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Old 08-22-2004, 14:03   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Red State
Posts: 3,774
Gunfight Rules


PLEASE NOTE: The reason "Special Forces Rules for Gunfights" is conspicuously absent from the list below is because, "THERE ARE NO KNOWN SPECIAL FORCES RULES IN AND FOR A GUNFIGHT..."

US Marine Corps Rules for Gunfights

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years, nobody will remember the caliber, stance, or tactics.
They will remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating.

Navy SEAL Rules For Gunfights

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Return quickly to looking cool in latest beach wear.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Ranger Rules For Gunfights

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound ruck while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound ruck while starving.

Army Grunt Rules For Gunfights

1. Select a new beret to wear
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear

US Air Force Rules For Gunfights

1. Have a cocktail
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner
3. See what's on HBO
4. Attempt to determine "what is a gunfight"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally
9. Tell the Navy to send the Marines

US Navy Rules For Gunfights

1. Go to Sea
2. Drink Coffee
3. Watch porn
4. Send in the Marines
Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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