Movie Review: The Wizard of Oz

[Box]

Join me as I review a timeless tale of political deceit.

A nation ruled by an incompetent white male that eagerly maintains his power through illusion and trickery. Follow our strong female leader as she drags three incompetent white males through a dangerous countryside.
-One that makes a living enabling the corrupt agricultural industry by preventing starving birds from eating a few measly kernels of corn.
-Another that spends his life clear cutting our planets forests
-One that dares to call himself “king of the forest”
…all three of which spend their every waking moment complaining about what they DON’T have.

Of course, they are eventually sated when the crooked politician gives them WORTHLESS prizes under the auspices of solving all of their problems.
- The “King of the Forest” gets to enjoy the stolen valor of a medal he didn’t earn while letting the politician assure him that his cowardice is on equal footing with the nations REAL war heroes.
- That same crooked politician gives the lumberjack a shitty two bit alarm clock and suddenly the rusty pile of tree killing tin thinks he is some kind of fucking philosopher.
- Then there’s the Scarecrow. One of the most pompous assholes in American film history. One sheet of rolled up parchment and suddenly he is transformed into every other overpaid overindulged under accomplished elitist college professor in the western world - strutting to and fro across this great land of ours mumbling nonsense out loud just because they think it makes them sound smart…
...“The sum of the square root of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the third side.”

WHAT.THE.FUCK.EVER

Hey, Mr Scarecrow – you DO know that a 10th grade high school student with a public education learns that same bull shit theorem in the first two weeks of introductory geometry.
…you pompous cocksucker.

Forget about all that hard work that Einstein did. Forget about the industrial accomplishments of people like Henry Ford or Nikola Tesla. Here’s a piece of paper Mr Scarecrow, you are now better than everyone else.

Then there is Dorothy. Poor sweet, oppressed, down trodden, misunderstood, Dorothy. The spoiled rotten little bitch that lets her dog run wild - has no respect for her elders – turns her nose at the roof over her head and the clothes on her back – why – because she’s bored.
The strong female lead.

WHAT.THE.FUCK.EVER

Hey Dorothy get down off that fucking fence – before you…
…shit – now someone has to risk their OWN safety to pull you out of the fucking pig sty because you don’t listen.

Completely unprovoked – you drop a fucking house on a woman of color and act like YOU are the victim. Then you follow the advice of a complete stranger and steal the poor dead woman’s shoes right off her damn feet.

…now I don’t want to evoke images of greed and avarice, but how else do you explain taking a dead woman’s ruby slippers and then REFUSING to return them to her family because some rich white cunt with a diamond tiara said it was ok to keep them.

This bitch Glinda seems a lot like Hillary Clinton wielding her power as the Secretary of State. Didn’t really seem to care that Munchkin land was being overrun by evil witches until Dorothy came along. Then Glinda has to rush in and act like shes helping - go ahead, take that dead witches shoes, what difference at this point does it make?

She could have helped Dorothy but she didn’t – she knew that her boss (the wizard) needed Dorothy to go kill that “OTHER” evil witch because that’s how Glinda and the Wizard prosecuted their foreign policy strategy.

WHAT.THE.FUCK.EVER

…and for those that refuse to admit that life imitates art – when Dorothy got fucked up just outside of Oz – that wasn’t because of the opium from the poppies - its because she wasn’t wearing a mask and clearly wasn’t vaccinated.

Then of course we have the monkeys.
FLYING.FUCKING.MONKEYS.
When is it all going to stop? Flying monkeys? Really? Flying monkeys are awesome – but lets not pretend we don’t know what those flying monkeys symbolize…
…amiright?

In the end things all worked out though – the “Wizard” of Oz left office – of course all he did was go back to his former lifestyle – he certainly made no effort to help Dorothy once his balloon took to the skies – and what did he leave behind for the leaderless people of Oz?
…an ignorant band of miscreants armed with little more than a rolled-up piece of paper, a surplus war medal, and a shitty little alarm clock.

But hey – the citizens of Oz obviously don’t ask much of their leaders, so I guess all’s well that ends well

[Roguish Lawyer]

[JJ_BPK]

[mojaveman]

Did you forget the wicked witch of the west? She and the flying monkeys scared the hell out of me.

[Box]

I didnt forget her - she is the family member that was cheated out of her rightful property (the slippers)

NOW GET THIS...

She follows the rules while clearly the evil witch of the north chooses to manipulate dorothy for her own ends. If Glinda had the power, wouldn't she have just "poofed" out the wicked witch?
Instead she endangered Dorothy by sending her on this fools journey when she could have heel clicked Dorothy back home 5 minutes after she landed in Munchkinland. Instead, she opted for proxy warfare against the witch by making dorothy the target - making Dorothy talk to the Wizard - making Dorothy face the witch in combat.

Clearly the Western Witch has powers - she "poofed in" and "poofed out" but elected not to engage Dorothy even though that bitch Glinda was clearly trying to antagonize a confrontation with Dorothy. She could have whacked Dorothy at nearly any point along her journey to get her slippers back but she didn't. Even after Dorothy trespassed in her castle, violated her space, and did so WITH malice - the witch held calm and gave Dorothy a choice.

All she wanted was her fucking shoes back but Dorothy had to escalate - a pawn of the failed diplomatic efforts of an incompetent Wizard and his manipulative co-conspirator that used deceit and trickery instead of showing any type of integrity.

[Penn]

The Writing....
Brilliant!!!!

[Box]

Originally Posted by Penn

The Writing....
Brilliant!!!!

My brother - I didn't write "The Wizard of Oz" - L. Frank Baum wrote it. I'm just a regular guy that intermittently chooses to "reflect" on these little tid-bits of Americana.

For instance, is it just a coincidence that he was born and raised in New York?
Born and raised in "The East" - where he utterly failed in his attempt to become a theater producer and playwright - coincidentally the "Wicked Witch of the East" was the first casualty of the Wizard of Oz.
Just a coincidence.

After failing to find success in New York, he moved to South Dakota - IN THE WEST - where he also failed to find fame and fortune. Is it just a coincidence that the Wicked Witch of the WEST became the next target of his metaphoric assault on the national conscience?
Just a coincidence.

Where did he end up?
Los Angeles is where his house landed. If there was an Emerald City at the end of a Yellow Brick Road at the turn of the 20th Century America - it was LA.

This ain't no disco
It ain't no country club either
This is LA - and all L. Frank Baum wanted to do was have some fun.
...until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard

Maybe I should put together a modern day reboot of the Wizard of Oz - lord only knows that damn 'Rainbow Song' as a theme would be a sensation in 2022 America...
...it will be an epic cinematic production.

[JimP]

Holy shit!!! Box - that was literally genius. No joke.

Great comparison in satire at its highest level!!

May I copy it and send to some friends?

[Box]

While we are at it...
Ponder the line "She fell from a star, she fell VERY far..."
Where are all the stars?
Hollywood.
Hollywood, a neighborhood in Los Angeles - Baums final resting place.

Karine Jean-Pierre:
It really was no miracle; what happened was just this...
-The polls began to switch
-Results, to pitch
-then suddenly our nation started to, unhitch.
-Just then, the Witch
-to satisfy an itch
-went flying off to Taiwan, thumbing for a hitch.

The State Sanctioned Media:
AND OH - WHAT HAPPENED THEN WAS RICH !!!

American Citizens:
-Employment rates did pitch; the dollar took a stitch.
-It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle of a ditch,
-Which caused Kamala's staff to quit their jobs, real quick.

Right Wing Conservative Conspiracy Nut:
Brandon smashed the economy so sweetly, and did it very neatly.
He's killed it so completely, we're suffering so bleakly...

Klaus Schwab and the World Economic Forum:
Let the joyous news be spread, Americas economy at last is dead!