11-11-2004, 13:29
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#1
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 20,929
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Seriously stupid question.....
While in Kuwait I was tasked to assist the State Dept Dip Security guys guard the American Ambassador. We went everywhere, the mission was going well and then one of the Dip Security guys informs me that a “CODEL” was on the way to our location. So I asked “What’s a CODEL?” He replied; “That would be an abbreviation for a “Congressional Delegation”, a bunch of US Senators, Congressmen/women and a mix of VIP’s. They’re coming to have a look see for themselves.” “OK” I answered.
CODEL arrives, 50-75 senators, congressmen, VIP’s etc. The Ambassador takes them to see raging oil well fires, a couple of Iraqi torture houses and the “Highway of Death”.
All goes well until we arrive at the highway. The Ambassador is on the first bus speaking with the politicians, we arrived a few minutes ahead of them.
As they come to a stop on the highway all were told:
“DO NOT LEAVE THE HARDTOP, there is unexploded ordinance laying everywhere!!!”
The idiots leave the bus and head directly for the first Iraqi tank they see, which is off the hardtop. We now have 90% of these dickheads walking around in the sand with loaded enemy weapons lying all over the place, hand grenades, mines, mortar shells, charge bags, etc. The only thing that was picked up before the CODEL arrived was the dead bodies.
I’m standing at the entrance to the bus, staying close to the Ambassador when this congress woman steps off the bus, walks over to me, points to the side of the road and asks;
“Soldier, are those Bombs? (Stupid question, see picture)
“Yes Ma’am, those would be what you would consider “Bombs.”
“Soldier, if one of those were to explode right now what do you think would happen?
“Well ma’am, depending on just which one exploded I’d say that everything within 30 meters would be dead and most within 50m would be gravely injured and that if just one were to explode. Given the close proximity of the shells and what looks to be fuses on some of the artillery shells I’d guess if one were to detonate that it would cause a sympathetic detonation of a few other shells close by and ensuing explosion would kill everything within 200 meters of this location.”
She didn’t say a word, she turned and got back on the bus.
TS
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Team Sergeant is offline
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11-11-2004, 13:55
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#2
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: OCONUS...again
Posts: 4,702
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I have asked some stupid ones....
Which lead to a "smoke" session from hell, especially from the FOGs. 
I did have someone that was "vertically challenged" tell me...
"I have more runs than anyone in-country"! 
__________________
“It is better to have sheep led by a lion than lions led by a sheep.”
-DE OPPRESSO LIBER-
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Guy is offline
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11-11-2004, 13:58
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#3
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: LA
Posts: 1,653
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"Are those bombs?" LOL
Great story TS.
__________________
Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon and he made his web gear. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home.
He knows only The Cause.
Still want to quit?
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NousDefionsDoc is offline
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11-11-2004, 14:13
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#4
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland
Posts: 24,780
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Guy
Which lead to a "smoke" session from hell, especially from the FOGs.
I did have someone that was "vertically challenged" tell me...
"I have more runs than anyone in-country"! |
Did you ask him which one he lost his legs on? 
TR
__________________
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - President Theodore Roosevelt, 1910
De Oppresso Liber 01/20/2025
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The Reaper is offline
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11-11-2004, 14:32
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#5
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Guerrilla Chief
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Vancouver (Not BC), Washington (Not DC)
Posts: 505
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2nd Lt. Redhead looking at a column of tanks passing our trucks heading into Kuwait:
"Sgt, are those M1's or Abrams?"
"Those would be M60's Sir."
"They any good?"
"They're better than this truck, Sir."
"Sir, that backblast wrecked the 77. I sent Reddish down to the commo truck to pick up a new one."
"Alright, get me the Company Commander on the line, he's not going to be happy about this... what are you doing?"
"I'm fixing to use this air panel to send semiphore till Reddish gets back"
"Do you ever take a break from kicking me in shins Sgt?"
"Would you prefer I kicked you somewhere else, Sir?"
"No Sgt, the shins will be fine, consider me recalibrated."
"Aye Sir."
The day we get back to Saudi Arabia from Kuwait I get instructions from the 1st Sgt to collect all unexpended ammo and do a shakedown. I set up 4 ponchos in front of the platoon area and each squad starts dumping ammo. Just then, the XO comes walking up:
"Sgt, you're collecting up the unexpended ammo here?"
He could tell by the look on my face I was fighting NOT to respond with sarcasm. He says "Roger that Sgt" and walks off.
We have a huge football game the next day. This game evolved into something else later on, but at this point, it's 1st Platoon -v- 3rd Platoon. Up walks one of the Mario Brothers (This guy was Marios spitting image, just wearing BDU's instead of a painters outfit) "You guys playing some football?"
We're about to go on a force march. I've got an 81 tube strapped to my pack. Up comes Cpl. Porkchop: "You gonna carry that on the hump Sgt?"
"No, I just wanted to knock people over in the hallway with it, I'm gonna leave it here when we step off."
We're on Oahu, planning a raid on the island of Molokai.
Sgt. Dumbass looks at me and says "We gonna take Helos?"
"No, we're gonna swim across the Molokai channel"
"That's like 30 miles!"
"You're fucking kidding me, right?"
"Uh, yeah, kidding."
__________________
"How can a pacifist, tolerant anti-violence, anti-hunting, anti Second Amendment, anti-self-defense group turn to violence against a party that is pro- all of that?" - The Reaper, 11Oct04 14:42hrs
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Bravo1-3 is offline
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11-11-2004, 15:07
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#6
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Area Commander
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Midwest
Posts: 7,107
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Great stories Gentlemen, this is still one of my favorite forums.
__________________
My Heroes wear camouflage.
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Gypsy is offline
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11-20-2004, 18:44
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#7
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BANNED USER
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 368
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Great stories.
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Sigi is offline
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