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Old 06-22-2022, 15:01   #1
Box
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Movie Sequels that we don’t need…

Urban Cowboy 2

It’s been 40 years since Buford Uan, and Sissy Davis first tied the knot. They are both pushing 60 and haven’t been to a ‘Honky Tonk’ since the kids were born. The last ten years or so have been rough on the couple. Bud‘s affinity for traditional gender roles has always been the rough spot with his feisty ‘grrrl power’ wife, Sissy but the culture wars of the Obama-Trump era have pushed their relationship to the breaking point. The couples life is a bit topsy turvy after countless liberal attacks on the fossil fuel industry caused the local refinery to shut down. After decades as the family breadwinner – Bud is now out of work and has no other skills to fall back on. Sissy has spent the last 40 years as a social butterfly drifting between countless jobs normally considered “male jobs” but never really found a career that “fit”
…she had to quit her tow truck driving job late in her pregnancy with their first child.
…she briefly worked in construction but kept hurting her shoulder carrying 2x4’s
…she quit her job as a firefighter after hurting her back during her second pregnancy
…Spur High School in Texas fired her from her coaching job when the the "Bulldogs" realized she didn’t know shit about football

Bud finally got rid of his Pick-Up truck during the Obama administrations “Cash for Clunkers” program and now their “Bud” and “Sissy” license plates can be found in the back window of their 2009, 2WD Toyota Tacoma Extended Cab pickup truck. Sissy’s 1967 Mustang was featured on an episode of Motor Trends reality TV show, “Garage Squad” after spending 23 years in the same barn that used to house Uncle Buds mechanical bull but she has already wrecked it twice and burned out the transmission after showing the other wives how her 'Stang can chirp the tires in every gear...

Their oldest daughter, “Rayne” became a climate change activist that protested at her dads refinery until the day it was finally put out of business…
…she left home when he lost his job and has not been in touch with her parents since. It is rumored that she tried to start a community tomato garden on the sidewalk outside of the East Precinct building during the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone protests back in 2020.

Their middle child – Alexa – was assigned male at birth but realized that gender was just a patriarchal social construct and transitioned from Alex to Alexa after realizing it was the only way to place first at a college swim meet.

Their youngest daughter 'Pepper' has purple hair and hasn't said an intelligible word since Trump stole the election from Hillary.

Bud drifts from job to job – never quite able to regain the financial success he had working at the refinery – spending his nights swilling six pack after six pack of Lone Star Beer – wondering how his life would have turned out if he’d stayed with Pam…


...in fact – maybe instead of a sequel, we turn this porridge of fossil fuel, dysfunctional family life, cheap booze, and toxic masculinity into a TV series?
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Last edited by Box; 06-22-2022 at 15:04.
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Old 06-22-2022, 16:20   #2
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I'll start shopping this today, it's amazing!
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Old 06-23-2022, 11:29   #3
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I'll start shopping this today, it's amazing!
I'll kickin $20 for a signed copy of the actual screenplay.
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Old 06-23-2022, 14:09   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Box View Post
Urban Cowboy 2

...in fact – maybe instead of a sequel, we turn this porridge of fossil fuel, dysfunctional family life, cheap booze, and toxic masculinity into a TV series?
Dallas 2.2 ?
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Old 06-27-2022, 08:43   #5
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Possible "working titles?"
Suburban Decay Cowboy
Welcome Back Bud (play on Welcome Back Kotter)
Urban Cow-person
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Old 06-27-2022, 16:10   #6
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Possible "working titles?"
Suburban Decay Cowboy
Welcome Back Bud (play on Welcome Back Kotter)
Urban Cow-person
Cows are female. Stop with the gender bigotry!

Urbane bovine xhe/xhem
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Old 06-27-2022, 19:21   #7
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Cows are female.
You mean creatures who menstruate. Get with the program, you racist, sexist, homophobic, climate denying, seditionist piece of shit!
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Old 06-28-2022, 11:14   #8
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Thats why I write these movies and not the rest of you.

Urban Cowboy 2 is THE.PERFECT. name for a sequel and here is why...

It illustrates the very essence of the toxic male lead and his self aggrandizement...
Urban? Really?
Bud lived in the suburbs like all of the other privileged Texans in the oil industry.
His girlfriend (the one he had when he was cheating on his wife) was from the city, but not Bud
He moved into a trailer out in the suburbs.
Cowboy? Really?
Ole Buford Uan Davis was not a cowboy - he was a poser. He was a toxic male - a cowboy wanna-be that wore cowboy boots and a stetson just to look cool.
...appropriating culture was his thing.
and here he is - part 2 - same guy same excuses

-He's not a tough guy but he pretended to be while hitting a video game punching bag.
-He's a wife beater.
-He's soft; when he was learning how to ride, he cried like a baby that his balls hurt.
-When he got hurt being careless at work he whined like a baby because his wife, WHO ALSO HAS A JOB, wasn't waiting at home to to baby him like he had been hit by a truck.
-In a fit of rage, he forcibly threw his wife out of their home, forcing her to seek refuge with a convicted criminal
-The only reason he beat up Wes Hightower in the climax of the first movie was because he caught him by surprise and sucker punched him and it wasn't long before the bouncer was involved.
-oh, and he's a wife beater.



Bud doesn't deserve a cool sounding sequel title - its just another meaningless sequel being made in the hopes that it can exploit feelings of nostalgia while simultaneously using social metaphors to bash his demographic and escalate those with pink hair and low moral standards.

come on folks - you've got to be better
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Last edited by Box; 06-28-2022 at 11:19.
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Old 06-29-2022, 11:11   #9
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You'll finally win an Oscar...
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Old 06-29-2022, 12:01   #10
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You'll finally win an Oscar...
I prefer the more gender neutral term, "Academy Award"

"0scar" symbolizes the patriarchal roots of film making and the control foisted upon performers by the toxic male administrators of a genre dedicated to the exploitation of underrepresented groups as little more than supporting characters. The statue itself is nothing more than a sexist depiction of a knight - not a maiden - a knight - with his sword...
...yet they try to soften this injustice by calling it a 'statuette' - a symbol of the patriarchy adorned with a weapon of war and a feminine suffix.



but yeah, I think I could finally win it all this time - if not, i'll just steal one and keep it in the basement with my Heisman, Super Bowl Ring, Olympic Gold Medal, Nobel Prize, and Honorary PHD from UC Berkley
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Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

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Last edited by Box; 06-29-2022 at 12:05.
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Old 06-29-2022, 20:01   #11
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but yeah, I think I could finally win it all this time - if not, i'll just steal one and keep it in the basement with my Heisman, Super Bowl Ring, Olympic Gold Medal, Nobel Prize, and Honorary PHD from UC Berkley
DOCTOR Box ! You could be the spouse of a virtual President.
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Old 06-30-2022, 11:17   #12
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Originally Posted by Box View Post
I prefer the more gender neutral term, "Academy Award"

"0scar" symbolizes the patriarchal roots of film making and the control foisted upon performers by the toxic male administrators of a genre dedicated to the exploitation of underrepresented groups as little more than supporting characters. The statue itself is nothing more than a sexist depiction of a knight - not a maiden - a knight - with his sword...
...yet they try to soften this injustice by calling it a 'statuette' - a symbol of the patriarchy adorned with a weapon of war and a feminine suffix.



but yeah, I think I could finally win it all this time - if not, i'll just steal one and keep it in the basement with my Heisman, Super Bowl Ring, Olympic Gold Medal, Nobel Prize, and Honorary PHD from UC Berkley
You need a Grammy...
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