Go Back   Professional Soldiers ® > At Ease > The Comedy Zone

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-01-2021, 16:03   #31
Old Dog New Trick
Quiet Professional
 
Old Dog New Trick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Just above the flood plain in Southern Texas
Posts: 3,569
I’ll be looking forward to the episode where Agent Lesko Brandon has to impersonate a long haul truck driver to catch rogue union line breakers responsible for empty shelves without Elf’s and backed ports of entry in California!

Surely a two part series with a shower scene at the Flying “J” in Norman OK.
__________________
You only live once; live well. Have no regrets when the end happens!

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” (Sir Edmund Burke)
Old Dog New Trick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2021, 17:55   #32
Badger52
Area Commander
 
Badger52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western WI
Posts: 6,307
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Dog New Trick View Post
Surely a two part series with a shower scene at the Flying “J” in Norman OK.
You had to go there.....
__________________
"Civil Wars don't start when a few guys hunt down a specific bastard. Civil Wars start when many guys hunt down the nearest bastards."

The coin paid to enforce words on parchment is blood; tyrants will not be stopped with anything less dear. - QP Peregrino

You don't want to be someone we remember. - anonymous
Badger52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2021, 23:02   #33
Box
Quiet Professional
 
Box's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: NC
Posts: 5,331
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Dog New Trick View Post
I’ll be looking forward to the episode where Agent Lesko Brandon has to impersonate a long haul truck driver to catch rogue union line breakers responsible for empty shelves without Elf’s and backed ports of entry in California!

Surely a two part series with a shower scene at the Flying “J” in Norman OK.

Lets keep it real - we can still do your shower scene - sounds freaky and makes me wonder what kind of web content you have been consuming - but whatever - instead of a supply chain storyline - we can just have Lesko Brandon investigating rebate fraud with his drug-addict son as the bag man. His derelict son will spend the entire episode two steps ahead of his dad while constantly referring to Lesko Brandon as "the big guy"
__________________
Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

"Make sure your own mask is secure before assisting others"
-Airplane Safety Briefing
Box is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2021, 01:08   #34
Penn
Area Commander
 
Penn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,251
We are enjoying the "Thread of the the year". as the content and wit incorporates all our social dysfunction, attacking it with humor and brilliant wit.

"Lesko", alone is worthy of a National campaign.

Kudo's Box!!!!!!
Penn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2021, 07:40   #35
Box
Quiet Professional
 
Box's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: NC
Posts: 5,331
You jokers aint seen nothing yet...

Detective Box and Special Agent Lesko Brandon are about to team up to solve one of the most routine crimes that this city has seen since Ronald Reagan's despicable public assault on Walter Mondale.
__________________
Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

"Make sure your own mask is secure before assisting others"
-Airplane Safety Briefing
Box is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2021, 09:56   #36
Trapper John
Quiet Professional
 
Trapper John's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Posts: 3,792
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Dog New Trick View Post
I’ll be looking forward to the episode where Agent Lesko Brandon has to impersonate a long haul truck driver to catch rogue union line breakers responsible for empty shelves without Elf’s and backed ports of entry in California!

Surely a two part series with a shower scene at the Flying “J” in Norman OK.
Brilliant! Gotta have homosexual references or outright sex if ya want a chance for Netflix to pick up the series.
__________________
Honor Above All Else
Trapper John is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2021, 11:25   #37
Box
Quiet Professional
 
Box's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: NC
Posts: 5,331
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trapper John View Post
Brilliant! Gotta have homosexual references or outright sex if ya want a chance for Netflix to pick up the series.
Have you not been paying attention? We have an entire story line focused on the struggles with alcohol, drug addiction, hookers, alcohol, and more drugs that Lesko Brandons son has been saddled with for his entire adult life. Cap that off with an illicit affair with his dead brothers widow and Netflix is going to be beating a path to my agents mid-town rent controlled apartment to try and wet their beak on this one.

Bro, if you want sex, drugs, rock, more drugs, alcohol, corruption, and roll...
...you've got it !!!

I've even got a story line that touches on an idiotic woman that sleeps her way into a job and then claws her way to fame by sleeping with more folks while having her handlers pressure a guy that she called a racist into giving her a job.


The mid-season cliff hanger is going to leave you begging for more.
__________________
Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

"Make sure your own mask is secure before assisting others"
-Airplane Safety Briefing
Box is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2021, 16:53   #38
Badger52
Area Commander
 
Badger52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western WI
Posts: 6,307
Quote:
Originally Posted by Box View Post
I've even got a story line that touches on an idiotic woman that sleeps her way into a job and then claws her way to fame by sleeping with more folks while having her handlers pressure a guy that she called a racist into giving her a job.
"What gay adventure lies ahead? Brother, this trip is gonna make LSD look like aspirin."
__________________
"Civil Wars don't start when a few guys hunt down a specific bastard. Civil Wars start when many guys hunt down the nearest bastards."

The coin paid to enforce words on parchment is blood; tyrants will not be stopped with anything less dear. - QP Peregrino

You don't want to be someone we remember. - anonymous
Badger52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2021, 12:44   #39
Box
Quiet Professional
 
Box's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: NC
Posts: 5,331
In the criminal justice system, routine offenses are considered especially tedious. In liberal ran cities, the dedicated detectives who investigate these heinous crimes are members of an entitled squad known as The Routine Crimes Unit.
These are their stories...

Fade in on a dimly lit bodega on the rough side of town at 2 in the morning. The shop keeper is barely able to keep his shop open while his extended family lives in a crappy apartment located on the second floor above his shop.

SHOP KEEPER: Sub sandwiches - on sale - Five dollar foot-longs, baby baby...

CUSTOMER: I only need 6 inches – besides I don’t think I can handle a foot long at 2am. I dont have much money, only the spare change that I fished out of the porta-john but I also have a coupon. The rest of my money was taken away by the oppressive and systemically racist patriarchy when they confiscated all of the weed that I had hidden in the back of my primer gray ’73 Ford Pinto station wagon.


The customer wasn’t hurting anyone – he was only trying to get a sandwich. It was 2am and when you are trying to be the victim of a staged hate crime, you get hungry. The customer had suffered a lifetime of self imposed victimhood and now here he was, wearing his mask like a good citizen – even wearing rubber gloves to prevent the spread of the deadly Simpsons-Virus. (the Simpson virus is also known as the Omicron Persei-8 strain of the Chinese Wuhan Corona Virus)

The customer was about to pay for his sandwich when he decided to see if he could trade his novelty cigarette lighter for a Red Bull and a pack of Peanut M&Ms when a toxic, middle aged, cis-gendered white male sauntered into the bodega...

It’s bad enough that a toxic, middle aged, cis-gendered white male would exercise his privilege by entering a store at this hour when he clearly wasn’t from the neighborhood – this was far more nefarious – this particular toxic, middle aged, cis-gendered white male was not wearing an approved Wuhan Corona Mask.

HE.WAS.NOT.WEARING.HIS.MASK.

The toxic, middle aged, cis-gendered white male had a put a number of items in his basket that seemed quite strange for a toxic, middle aged, cis-gendered white male to be purchasing at 2am.
-a dark colored ski mask
-a TV show script
-a cell phone
-jug of bleach
-a roll of military surplus 550 cord
-a red MASRA (Make America Systemically Racist again) hat
-a three pack of Tropical-Fruit-Bubbalicious


Cut to a wide shot of the RCU squad room – Special Agent Lesko Brandon and Detective Box are surfing EweToob videos and munching on “Sweet & Sour Skittles” when the Chief barges in like his hair was on fire and ass was catchin' - “You Two, we just got a report of a COVID mask protocol violation at the bodega down by North Monroe and West Lanvale. Get rolling – RIGHT NOW

Once on scene at the bodega, Special Agent Lesko Brandon and Detective Box asked all the right questions – they even noticed that the customers novelty cigarette lighter was actually a loaded P-38 pistol. They ran the numbers and sure enough, it had been used in a string of violent murders all over town. The toxic, middle aged, cis-gendered white male must have dropped it while he was putting the Tropical-Fruit-Bubbalicious in his basket.

Tropical-Fruit-Bubbalicious
...did you say Tropical-Fruit-Bubbaliciousn ???
"Yes", said the store owner, "Tropical-Fruit-Bubbalicious"

It couldn’t be – not here
Not now...

Lesko Brandon and Detective Box pulled the security video. There it was. Clear as day – crystal clear - the innocent neighborhood kid following COVID protocol while trying to trade what he thought was a novelty cigarette lighter for some Peanut M&Ms and there on film...
...right behind him
...not wearing a mask

The blood ran ice-cold through the usually brave and courageous detective Box’s red blooded All-American patriotic heart; the color drained form his attractive, ruggedly handsome face..
Lesko Brandon took one look at the face on the screen and shit himself.
...again

They finally had proof – there it was, the face of the Bubble Gum Terrorist.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg No Mask.jpg (110.5 KB, 30 views)
__________________
Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

"Make sure your own mask is secure before assisting others"
-Airplane Safety Briefing

Last edited by Box; 12-07-2021 at 12:58.
Box is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2021, 14:04   #40
Old Dog New Trick
Quiet Professional
 
Old Dog New Trick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Just above the flood plain in Southern Texas
Posts: 3,569
OMG… this is gonna be good… what happens next? (The suspense is killing me!)

[Is it Don Lemonade?]
__________________
You only live once; live well. Have no regrets when the end happens!

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” (Sir Edmund Burke)
Old Dog New Trick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2021, 14:08   #41
Box
Quiet Professional
 
Box's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: NC
Posts: 5,331
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Dog New Trick View Post
OMG… this is gonna be good… what happens next? (The suspense is killing me!)

[Is it Don Lemonade?]

Spoiler Alert...











































...keep going, unless you want it to be a surprise















































No.
__________________
Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

"Make sure your own mask is secure before assisting others"
-Airplane Safety Briefing
Box is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2021, 18:24   #42
Badger52
Area Commander
 
Badger52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western WI
Posts: 6,307
Quote:
Originally Posted by Box View Post
Alles.... They finally had proof
Attached Images
File Type: jpg RCU-episode.jpg (65.9 KB, 31 views)
__________________
"Civil Wars don't start when a few guys hunt down a specific bastard. Civil Wars start when many guys hunt down the nearest bastards."

The coin paid to enforce words on parchment is blood; tyrants will not be stopped with anything less dear. - QP Peregrino

You don't want to be someone we remember. - anonymous
Badger52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-30-2021, 20:00   #43
Box
Quiet Professional
 
Box's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: NC
Posts: 5,331
It was quiet in the squad room at the Routine Crimes Unit - everyone was on pins and needles. The President had just released two Christmas messages...

-One Christmas message to all the good and moral Americans - his beloved countrymen - those that were willing to look the other way while his son laundered money through his wonderful artwork. Most importantly, those that followed the hysterical COVID protocols without question.
-The other to those evil peasants that dared refuse his will; those dirty unwashed anti-vaxxers that refused to worship at the altar of St. Fauci the ones that deserved a cold and bitter winter filled with pain and hardship and pestilence - and DEATH
DIE you vax denial mother fuckers.
...and his message of unity and rebuilding went out to the masses.

Meanwhile, there still seemed to be a few (hundred) democrats in government that were taking bribes and fucking Chinese hooker-spies.

That shit had to stop !!!

The RCU jumped into action. Detective Box tried to set up a surreptitious listening post inside of an old primer-gray 1962 Ford Econoline Van but a legion of CNN employee-sex-offenders kept knocking on the side to see if there was any "candy" inside the van.

What really caught everyone off guard was the new Wuhan-China-Scientist-Investor-Ivy League Professor that had just come...there was on the scene asking a lot of strange questions...
...normally RCU wouldn't go deep undercover to track down evildoers and petty criminals but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Although you have to admit - something just seemed a little off with this new Wuhan Scientist-Investor-Ivy League Professor and Wealthy Chinaman, Resko Blandon - he seemed to show up at the same time that Detective Box's partner left town on vacation.
__________________
Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

"Make sure your own mask is secure before assisting others"
-Airplane Safety Briefing

Last edited by Box; 12-30-2021 at 20:03.
Box is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2022, 07:14   #44
Badger52
Area Commander
 
Badger52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western WI
Posts: 6,307
Was the new Wuhan-China-Scientist-Investor-Ivy League Professor infiltrated as part of the legion of CNN pervs? Are we condemned to not find out until after the Mutual Masturbation Society of Hollywood quit interrupting regular broadcasting with their award shows?
__________________
"Civil Wars don't start when a few guys hunt down a specific bastard. Civil Wars start when many guys hunt down the nearest bastards."

The coin paid to enforce words on parchment is blood; tyrants will not be stopped with anything less dear. - QP Peregrino

You don't want to be someone we remember. - anonymous
Badger52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2022, 13:46   #45
Box
Quiet Professional
 
Box's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: NC
Posts: 5,331
Quote:
Originally Posted by Badger52 View Post
Was the new Wuhan-China-Scientist-Investor-Ivy League Professor infiltrated as part of the legion of CNN pervs?
Resko Blandon is velly velly goood secret agent. He plactice his accent velly velly rong time to get wight. Nobody suspeck he akturee undacuva agent flom Loutine Climes Unit !!!

He know who been naughty and who been nice.
__________________
Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

"Make sure your own mask is secure before assisting others"
-Airplane Safety Briefing
Box is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 13:37.



Copyright 2004-2022 by Professional Soldiers ®
Site Designed, Maintained, & Hosted by Hilliker Technologies