View Full Version : Women
Roguish Lawyer
05-05-2006, 10:41
These were e-mailed to me. I'm hopefully only posting things that haven't been here before.
Roguish Lawyer
05-05-2006, 10:41
Second is for the 18Cs:
Roguish Lawyer
05-05-2006, 10:42
and one more, not as funny IMO, but still good:
Goggles Pizano
05-05-2006, 10:51
Actually I thought the third was just as good as the others. Of course being married I don't worry about the amount of shopping time spent-I just give her the size and wait until my order returns! :munchin
First one is some math
Okay....in the first equation, the 4th step indicated.....
4) "Money is the root of all problems."
I had always thought that....
"Money was the root of all EVIL."
"Therefore.....Women = Evil"
Wouldn't this make more sense...
I . :D :munchin :lifter
Here's another one.....
The Remote Control
Here's another one.....
The Remote Control
I can never find the remote so I have to go at it manually. When I do find the remote the batteries are being used elsewhere. :eek: :mad:
I think ya'll need one of these. :D
This is a scan from an Housekeeping Monthly, 1955. Hope it is still legible.
Those were the good 'ol days.
The Reaper
05-08-2006, 13:26
This is a scan from an Housekeeping Monthly, 1955. Hope it is still legible.
Those were the good 'ol days.
Yeah, I was shocked, but intrigued by the third bullet on the left.
I didn't know they did that back then.:D
TR
I didn't know they did that back then.:D
TR
It was before the FemiNazi Revolution, when it was kept undergound. They didn't use to drive around with rainbows on their bumpers.
Kept it covert.
That should be reprinted and distributed once a week to EVERY woman in the country.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men break wind more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
aricbcool
05-08-2006, 22:27
I haven't talked to my wife in three years. Haven't been able to get a word in edgewise. :D
--Aric
Weazle23
05-11-2006, 13:11
Okay....in the first equation, the 4th step indicated.....
4) "Money is the root of all problems."
I had always thought that....
"Money was the root of all EVIL."
"Therefore.....Women = Evil"
Wouldn't this make more sense...
I mean this IS Frontsite you're talking about. :D :munchin :lifter
I was thinking this as well.
Not to be nick picky or anything, but... it's not money that is the root of all evil, the true quote is: "The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil" - 1 Timothy 6:10 NIV
Warrior-Mentor
05-11-2006, 19:34
I was thinking this as well.
Not to be nick picky or anything, but... it's not money that is the root of all evil, the true quote is: "The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil" - 1 Timothy 6:10 NIV
Therefore, for the love of women is the root of all evil. ;)
Michelle
05-12-2006, 14:00
That should be reprinted and distributed once a week to EVERY woman in the country.
So should the statistics of how many men in 1955 were capable of fully supporting their families with just their sole income versus now. Or we could take it a step further. How about statistics on how many men stayed around to take care of their families versus now.
For all the extra responsibilites the "working wives and mothers" have had to pick up in decades since, I haven't seen a commensurate additional burden being added to the XYs plate as a whole. It's a sad commentary in a way. Women were treated much more subserviant back in those days, but at the same time, in a way, they were also better cared for and cherished in a lot of ways.
m1
Jack Moroney (RIP)
05-12-2006, 14:21
.
For all the extra responsibilites the "working wives and mothers" have had to pick up in decades since,
m1
Let's talk about that for a minute. While I agree that some folks need to both work to support themselves many chose to do so to support a life style that often exceeds common sense or immediate needs. Now I have no problem with folks all working for the brass ring but I do have problems when folks try to have both a family and life style that is not supportable without trade offs between having a career and having and raising kids. If you want a career that requires trade offs then don't have kids unless you can provide for them and I don't mean with a nanny or other surrogate. Mother is not a title it is a function where as most careers are what you do and the name is a function not who you are. The phrase "working wives and mothers" is therefore an oxymoron.
Roguish Lawyer
05-12-2006, 15:16
I agree with the Colonel. I would not legislatively preclude people from delegating child-raising to others, my personal view is that the parents should do it themselves.
Michelle, husbands are much more involved with kids than they were in prior generations. Look at TS, aka Trophy Husband/Mr. Mom. :munchin
Michelle, husbands are much more involved with kids than they were in prior generations. Look at TS, aka Trophy Husband/Mr. Mom. :munchin
:eek: :p
m1 I have to agree, men are so much more hands on with their kids these days. I see my brothers, cousins, friends etc really involved vice males of my childhood years, to include my own dad....unless I was creating trouble that is... :D
Goggles Pizano
05-13-2006, 11:06
I do everything with my daughters! In fact the only thing I don't attend regularly is swimming practice. I also work shifts (three rotating weekly), and the wife works full time. We are living comfortably with minimal debt.
I agree with the Colonel but to a degree. Some face time with the kids is lost Sir however we bust our asses to make up for it with the time available (or we make time available!).
I'd say if parents are enjoying their children and raising them to be intelligent, patriotic, and respectful, then our success will be measured by their success. :lifter
Jack Moroney (RIP)
05-13-2006, 11:38
I agree with the Colonel but to a degree. Some face time with the kids is lost Sir however we bust our asses to make up for it with the time available (or we make time available!).
:lifter
Yes, I have lost a lot of face time, but my wife always kept me in the equation. She used to have a small note book that the kids called the "payback book". When they got out of line there was an entry for dad to peruse when he came home with his ruck full of dirty clothing.:D
Michelle
05-18-2006, 15:20
Let's talk about that for a minute. While I agree that some folks need to both work to support themselves many chose to do so to support a life style that often exceeds common sense or immediate needs. Now I have no problem with folks all working for the brass ring but I do have problems when folks try to have both a family and life style that is not supportable without trade offs between having a career and having and raising kids. If you want a career that requires trade offs then don't have kids unless you can provide for them and I don't mean with a nanny or other surrogate. Mother is not a title it is a function where as most careers are what you do and the name is a function not who you are. The phrase "working wives and mothers" is therefore an oxymoron.
Sorry I'm late on my reply to this... been away for a few days.
Mr. Moroney (and others) you bring up some very valid points. I think perhaps my views are a bit skewed by my demographic. I am surrounded by single mothers raising kids as a result of divorce or the father just walking out on the family. I also live in an area where a 720 sq. ft., two bedroom house in not the greatest of neighborhoods will cost you at least $400,000 (and no, I'm not kidding -). With a cost of living such as this, having to be a "two-income" family is nearly inescapable... and that's not to "live large"... that's just to get by and own a home.
RL, I would agree with you that husbands/fathers of today are more involved with their children than in previous generations with the caveat that is probably only true in families that are "intact". I don't see a lot of intact families these days compared to the 1950's.
I hope it's just a demographic issue as I said above. I need to get out and see how the rest of America is. I don't think I get a very good or encouraging picture of things here next door to Hollyweird.
Glad I'm moving to Texas soon. ;)
m1
p.s. Thank you all for your thoughtful input on this. I know I hijacked a "humor thread" with some serious interjection and I apologize for that, but I appreciate hearing the feedback and points of view.
Warrior-Mentor
05-18-2006, 15:57
Just surprised we haven't heard from FS lately...especially with a thread with a title like "women" :confused:
...perhaps we should have named it "XX"
Roguish Lawyer
05-18-2006, 16:41
I am surrounded by single mothers raising kids as a result of divorce or the father just walking out on the family....
RL, I would agree with you that husbands/fathers of today are more involved with their children than in previous generations with the caveat that is probably only true in families that are "intact". I don't see a lot of intact families these days compared to the 1950's.
I believe that this probably is our biggest social problem, and the root of many others.
frostfire
06-02-2006, 22:54
Just surprised we haven't heard from FS lately...especially with a thread with a title like "women" :confused:
...perhaps we should have named it "XX"
TWO GUYS
Two guys from Campbellford are sittin' in a boat on a lake fishing and suckin' down beer when all of a sudden the first says: "I think I'm going to divorce my wife... she hasn't spoken to me in over 6 months!"
The second sips his beer and says: "You better think it over... women like that are hard to find."
SnafuRacer
06-02-2006, 23:59
The women have retaliated with their own equation :)