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Old 11-19-2021, 06:56   #16
Swoop
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My hypocrisy goes only so far, I’m your huckleberry!
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Old 11-19-2021, 07:09   #17
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Look familiar?

Hmm?
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Old 11-19-2021, 07:58   #18
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you cold-hearted rat-bastard!!! IMMA hunt you down and chain you to a sewer pipe in the attic crawl space!!!
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Old 11-19-2021, 08:47   #19
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In the interest of being helpful:
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/...kholm-syndrome

Last known picture~
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Old 11-21-2021, 02:00   #20
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Box, what have you started?! I think these two are about to lather up in baby oil and go after each other with pool noodles on a slip and slide!!
Maybe someone should referee?

Probably only get half an episode out of that. I’ll work on it…

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Old 11-22-2021, 20:12   #21
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Box, what have you started?! I think these two are about to lather up in baby oil and go after each other with pool noodles on a slip and slide!!
Maybe someone should referee?

Probably only get half an episode out of that. I’ll work on it…

G2

Bro...
That's going to be the storyline for the season one cliffhanger

If Gov Cuomo can get an Emmy for sexual harassment while killing people's grandmas with his COVID policy then I ought to get at least two or three of those little statues once I can find somebody to greenlight my scripts.
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Old 11-25-2021, 11:42   #22
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I'm likin' it.

You'll need a slightly hunched over FOG in a tweed British driving cap to run the newstand across the street. Someone not in every episode but just enough to be expected as the team wends their way to the next Routine Crime, on a cold day, with exhaled breath visible because "No Mask." Just a thought.
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Old 11-27-2021, 00:42   #23
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"The Wise Old Guy That Runs The News Stand" is one of my favorite tropes...


The scene fades in and slowly focuses on Special Agent Lesko Brandon. Brandon is sitting at his computer, filling out his report on the routine crime investigation he has been working on. It seems some right-wing extremists had been trespassing at a local PTA meeting and spreading wildly fabricated misinformation about the dangerous subject matter being taught to young children at a public school.
When confronted by local law enforcement, these two domestic terrorists claimed to be "concerned parents" which set off the school automated domestic threat warning system.

Thankfully, the school's automated domestic threat warning system is constantly monitored by Fakebook-Meta, Twister, and Gargle citizen security system collaboration network and that's when the call was put in.

Lesko Brandon was on the scene in moments. In a flash, this pair of "alleged" parents were filled full of sharp pointy Tazer prongs as Special Agent Lesko Brandon forced them to ride the lightning with two quick shots to each of the dissidents.

That's when things got crazy. In addition to the commotion at the PTA meeting, the gentle old man in the tweed British driving cap that ran the newsstand across the street started having a heart attack.
It was chaos - an old man with a heart attack and two alleged parents twitching violently from an acute overdose of Axon-X26 that caused

The calls went out "we need a doctor"
"is there a doctor nearby"
"Somebody call a doctor"

Luckily, Lesko's wife was nearby - because she had been helping him with his report...
"I'm Doctor Gail Brandon, I have a PHD in education, how can I help"

Quick, this guy is having a heart attack and those two people have myocarditis and life-threatening cardiac arrhythmias from the two shots your husband just forced on them - can you help?

Of course, I can help you, idiot, I'm Doctor Gail Brandon - PHD in education - 1 plus 1 plus 1 is three patients you moron - all you had to do was follow the science.
You have three patients - next time dont waste my time - and stop calling me ma'am. I am a fucking Dokter.
...and those two are not fucked up because of the shots from my husband - they are dangerous extremists that were doing their own critical thinking - now, somebody call my publiciists STAT.



Fade Out - Roll Credits
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Last edited by Box; 11-27-2021 at 00:46.
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Old 11-27-2021, 06:17   #24
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Incredible….it’s like a roller coaster of emotions. I really think you have a hit series here.
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Old 11-27-2021, 06:43   #25
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Quote:
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Fade Out - Roll Credits
Likin' it.

Don't give the audience the tip-off that it's not resolved in a single episode. They can always surmise that when, 10 minutes before top of the hour, there is no Deus ex Machina coming on board and they'll start flippin' the remote. Naw, drag 'em right up to the end like a Cavuto segue to The Five.
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Old 11-27-2021, 12:48   #26
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Damn. As a marketing professional, I see dollar signs. I see the merchandising tie-ins, the action figures, the games, the toy tasers and badges, and the DIY guides to starting and funding your own science programs, building your own domestic threat detectors, and even one on "securing" voting machines. A whole series: SJW Projects for Dummies.

S.
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Old 11-27-2021, 14:01   #27
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I'm going to start talking with the MacDonalds people about having a Special Agent Lesko Brandon NASCAR toy as a freebie in the gluten-free-vegan-friendly chicken nugget Happy Meals.
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Old 11-27-2021, 21:12   #28
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I'm going to start talking with the MacDonalds people about having a Special Agent Lesko Brandon® NASCAR toy as a freebie in the gluten-free-vegan-friendly chicken nugget Happy Meals.
Fixed.

Gold!
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The coin paid to enforce words on parchment is blood; tyrants will not be stopped with anything less dear. - QP Peregrino

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Old 11-30-2021, 08:08   #29
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I'm going to start talking with the MacDonalds people about having a Special Agent Lesko Brandon NASCAR toy as a freebie in the gluten-free-vegan-friendly chicken nugget Happy Meals.
They’re called “vegrahms “. Chicken nuggets Implies there was somehow a chicken involved. Even a bird brained dietician making up the ingredients is grounds for picketing DC and lawsuits for insulting veganites everywhere. Those poor chickens.

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Old 11-30-2021, 14:12   #30
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They’re called “vegrahms “. Chicken nuggets Implies there was somehow a chicken involved. Even a bird brained dietician making up the ingredients is grounds for picketing DC and lawsuits for insulting veganites everywhere. Those poor chickens.

G2
I apologize for posting what was obviously confusing content. Keep in mind, McDonalds is a publicly traded company (MCD on the New York Stock Exchange) and I would never...
...ever
...ever ever ever
...be so bold as to misrepresent their products.

I believe it was the Joker that once said, "never rub another mans rhubarb" Now, I dont really know what that means - but it sounds like some cold blooded shit, so I just like repeating it every now and again.

Anyway - the McDonalds Chicken McNugget is a trade name and not meant to make a statement about the meat content of the actual product. Keep in mind, I did not represent any deal between my self and that great company - I only suggested that I might talk to them in the future once my show gets off the ground and Special Agent Lesko Brandon has become a household name.

I don't want to be exclusive either. Its true that sugar free low fat vegan friendly diet nuggets devoid of gluten are the wave of the future - for now - they do still have trace amounts of delicious all natural boneless white meat chicken.
...but if you prefer to downplay the meat aspect of what will someday be known as Lesko Brandons go-to fast food - these small but delicious boot, bell, ball, and bow tie shaped treats provide a taste, texture, and dip-ability that you will find in no other nugget at any price. The only way they could taste any better is if they were smoked over a beech wood fire (but I think those beer-dudes with the big ass delivery horses already own all of the beech wood)

If you are dead set on removing the chicken - don't worry - Lesko Brandons favorite snack also has healthy portions of water, salt, yeast extract, wheat starch, safflower oil, lemon juice solids, dextrose, sodium phosphates, bleached wheat flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid, yellow corn flour, baking soda, sodium acid pyrophosphate, sodium aluminum phosphate, monocalcium phosphate, calcium lactate, corn starch, and a special blend of natural flavors and spices all cooked up in a delightful bath of a boiling mixture of canola oil, corn oil, soybean oil, hydrogenated soybean oil and just a pinch of citric acid as a preservative.
...if you cant make a meal out of that list of ingredients - well - then theres just no pleasing you.

Now, I don't know much about running a fast food joint - but I know that Lesko Brandon likes fast food - he LOVES ice cream (which oddly is hard to get at Mcdonadls because the fucking machine is always out of order) - and he likes dealing with DC protestors and lawsuits. Special Agent Lesko Brandon is afraid of none of these things. In fact, he farts in your general direction - its even been said that he farts in the presence of royalty because, C'Mon Man - he's Lesko Brandon.

Lesko Brandon - coming to a streaming service near you just as soon as we get past these next few scamdemic variants.
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Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

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Last edited by Box; 11-30-2021 at 14:17.
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