had to go into the woods once in a while to see if anything was going on. We did this because every other concert someone was yelling rape. Only a few were legitimate though. So I am walking around in the far corner where the Cuyahoga Valley National Park hits Blossom on my first round and found nothing going on, but man it is dark back here. It was also a very hot night with a storm approaching from the west. At the time the lightening was only cloud to cloud and was beautiful to say the least. No rain yet. I got off of one of the picnic benches and decided to make my second run back in THAT CORNER of Blossom. As I got to about the 50 yard mark along the fence I heard noise coming from my 1 o'clock position. I am thinking who in the world could have passed me without a flashlight and me not seeing it. Now may I remind you that allot of other thoughts are running through your head with visualizations accompanying these thoughts. So I get closer to the noise and it seems like he is getting closer to me as well. Now I here a noise immediately to my right and this one is coming through the woods at a pretty good clip towards me. I reach down and put my hand on my .45 and am thinking, fellas if you are going to jump me, I am not going down without a fight, but my brain is telling me to run now, RUN DUMBARSE AND DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU'VE REACHED HOME! Just as I reached for the .45 the one running towards me makes contact on my right leg and begins hissing. I try to kick it off, but man this thing is big, big, much bigger that a dog; Jeeeez it must be a bear! I am going to die in the fetal position and it is going to look very bad and my family will have to have what's left of me in a closed casket! My holster was one of those Safariland Type III holster's and I had practiced quite a bit with it so I could be proficent with it. But for some reason it wasn't working now. This one is still hanging on to my leg scratching and biting and the other has joined in and I cannot run because they other goes along with his blood relative and also latches on to my right leg! I shine my light down onto them and they are huge raccoons! I cannot believe I am being attacked by two very large raccoons! Then as I try and run with them hanging on to my right leg they end up tripping me. I am screaming at the top of my lungs; "OFFICER NEEDS ASSISTANCE, OFFICER NEEDS ASSISTANCE NOW, I AM GETTING ATTACKED HERE AND AM ABOUT TO DIE, MULTIPLE ANIMALS ON TOP OF ME!" Finally after what seemed like a very long time I reach back and pulled out my PRC24 and I began to bash them on the head while trying to get up. I must of hit them pretty much right on target because according to the flashlight they let go and were rolling around on their backs making noises. Now, I was faced with a delimma. Should I kill them right now or should I just call it quits and celebrate victory later? I still however couldn't get my .45 out so I did the next best thing and I ran so fast that I ended up right next to my Sergeant about 100 yards away and next to the woman's restroom. I had lost 1 radio (wasn't even turned on!); sheriff's office issue, four keepers, my gunbelt was up around my right side of my chest, my pants were shredded, No bites but allot of scratches, bruises and no more dignity, and I all I wanted to do was take a nap. This Sergeant looks at me and tells me: "Why haven't you checked in yet?" I though about telling him about what had just transpired but thought jeeez, it is only an extra job, only an extra job, now sleep. I went into the security office and told them all my story. I even recieved a medal with a picture of a raccoon with a red circle and slash across the raccoon! What a night.
82ndtrooper
10-24-2007, 18:14
OK, I'll bite too,
I went to work at an extra job at Blossom Music Center one night. The concert was going real well with STYX playing their hits. Well, when it got dark we had to go into the woods once in a while to see if anything was going on. We did this because every other concert someone was yelling rape. Only a few were legitimate though. So I am walking around in the far corner where the Cuyahoga Valley National Park hits Blossom on my first round and found nothing going on, but man it is dark back here. It was also a very hot night with a storm approaching from the west. At the time the lightening was only cloud to cloud and was beautiful to say the least. No rain yet. I got off of one of the picnic benches and decided to make my second run back in THAT CORNER of Blossom. As I got to about the 50 yard mark along the fence I heard noise coming from my 1 o'clock position. I am thinking who in the world could have passed me without a flashlight and me not seeing it. Now may I remind you that allot of other thoughts are running through your head with visualizations accompanying these thoughts. So I get closer to the noise and it seems like he is getting closer to me as well. Now I here a noise immediately to my right and this one is coming through the woods at a pretty good clip towards me. I reach down and put my hand on my .45 and am thinking, fellas if you are going to jump me, I am not going down without a fight, but my brain is telling me to run now, RUN DUMBARSE AND DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU'VE REACHED HOME! Just as I reached for the .45 the one running towards me makes contact on my right leg and begins hissing. I try to kick it off, but man this thing is big, big, much bigger that a dog; Jeeeez it must be a bear! I am going to die in the fetal position and it is going to look very bad and my family will have to have what's left of me in a closed casket! My holster was one of those Safariland Type III holster's and I had practiced quite a bit with it so I could be proficent with it. But for some reason it wasn't working now. This one is still hanging on to my leg scratching and biting and the other has joined in and I cannot run because they other goes along with his blood relative and also latches on to my right leg! I shine my light down onto them and they are huge raccoons! I cannot believe I am being attacked by two very large raccoons! Then as I try and run with them hanging on to my right leg they end up tripping me. I am screaming at the top of my lungs; "OFFICER NEEDS ASSISTANCE, OFFICER NEEDS ASSISTANCE NOW, I AM GETTING ATTACKED HERE AND AM ABOUT TO DIE, MULTIPLE ANIMALS ON TOP OF ME!" Finally after what seemed like a very long time I reach back and pulled out my PRC24 and I began to bash them on the head while trying to get up. I must of hit them pretty much right on target because according to the flashlight they let go and were rolling around on their backs making noises. Now, I was faced with a delimma. Should I kill them right now or should I just call it quits and celebrate victory later? I still however couldn't get my .45 out so I did the next best thing and I ran so fast that I ended up right next to my Sergeant about 100 yards away and next to the woman's restroom. I had lost 1 radio (wasn't even turned on!); sheriff's office issue, four keepers, my gunbelt was up around my right side of my chest, my pants were shredded, No bites but allot of scratches, bruises and no more dignity, and I all I wanted to do was take a nap. This Sergeant looks at me and tells me: "Why haven't you checked in yet?" I though about telling him about what had just transpired but thought jeeez, it is only an extra job, only an extra job, now sleep. I went into the security office and told them all my story. I even recieved a medal with a picture of a raccoon with a red circle and slash across the raccoon! What a night.
Reminds me of the movie "Gremlins"
"What's that stuff he's got all over him?" :eek:
This is a Possum thread! Get with the program :D
Pat
dmgedgoods
10-24-2007, 19:20
Reminds me of the movie "Gremlins"
"What's that stuff he's got all over him?" :eek:
"Don't get water on them!" Something might puss up out of their backs.
Possums disgust me. May the shotguns stay loaded and the possums keep falling.
Shawn
Blake - that post screams "The Rest Of The Story Is.........."
Better cough it up now before we send some midnight visitors your way.
Pete
I have killed these infernal beasts with rifles, pistols, shotguns, machetes, knives, shovels, sharp sticks, golf carts, canoe paddles, Pulaskis, pick up trucks, dogs, traps, and possibly even harsh language once.
I abhor possums, I go out of my way to kill them (less and less necessary with increased access to suppressed firearms) even after all of this, I recently caught one of these demon-spawn in a live trap and considered changing my possum killing ways by releasing it unharmed. As soon as I opened the door to the trap and dumped this incredibly stupid animal onto the ground, it rolled over, hissed and bared it's teeth at me and promptly got a face-full of suppressed .22 goodness for it's disrespectful behavior. Basically, My feelings toward possums can be summed up in one statement: I won't tolerate Surliness in a Marsupial.
Possums, Armadillos, and Javalinas; Proof that God loves us and wants us to have reactive targets.
Good times,
blake
Ambush Master
10-24-2007, 19:59
Well, since MAB and Air have introduced other "Critters":
A previous Armadillo had been tearing up the back yard and I saw him. Got the BL22 out and loaded it with Calibris (no-gunpowder .22s). I opened the door, stepped outside and Air, his Mom and Siblings all came out onto the Patio. I lit it up with a Surefire and the thing sat upright!!!
I held the light on it and center punched it!! It dropped down on all 4s and CHARGED US!!!!:eek: Judy and the kids did a "Keystone Cops" number trying to get inside!!! After they cleared the threshold, I came in and closed the door. That thing then went into a Dillo Dying Ritual where it did BACKFLIP AFTER BACKFLIP on my Patio slinging blood everywhere!!! It looked like an axe murder had taken place in my backyard!!!!
Armadillos!!! Later, I'll post the Javalena Story from the Kingston Ranch days.
Take care.
Martin
Ok,
Here is a possuum story for you.
One night our Yellow Labrador named "Kirby" got me up to use the bathroom at around 2 o'clock in the morning. It was a very hot night in July to say the least. Kirby usually goes then comes back in. Well he decides it is time to play with a tennis shoe of mine that is laying in the middle of my backyard. I am calling him and calling him but he just kept up running to my shoe and got down on his two front legs and just barked and growed at it. So I get my clothes on and sandals and proceeded to yank him by his collar and tell him "NO, bad dog, no bone", now get into the house"! I grab him and as I do I see my tennis shoe move slightly. No big deal, just a hallucination, see them all the time in Northeastern Ohio. Kirby meanwhile sat down behind me a few yards away and he just stared at me as I was turning around to pick my shoe. He had that look that said: "OK, master, Alpha male, dad who is not afraid of anything, etc., etc. Let's see you pick up your tennis shoe". I reached down while still staring at Kirby and immediately felt fur and heard the loudest hiss I have ever heard of. You know how you feel when you get that instant "spike/surge" of adrenalin. Your body wants to move but for a split second you can't until you are done prossessing what just happened. One thing that did work however was my voice and all I could do was scream out loud like a, well, let's just say somewhere high on the scale of a boys choir, little ones at that. Anyways Kirby takes off up through the backyard and up on the deck by the screen door then sits down and starts watching me again this time behind and between the deck rails. An observation here if I may. Seems that Mr. Possie had been playing dead the whole time until I arrived. By that time I guess he had had enough. Time to go to plan B. So when I grabbed him I think I grabbed his dupah and that did it for him. Now by this time my neighbors had turned on their outdoor lights and staring out there windows to see who screamed like a, like a you know. I still to this day cannot believe how many of my neighbors possessd working flashlights. They asked me if I was OK and I stated yes and that I had just stepped in some dog dung and was mad. Hey it worked. But then again you always have a person in your neighborhood who watches all the CSI's and Investigative shows on TV. My neighbor on the left side stated aloud that what I heard was a woman screaming. I told him that was not a woman but this possuum who was mad at me, so go back to slepp and rest your neck! They all went back in their house and started turning off their lights. I grabbed a shovel and began picking him up so that I could direct him back towards the national forest via the "ejection method". I tossed him about 20-30 feet in the right direction and he went into the forest. This happened about a month after the Raccoon incident which was before a bunch of jelly fish attacked me on vacation.:eek:
I guess I have some sort of a problem with little animals.:confused: Scientifically what would that be called?
Why’s everyone whacking these little critters? My dog was doing what she was programmed for. I had no problem with them. (My wife jumped out of the hot tub the first time she saw one…but she got better.) I’ve stood inches away and had them hiss at me, but they are not aggressive. They used to eat from my neighbor’s Loquat tree. They would hang about 4 feet from my window while eating and they smack loudly when they chew.
We’ve had tons of Possums trailing back and forth on our fences for over twenty years. It’s interesting to see the mom carrying her clinging babies. Then, when they’re older, leading them along the fence rail.
Eventually she lets them lead her. Often, one of the kids will make a wrong turn and end up on a dead-end fence. The mom will wait behind the little one until it figures out it has to turn around. The moms are patient. I’ve seen them wait over an hour. Now, after a half an hour or so, I’ll go out and entice the youngster to turn around and off they go.
They ain’t cute, I know, but it pretty cool to have wildlife here at the beach. Plus, they taste like chicken! :D
I’ve got a Falcon hanging around now. Love it!
BTW, I had an Armadillo as a pet when I was six and lived in Beaumont, Texas. It escaped the first chance it got. Not sure what it tasted like. :confused:
Pat
I used to try and pick a "kinder- gentler' caliber to relate to the size of the problem causing critter and not wake up the neighbors.
This hasn't always worked out well. Now it's 12 gauge all the time.
Reading here confirms my thinking.
Bill,
It seem up here the possums numbers have dwindled down a lot. I hardly see them eating asphalt any more. Never around by A/O. Raccoons seem to have thinned out a bit. I think we may have a big cat working the A/O.
H.
dmgedgoods
10-24-2007, 21:53
I have killed these infernal beasts with rifles, pistols, shotguns, machetes, knives, shovels, sharp sticks, golf carts, canoe paddles, Pulaskis, pick up trucks, dogs, traps, and possibly even harsh language once.
I abhor possums, I go out of my way to kill them (less and less necessary with increased access to suppressed firearms) even after all of this, I recently caught one of these demon-spawn in a live trap and considered changing my possum killing ways by releasing it unharmed. As soon as I opened the door to the trap and dumped this incredibly stupid animal onto the ground, it rolled over, hissed and bared it's teeth at me and promptly got a face-full of suppressed .22 goodness for it's disrespectful behavior. Basically, My feelings toward possums can be summed up in one statement: I won't tolerate Surliness in a Marsupial.
Possums, Armadillos, and Javalinas; Proof that God loves us and wants us to have reactive targets.
Good times,
blake
"Harsh language" ROFL
You made me put a fine ale through my nose.
Shawn
Ok,
I guess I have some sort of a problem with little animals.:confused: Scientifically what would that be called?
Anti-Doolittlism.
I have killed these infernal beasts with rifles, pistols, shotguns, machetes, knives, shovels, sharp sticks, golf carts, canoe paddles, Pulaskis, pick up trucks, dogs, traps, and possibly even harsh language once.
Good times,
blakeYou're killin me over here...
Seay safe.
hunteran
10-27-2007, 18:50
OK, you asked for it.
About 1 1/2 years ago, I might have told it here, I was sitting at my desk working about 2 hours after dark. The wife and kids are upstairs near the back of the house - This was before TS's SureFire Light sale cause my 5 D Cell Mag Light figures into the story.
The wife hollers down the stairs that the dogs are up to something and that I had better take a look. So I pick up the 5 Cell and head out the back door. Yeah, the dogs are raisin' all kinds of heck out in the dark corner of the yard. I go over and they are circling something so I put the light on the spot. It was a big fat possum curled up on it's side, tongue all hangin' out.
I shout up to the women folk that is just a possum and I need and extra set of hands. I glance up at the upper windows and all I can see is eight eyeballs looking over window sills at me - no help from that quarter.
So I come back in, dogs still raisin' heck, get a double plastic bag, shovel and head back to the possum still layin' where I last saw him. So here I am, the dogs still nippin' in and out, possum on the ground and I only have two hands to hold the flashlight, bag and shovel while trying to move the possum. "HEY - I CAN USE SOME HELP DOWN HERE" - eight eyeballs continue to peer over the sills. RATS - never will be any help from that quarter.
So after some juggling I get the shovel under the dead possum and start to lift up, HISSSSSSSSS - that critter wiggled of the shovel with a hisss, all snarly and evil eyed. WHAM - I smacked that dude right on top of the head with the shovel. He was layed out flat on the ground. OK, he's dead, went to pick him up again and danged if he didn't sit up and snap at me and wiggle off the shovel again. Man that shovel travelled a good 270 degree arc as I swung it just as hard as I could from waaaaay back, over my head and smack on top of his head. I swear I heard bones crunch.
This time there was no movement as I loaded him into the plastic bag. Since it was Sunday night I took him around to the green rollout for the mornings pickup. Excitment over the eight eyes came down and wanted the full story.
And that should be the end of the story but.........
The next morning I was taking the last bag of trash out to the can and as I lifted the lid the Possum reared up on top of the trash just like Godzilla and started a hissin' and clawin'. I slamed the lid down right quick and hauled the whole mess to the street.
A couple of hours later I heard the garbage truck comming up the street. So I leaned back and looked out my front window to see what was going to happen. The guy rolled my can up to the back of the truck and went to flip the lid up. As he filled the lid up the Possum leaped up and did the Godzilla thing again. The guy launched into the air and I swear he cleared the top of the truck and landed by the front bumper. The driver is looking at him like he's an idiot, while he is pointing at the back of the truck and jabbering.
They go to the back and dump my neighbors can and then try and use shovels and rakes to knock the Possum off the trash in my can but only knock him off into the bottom of the empty can. By this time the driver just kicks over the can, the Possum rolls out into the street with his head all twisted off to one side, the trash truck moves off and I have to wipe tears from my eyes I'm laughing so hard.
I never did see that Possum again in my back yard.
Right now I have tears streaming down my face I'm laughing so hard.
My only contribution to this thread took place about a year ago. There was a possum eating the catfood. I stepped outside and kicked the thing off the porch with my boots. It was a perfect kick, I couldn't help but yell "Ole!" after seeing it land in the bushes about 20 feet from the porch.
monsterhunter
10-28-2007, 07:42
I have killed these infernal beasts with rifles, pistols, shotguns, machetes, knives, shovels, sharp sticks, golf carts, canoe paddles, Pulaskis, pick up trucks, dogs, traps, and possibly even harsh language once.
I abhor possums, I go out of my way to kill them (less and less necessary with increased access to suppressed firearms) even after all of this, I recently caught one of these demon-spawn in a live trap and considered changing my possum killing ways by releasing it unharmed. As soon as I opened the door to the trap and dumped this incredibly stupid animal onto the ground, it rolled over, hissed and bared it's teeth at me and promptly got a face-full of suppressed .22 goodness for it's disrespectful behavior. Basically, My feelings toward possums can be summed up in one statement: I won't tolerate Surliness in a Marsupial.
Possums, Armadillos, and Javalinas; Proof that God loves us and wants us to have reactive targets.
Good times,
blake
Air.177,
I agree with you whole heartedly that these vile creatures of the night have been placed on this planet for the amusement of good dogs and marksmen. Unfortunately, in the suburbs, I was forced to seek out another weapon. I would have let the dog handle them; however, the sport for her is in the chase or fight. When they just lay there, she tends to prompt them with little nips and a constant bark (at 0200).
After several attempts to just make them go away, I realized the only option would be a sound drubbing. The first weapon I selected seems to be a favorite of fellow possum hunters, a long flat shovel. It’s funny how most of us initially believed one good blow to the melon would end the problem. I was amazed at how hard their little skulls are and all they did was hiss and flip like a fish out of water.
I began raining down several blows, each one making this horrible BONG BONG BONG, until it’s little skull was flat. This was loud enough to wake the neighbors, some of which frown on my methods. For the next possum, I discovered my wife’s aluminum softball bat was ideal. It makes a nice little ‘bink’ sound, just like when you hit a good liner. The only downside is the short handle. I learned to keep the hose out for both me and the bat.
Shovels, bats, firearms...does no one here appreciate the the range and excellent cleaving ability of a good halberd? :D
The Reaper
10-28-2007, 14:35
That shovel does have an edge, doesn't it?
Or is there just some strange regression to cave man clubbing when armed with a shovel?:D
TR
That shovel does have an edge, doesn't it?...TR
The shovel does indeed have an edge but I hate messy cleanups.
Between Tip Tip, my Carolina Black & Tan:D, and me I think we've thined out the Oversize Rat Population in our neighborhhod. Have not had a chance to improve my swing in the last year or more.