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Warrior-Mentor
06-15-2006, 12:03
YOU MAY BE TOO HOOAH IF:

1. Your newborn must attend the newcomers' orientation briefing within the first 30 days.

2. Your wife's two favorite shades of lipstick are light green and loam.

3. You go to a barbecue and insist that your family feed tactically.

4. You make your children clear housing before they go off to college.

5. You require your mechanic to replace the sandbags on your floorboards as part of a tune-up.

6. Your POV is equipped with blackout lights.

7. Your kids call their mother "Household 6".

8. Your kids volunteer to pull air guard on the school bus.

9. Your doorbell sounds off with the current challenge and password.

10. You have sector sketches and range cards posted by every window in your house.

11. You give the command "Fix Bayonets" at Thanksgiving Dinner.

12. Your kids show their meal cards at the kitchen door, except the oldest, who is on separate rations, and must pay for the meal.

13. You make your daughter sign out on pass on Prom Night.

14. Your kindergartner calls recess a "smoke break".

15. Your wife "takes a knee" in the checkout line at the supermarket.

16. You do your "back to school" shopping at the U.S. Cavalry Store.

17. Your kids call the tooth fairy "Slicky Boy".;

18. Your son fails the third grade, but tells everyone he was a "phase three recycle"

19. Your kids salute their grandparents.

20. Your wife's "high-n-tight" is more squared away than your Commander's.

21. Your kids get an LES with their allowance.

22. Your grandmother won "All American Week" and "Best Ranger"

23. Your kids initials are AR, FM, TM, or DA.

24. Your pick-up has your name stenciled on the windshield.

25. Your kids are hand-receipt holders.

26. Your older kids call the youngest one "Cherry" or F-N-G.

27. Your kids recite their ABCs phonetically.

28. Your wife keeps Mermites in the China cabinet.

29. Your wife left you and you held a "Change of Command" ceremony.

30. You call your in-laws the "Slice Elements".

31. Your dog's name is "Ranger".

32. All your possessions are military issue.

33. Your kids call their sandbox "NTC".

34. You have pull-up bars outside the kitchen door.

35. Your daughter's first haircut was a flattop.

36. Your kids pull fireguard.

37. Your newborn's first words were "all OK Jumpmaster".

38. You decorate your Christmas Tree with Chem Lights and Engineer Tape.

39. You've given your children an Article 15.

40. And you are Too Hooah if you understood all of these expressions

Firebeef
06-15-2006, 12:16
Hoo-ah

incommin
06-15-2006, 12:24
I think the only thing you left out was:

You think all problems can be solved with duct tape, a Gerber, or a .45!

x SF med
06-15-2006, 12:42
How about morning inspection forl the kids - with demerits and a gig pit?

Warrior-Mentor
06-15-2006, 14:09
YOU REQUIRE THE KIDS TO MAKE SECURITY PATROLS OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

You inspect the playground for butts.

You tell the neighbors when their yard fails inspection.

Hangfire
06-15-2006, 20:31
29. Your wife left you and you held a "Change of Command" ceremony.

Thats to funny

How about.....Your kids yell "AT EASE" when you enter the room

NousDefionsDoc
06-15-2006, 21:47
Stealing it.

Roycroft201
06-15-2006, 23:27
This is great!:D

PSM
06-16-2006, 15:55
34. You have pull-up bars outside the kitchen door.

HOOAH!

Pat

TFM
06-17-2006, 05:37
Before lights out you have final formation and say to the kids "fall out and fall in on your beds". At that point they take one step back, growl, execute an about face, and move out smartly to there rooms.

incommin
06-17-2006, 12:25
Your kids call the bathroom "the latrine".

You assign one of your kids to be a DRO at meal time.

The rocks in your yard are painted yellow or OD green.

Monsoon65
06-18-2006, 14:52
Geez, these are great!

I was busted on when my wife and I went to a section party. I told them that she was meeting me at 1815L, and they were like, "You actually tell time that way?" and they tested her when she arrived. She said, "He said to be here at 1815L." They all had a hoot at my expense.

But is there any other way to accurately tell time?!