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Beware the Ides of March
It's that time of year again people. I feel it is my duty to take up the mantle of Spurinna - beware the Ides of March and the days that follow for you are all in danger. It is this time of year that visits terrible plagues upon mankind...
In 44 BC conspirators stabbed Caesar to death right in front of the Roman Senate
In the 5th Century St Patrick chased all the snakes out of Ireland causing Jameson Whisky to turn green for several days each year.
The clocks are going to mysteriously jump us all an hour into the future
Czar Nicholas abdicated his throne
Germany invaded Czechoslovakia
CBS canceled the Ed Sullivan Show
SARS
Cricket was invented, leading to that age-old question, "Cricket, isn't that just European Baseball?"
Tom Hanks savagely unleashed movies like "Splash" and "The Money Pit" on innocent civilians.
The USA initiated a 2-week lockdown to "flatten the curve" from a deadly virus so horrible that only 99.8 percent of civilization has any hope of survival.
Now, in 2021, Nancy Pelosi thinks that she should have access to Joe Bidens nuclear football...
...you know, because - you know, the thing
This shit just isn't funny anymore.
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Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.
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-Airplane Safety Briefing
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