Marriage during Q Course?

[Dozer523]

Originally Posted by 1stindoor

My .02 cents. I got married immediately following graduation from language school...by the Justice of the Peace in Dillon, S.C. It was just over a month prior to my "real wedding."

Makes me glad that when I went through the Q Coures it took about 6 months. You got all the extra stuff TDY if you were lucky.
Reading this I keep thinking, "You can't get there from here".

The arguement 'If she loves you she'll wait' is hard to believe when the pipeline is now 2 years.
I'm with Brother 1. Grab your sweetie, and find a JOP. To hell with the family and the ohh la lah.
Now if it turns out your sweetie thinks the wedding is more important then the marriage wellllll. . .
(MRFL is still waiting on the honeymoon I owe her. ISYN. I went to Jordan.)

Originally Posted by 1stindoor

As an aside, my CSM when I asked for leave to go get married, said this to me..."

That's just flat out funny.

[mhaggs]

Originally Posted by Buffalobob

You really do not need the distraction of a wedding during selection and anyone who has been involved in a long wedding planning exercise will tell you that the questions such as silverware, china, exact words of the ceremony etc cannot be handled without your participation and the problem is no matter how tactful you are by phone or email when you choose the flaming yellow and orange tuxedo, there is going to be nuclear warheads launched. All of this is going on when your thought process should be on how many quarts of fluid have you taken in and expended today and how are you going to pass the land nav when you were up all last night with your darling sweetie discussing whether to have the lobster newburg or the braised chicken.

Your only saving grace is that they take all of your electronic gizmos away from you so sweetie pie honey bunch's mother, the dragon of hell, will be calling the first sergeant wanting to know why you are not answering your phone calls.
,
I should take a stick and beat you with if for reminding me of all those painful conversations when I was trying to take final exams so I could graduate with an engineering degree from Alabama.

I do believe, now that I have more life experiences, that redleg danger close is preferable to wedding planning or perhaps they are the same thing.

So 36+ years later, here I sit retired with my wife still working and I have made a meatloaf to bake for our dinner tonight (if she comes home in time) and will zap a couple of potatoes and some green beans.

Thank you for the advise. However, the most disturbing part of this message is the part where you graduate from Alabama .

Its tough to make a life changing decision between a career I will love and a women I love. Choosing may be too hard of a word here but I feel as though I may be trying to reinvent the wheel with a Christmas wedding during selection. I would truly never let myself get over standing before the board at selection explaining to them why I performed inadequately periodically through selection because I was worried about a wedding. HOWEVER, I had my 18x contract well before my fiance came a long. She knows, to the best of her understanding, what she is getting into. She is a very independent women who will be living with her mother after she graduates from Auburn this May. She has spend a good deal of time learning about my career choice and what goes into making a soldier. I truly believe she wants this tab as much as I do. As far as not getting married in December. I would still have at least a year of training. I assumed after the wedding I would have time to make the transition to a married man and get her up to Ft. Bragg over a period of time.

She has also waited to apply for jobs until she knows where I will be and when she will be able to move to get a job in the area. I'm trying my best to make this work. Hope it does...I love them both.

[LongWire]

Originally Posted by mhaggart

She has spend a good deal of time learning about my career choice and what goes into making a soldier. I truly believe she wants this tab as much as I do. As far as not getting married in December. I would still have at least a year of training. I assumed after the wedding I would have time to make the transition to a married man and get her up to Ft. Bragg over a period of time.

She has also waited to apply for jobs until she knows where I will be and when she will be able to move to get a job in the area. I'm trying my best to make this work. Hope it does...I love them both.

At this point she may have a better understanding than you.....But there's a whole lot of assumption being done on your part. Once again you aren't thinking this through very well. You need to have your head on straight so that you may focus on the course. A JOP is probably your best course at least until you know what your schedule is going to be like.....all this being said if you do happen to make it through selection!!!!

If all you want is a Tab, then save yourself some sweat and go buy one. They don't cost that much. Hell I'll send you a used one if you give me the shipping and handling......I've got some spares floating around here somewhere.

[greenberetTFS]

Originally Posted by LongWire

If all you want is a Tab, then save yourself some sweat and go buy one. They don't cost that much. Hell I'll send you a used one if you give me the shipping and handling......I've got some spares floating around here somewhere.

I didn't get a Tab or a Knife when I graduated so if you'll send me "both" I'll pick up the shipping and handling charges...........

Big Teddy

[LongWire]

Originally Posted by greenberetTFS

I didn't get a Tab or a Knife when I graduated so if you'll send me "both"

Teddy, I didn't get no knife either, so you will have to ask one of the newer guys!!!

[Mike]

I did SFTG in 1967.

I recall a bunch of guys who were just married or going to get married.

Memories of that remind me of a smoking nuclear wasteland.
I'm sure some got thru it-surely.

[mhaggs]

Originally Posted by LongWire

At this point she may have a better understanding than you.....But there's a whole lot of assumption being done on your part. Once again you aren't thinking this through very well. You need to have your head on straight so that you may focus on the course. A JOP is probably your best course at least until you know what your schedule is going to be like.....all this being said if you do happen to make it through selection!!!!

If all you want is a Tab, then save yourself some sweat and go buy one. They don't cost that much. Hell I'll send you a used one if you give me the shipping and handling......I've got some spares floating around here somewhere.

I want much more than a tab, I was simply implying she is backing my desires and decisions of SF 100%, she will make an excellent wife whenever we are able to get married, during the Q-Course or not.

And yes I am a "grown ass man," who realizes the experiences and knowledge of the men and women on this board vast surpass mine. Thus my question about marriage, something vary important in any mans life. Who does not ask for advice in situations such as this. Many of you have had careers in SF and will have good advice for me. Much of with is hard to hear. If you don't mind. If you want to add any more bitter posts to this threat just send me a private message, easier to find them, and laugh.

[Buffalobob]

the most disturbing part of this message is the part where you graduate from Alabama

She's from Auburn ( and U of A).

[mhaggs]

She is in fact from Auburn, haha.

[Pete]

Originally Posted by mhaggart

......... If you want to add any more bitter posts to this threat just send me a private message, easier to find them, and laugh.

You asked and we responded. Our responses were based on our experiences - as SF soldiers - married or unmarried men.

You will do what you want after reading our input. 10 years from now you'll be able to give your own input on this subject.

The reason most responses are not PMs is so others who have the same question can search and read. What good is it to search and find your question asked but all the answers are "PM inbound - check your box"?

Keep us updated.

[Richard]

Originally Posted by mhaggart

If you want to add any more bitter posts to this threat just send me a private message, easier to find them, and laugh.

Well, there you have it. I suggest you go bother the chaplain for awhile - he gets paid for politely listening.

We'll be glad to hear how your decisions worked out for you...in about 5 years. Good luck.
__
BT

Richard

[Guy]

Originally Posted by Team Sergeant

There is an upside to getting married while attending the Special Forces Qualification Course, if you get killed in training she collects!

If he's worried about a wedding with what he has ahead him...I bet money he will NOT make it.

FIDO & stay safe.

[1stindoor]

For future reference, this is one of Richard's nicer posts. You'll notice it answered the initial question, offered insight, and offered luck in his chosen path.

Originally Posted by Richard

I was glad to have waited until I was an experienced SF NCO before attempting marriage, something I think had a powerful influence on us being able to anticipate our 36th anniversary this coming August.

However - it's your path, son, and only you can walk it. Good luck.

Couple that with the OP's snide remark

Originally Posted by mhaggart

If you want to add any more bitter posts to this threat just send me a private message, easier to find them, and laugh.

And you get the "Richard" we all have come to know and love

Originally Posted by Richard

Well, there you have it. I suggest you go bother the chaplain for awhile - he gets paid for politely listening.

We'll be glad to hear how your decisions worked out for you...in about 5 years. Good luck.

[LongWire]

Originally Posted by mhaggart

And yes I am a "grown ass man," who realizes the experiences and knowledge of the men and women on this board vast surpass mine. Thus my question about marriage, something vary important in any mans life. Who does not ask for advice in situations such as this. Many of you have had careers in SF and will have good advice for me. Much of with is hard to hear. If you don't mind. If you want to add any more bitter posts to this threat just send me a private message, easier to find them, and laugh.

Gee dude, sorry. Welcome to our board I hope that you enjoy your time spent here and find the accommodations nice. Please feel free to ask if I can do anything for you, I'm here to help. Beer is in the fridge, let me pop the top for you. Pillow fluffy enough? If you count your cards right, my wife will be along shortly to square us both away

Get real Man. Do I come off callous and harsh at times? Yes, I'm in the Army (something you may find enlightening later). You asked and I supplied an answer. I'm working on my 3rd marriage in 20 yrs of service and figured I could add something.

Not that I'm an expert or anything, but I do know a thing or two about planning. I'm not the hottest at that either, but I do know what a shitty one looks like. Your's could use some refining. For instance your's doesn't take into account for the broken neck that you may suffer by crossing Boone's Fork in the dead of night. Walking the aisle may be a little humbling with a neck brace. Could make for a good story too, but what do I know?

I was trying to help. Take the advice or leave it. Makes no difference to me. Good Luck in your endeavors.

Originally Posted by 1stindoor

For future reference, this is one of Richard's nicer posts. You'll notice it answered the initial question, offered insight, and offered luck in his chosen path.

Couple that with the OP's snide remark

And you get the "Richard" we all have come to know and love

Hey, I offered a $100, with an option to bring something nice to the party and a dance with the bride's mom. Ther're both young, he'll figure it out.

Passing thru Elko, NV the other day, I had the most delicious apple pie at a truck stop out on the highway. When it was served, I kindly thanked the waitress and asked, "Have we ever been married before?" She replied, "No, not that I can remember, enjoy the pie." I said, "Yes mam."

Fifteen minutes later, she returned informing me her shift was over and wondered if she could buy me a cup of coffee and sit awhile.

I politely accepted her offer,.....