Old 05-01-2010, 14:25   #16
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T-Rex - squat guy with the biggest chest and shortest arms you ever seen.

Jennifer - guy's last name pronounced like "Biel"

The Thing- guy would hit the tanning bed and come out completely orange (there was an orange Thing doll in the team room) yes, he was an 18D, but he was NOT the biggest tanner on the team...

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Old 05-01-2010, 15:28   #17
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My 4 favorite teams

Steam Crank - Team Sergeant. (Have to keep this PG rated. Let your mind wander.)
Crazy Crane - 1st warrant in 1/7. Absolutely nuts. Didn't drink until he had a 700 foot freefall opening.
Bullet Head - VERY junior weapons guy. Was asked not to come back to New Jersey. Was later a Golden Knight
Bad Moon - Team leader, last name Rising
3D - Medic, it was an El Salvador thing

HALO Willie - Team Sergeant, it just really fit
Tiny (yes, that one). Carried the acetelene tanks on the Son Tay Raid.
Moon Mullens - Sr Comms
Dad - SGM. He asked us not to call him that. Big mistake. Great guy.

Hippy with a Gun - Intel Sgt. Looked like the weasel guy on Human Target.
Pin Head - Medic. Never gave anyone a drug that he didn't test fire himself.
Gadget Man - Had more gadgets than anyone else. They all worked.
Tommy Timefuse (me) - I had a charge that didn't go off once. Never again.
Elmer Fudd - SGM. Looked like Fudd. Pissed him off one day when I answered a question by saying "SHHHHH. Wabbits." Never do that.
Vinny - Team leader from NJ. His father owned a senator. Got him into WP.
Popeye - Could only look at you with one eye at a time. Never sure who he was talking to.
The Human Volcano - Red hair. Worst temper in SF history.
Weasel - He looked like one.
The Floater (Same guy as Weasel). Came into work drunk too many times.
Master Re**y (Ditto) - Redacted so I won't get sued. He was from a rich family. Team sergeant used to say (affecting a butler's accent) "Master Re**y, your bath is drawn."

Wingman - Medic. Was over 6'4". You could stand on the drop zone, watch the team drop from 15 grand, and see this guy. Incredibly long arms and legs.
Captain Scum - Weapons guy. Not a fun drunk.
Corvette Larry - Had a Corvette. It was smarter than he was. When he drove home to South Carolina on the weekends the team sergeant noted that the average IQ of both states went up 10 points.
"If we lose freedom here, there's no place to escape to. This is the last stand on earth."

"If it neither breaks my leg nor picks my pocket, what difference does it make to me?"
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Old 05-01-2010, 15:46   #18
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Originally Posted by Kyobanim View Post
This thread is useless without the stories.
"One Ball" ...as the name implies only had one ball...the other being a victim of testicular cancer.

Favorite "prank" to play on new medics would start with a phone call immediately after lunch...went something like this:

"Had to jump a fence because I locked the keys to the house inside..."

"Caught myself on the fence trying to straddle it...hurts like hell, I think I ruptured something..."

Fresh 18D..."come into the team room and let me take a look"

What follows is left to the imagination as each medic tried in vain to "find" the missing testicle before recommending him to go to Womack.

The best one was a newbie that thought he found it, although it was retracted. I asked calmly if he found it in a mason jar. It took awhile for the color to return to his face.
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Muslim phrase: "Aloha Snackbar!"
English translation: "Draw, Mother-F*cker!""
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Old 05-01-2010, 16:10   #19
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Dozer . . .
seems there was a little rock slide in the mountains near the Red Sea . . .
It's not like anyone was seriously injured. But we didn't like that guy anyway.

Oh right, like it was ME!
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Old 05-03-2010, 11:31   #20
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Originally Posted by 2018commo View Post
CPT Charts, Det CDR couldn't remember his name, everything had to be on a chart for brief-backs
Major Nuisance, CPT Charts got promoted
Colonel Chaos, Major Nuisance got promoted again
Now this is funny..

All of them are great lines.
"Berg Heil"

History teaches that when you become indifferent and lose the will to fight someone who has the will to fight will take over."


Intelligence failures are failures of command [just] as operations failures are command failures.
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Old 05-03-2010, 13:49   #21
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Tolz 1984-5

Opie - Redheaded/freckled Co Cdr
Daddy Duke - Co SGM
Little Big Man - 5' tall ARSOFE Cdr
Dead Ed - Rumored (at Bragg) to have died (at Tolz) but later discovered alive.
Mad Dog - FNG with a fritz the kat type appearance.
Top Gun - Broke a table in the Grafenwoehr "O" club doing carrier landings with the team on "right-arm night". Best Tm Ldr I ever had.
BMO - Worst Tm Ldr, followed Top Gun, came from 151 Inf. where he had been the BMO. Initially refused the code name, Tm Sgt gave him the alternative of "F**k wad, decided BMO was better. Failed Rgr Crs 3 times!! Eventually rif'd.

Last edited by MVP; 05-04-2010 at 09:05.
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Old 05-03-2010, 14:50   #22
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Some Names I Recall.

Crying Mike.

Many More.
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Old 05-08-2010, 05:49   #23
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Team Mike

My first tour to Iraq our SOT-A team was whored out all across northern Iraq. Hard to remember people's names as it is and we had 2 Mikes on our 4 man team (5 counting terp), so we became team Mike.

Other Mike
Abu Mike
Mocha Mike
Not Mike
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Old 06-07-2010, 02:38   #24
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Some of my guys

Hobo Billy-When we hit the field he looked like a homeless guy.

Horse- Jr 18C; He was as strong as a draft horse, as quick as a quarter horse, but was about as dumb as a rocking horse.

Sparky- Sr 18C; Random crap just came out of his mouth so when he actually said something intelligent we said his wires must have actually crossed.

Juicy- Team Leader; Though he denied it, he was built like a brick house and must have been hitting the "juice."

Double D- His initials just worked out that way.

TJ- Walked in the team room and said his name was Troy. We already had a Troy so he was named Troy Jr. It got shortened to TJ.

Delta Uno or Master Bravo- Tm Sgt only had one nut and spent most of his career in 7th SFG so to make him feel better we threw a little spanish in there. The Master Bravo started as an internal joke when we called him 'MB.' He thought it meant My Buddy but told hum Master Bravo because he was always critiquing the 18B's. it actually meant My Bitch.

Last edited by Gimp; 06-07-2010 at 02:49.
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Old 06-07-2010, 10:25   #25
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5th SFG(A) mid '80s

Badge Bob or Boyscout Bob - A Bn XO who attended many different schools and proudly wore all of the badges on his OG-107s.

Elvis - A Bn CSM who bore a strong resemblence to the late star. Used to wear his borderline unregulation black hair in a large pomp.

One ball Willy - A Co SGM who lost part of his anatomy in Viet Nam.

Pappy J. - An old Group S-3 SGM who when in civies always wore large suspenders and was a murderer on a pool table.

Duran Duran - An 18A who had a last name that was very similiar to a name used by an '80s pop group.

Ernie - An African-American S-4 senior NCO who shaved his head and looked a lot like professional boxer Ernie Shavers.

Stickman - A senior 18E who was tall and extremely skinny. Was a very good commo man by the way.

Cheech - A Mexican-American senior 18B who looked like commedian Cheech Marin.

Last edited by mojaveman; 07-02-2011 at 22:30. Reason: Clarification
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Old 06-07-2010, 10:50   #26
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Hostage Bob - 18E who fabricated a story ( for non-SF folks) about being one of the Iranian Hostage Crisis hostages. Suffered other real delusions, Tm Sgt broke his Randall between the legs of a generator one night in the field while he slept as a precautionary measure. Said 18E found it the next day and was convinced it just exploded. BTW: Randall could not figure out how the knife broke so they replaced it at no cost.
Grand Mufti - Black 18D that often wore a Fez he brought back from one of the Lebannon MTTs.

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Old 06-07-2010, 16:41   #27
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Callsigns/ Hollywoods/ Nicknames/ Jokes that just STUCK

We had two Dougs: the TL and our D. So, it ended up being Daiwee and F'ing Doug (and he earned it...love ya' brah!)

Dirk (honeslty, I have no idea how the hell he got it...can't recall much of that timeframe, but it involved at least three chicks...maybe a chicken?)

Dirk Dean (same guy, he also looked a lot like James Dean...see comment above about 3 chicks...GOD BLESS YA')

Too Kool (My first, and best, Warrant...nothing seemed to rattle him and he was the only one who could calm me down)

Duckman (same Warrant, cool on top and working like hell below. Again, a SOLID DUDE)

Jersey Mike (My CPT from Jersey. "you from Jersey?...What exit?" RIP Brother

Heavy D (Medic, BIG M F'r...funny as hell too. You should see his Zarquawi impersonation!)

Mongo (buddy from another Team, from LA meaning Lower Alabama, he was just soo refined with his vernacular skills and the ladies...)

OgRe (jackass, hard headed, egotisitical fucker who never quit anything...regardless of how bad it hurt or what the bouncers or police or her father said...oh, that was me)

Grizzly (if you're gonna be a bear, be a grizzly. Came from too much damned 151 that we mixed with water to make it last longer...long damend night)

T-Bone (won't go there on this board, probably going to get this deleted anyway due to my incredible linguistic talents)

Cumcatcher (short dude that I wasn't fond of, had a lot of quit in him that wouldn't wash off so I fired him.)

SERE School Honor Grad (kid who gave up on the pool deck in Pre-SCUBA, couldn't even do one flutter kick in cadence...okay, he had pneumonia big deal)

There are many more, but I am unable to recall the correct story...MTF
Be without fear in the face of your enemies.
Be brave and upright so that God may love thee.
Speak the truth always, even if it means your death.
Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong.

(One of the many Knight's Oaths written in books, from back when combat was personal)
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Old 08-17-2010, 14:26   #28
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Pigpen- Demo guy, came in covered with mud after working on the road between Pak Chong and Camp Nong Takoo in Thailand.

Cannonball- Fellow commo man who loved the song 'Wabash Cannonball'

Tough Tommy- Demo guy, became a warrant

Big Jim- Medic who was a lumber jack before SF

Red Cloud- Tall Red headed Medic

Big Jelly- After the hitman in the book "The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight"
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Old 08-17-2010, 21:48   #29
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Originally Posted by Gimp View Post
Hobo Billy-When we hit the field he looked like a homeless guy.

this is patently untrue

mostly untrue

well, ok, true
Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

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Old 08-17-2010, 23:31   #30
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Barney - Det Cdr whose name was close to that of the Mayberry deputy, and whose deportment was exactly like Deputy Fife's.

Hogleg - Det XO (1Lt) who went to a vehicle during a 'discussion' with some bikers in a Sierra Vista bar for the purpose of retrieving a Colt revolver kept there. Said weapon AD'ed during retrieval. Said vehicle had a Purple Heart and Bronze Star attached soon after - for 'being shot and driving on.'
"I took a different route from most and came into Special Forces..." - Col. Nick Rowe

Last edited by ZonieDiver; 08-17-2010 at 23:38. Reason: Finish
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