1996 Possum Killing Champion ...

[Pete]

Originally Posted by Air.177

Is there competitive possum killing now? If so, I may have missed my calling and could be forced to compete in the "Talented Amateur" category

Blake

Blake - that post screams "The Rest Of The Story Is.........."

Better cough it up now before we send some midnight visitors your way.

Pete

OK, I'll bite too,

I went to work at an extra job at Blossom Music Center one night. The concert was going real well with STYX playing their hits. Well, when it got dark we had to go into the woods once in a while to see if anything was going on. We did this because every other concert someone was yelling rape. Only a few were legitimate though. So I am walking around in the far corner where the Cuyahoga Valley National Park hits Blossom on my first round and found nothing going on, but man it is dark back here. It was also a very hot night with a storm approaching from the west. At the time the lightening was only cloud to cloud and was beautiful to say the least. No rain yet. I got off of one of the picnic benches and decided to make my second run back in THAT CORNER of Blossom. As I got to about the 50 yard mark along the fence I heard noise coming from my 1 o'clock position. I am thinking who in the world could have passed me without a flashlight and me not seeing it. Now may I remind you that allot of other thoughts are running through your head with visualizations accompanying these thoughts. So I get closer to the noise and it seems like he is getting closer to me as well. Now I here a noise immediately to my right and this one is coming through the woods at a pretty good clip towards me. I reach down and put my hand on my .45 and am thinking, fellas if you are going to jump me, I am not going down without a fight, but my brain is telling me to run now, RUN DUMBARSE AND DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU'VE REACHED HOME! Just as I reached for the .45 the one running towards me makes contact on my right leg and begins hissing. I try to kick it off, but man this thing is big, big, much bigger that a dog; Jeeeez it must be a bear! I am going to die in the fetal position and it is going to look very bad and my family will have to have what's left of me in a closed casket! My holster was one of those Safariland Type III holster's and I had practiced quite a bit with it so I could be proficent with it. But for some reason it wasn't working now. This one is still hanging on to my leg scratching and biting and the other has joined in and I cannot run because they other goes along with his blood relative and also latches on to my right leg! I shine my light down onto them and they are huge raccoons! I cannot believe I am being attacked by two very large raccoons! Then as I try and run with them hanging on to my right leg they end up tripping me. I am screaming at the top of my lungs; "OFFICER NEEDS ASSISTANCE, OFFICER NEEDS ASSISTANCE NOW, I AM GETTING ATTACKED HERE AND AM ABOUT TO DIE, MULTIPLE ANIMALS ON TOP OF ME!" Finally after what seemed like a very long time I reach back and pulled out my PRC24 and I began to bash them on the head while trying to get up. I must of hit them pretty much right on target because according to the flashlight they let go and were rolling around on their backs making noises. Now, I was faced with a delimma. Should I kill them right now or should I just call it quits and celebrate victory later? I still however couldn't get my .45 out so I did the next best thing and I ran so fast that I ended up right next to my Sergeant about 100 yards away and next to the woman's restroom. I had lost 1 radio (wasn't even turned on!); sheriff's office issue, four keepers, my gunbelt was up around my right side of my chest, my pants were shredded, No bites but allot of scratches, bruises and no more dignity, and I all I wanted to do was take a nap. This Sergeant looks at me and tells me: "Why haven't you checked in yet?" I though about telling him about what had just transpired but thought jeeez, it is only an extra job, only an extra job, now sleep. I went into the security office and told them all my story. I even recieved a medal with a picture of a raccoon with a red circle and slash across the raccoon! What a night.

[82ndtrooper]

Originally Posted by MAB32

OK, I'll bite too,

I went to work at an extra job at Blossom Music Center one night. The concert was going real well with STYX playing their hits. Well, when it got dark we had to go into the woods once in a while to see if anything was going on. We did this because every other concert someone was yelling rape. Only a few were legitimate though. So I am walking around in the far corner where the Cuyahoga Valley National Park hits Blossom on my first round and found nothing going on, but man it is dark back here. It was also a very hot night with a storm approaching from the west. At the time the lightening was only cloud to cloud and was beautiful to say the least. No rain yet. I got off of one of the picnic benches and decided to make my second run back in THAT CORNER of Blossom. As I got to about the 50 yard mark along the fence I heard noise coming from my 1 o'clock position. I am thinking who in the world could have passed me without a flashlight and me not seeing it. Now may I remind you that allot of other thoughts are running through your head with visualizations accompanying these thoughts. So I get closer to the noise and it seems like he is getting closer to me as well. Now I here a noise immediately to my right and this one is coming through the woods at a pretty good clip towards me. I reach down and put my hand on my .45 and am thinking, fellas if you are going to jump me, I am not going down without a fight, but my brain is telling me to run now, RUN DUMBARSE AND DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU'VE REACHED HOME! Just as I reached for the .45 the one running towards me makes contact on my right leg and begins hissing. I try to kick it off, but man this thing is big, big, much bigger that a dog; Jeeeez it must be a bear! I am going to die in the fetal position and it is going to look very bad and my family will have to have what's left of me in a closed casket! My holster was one of those Safariland Type III holster's and I had practiced quite a bit with it so I could be proficent with it. But for some reason it wasn't working now. This one is still hanging on to my leg scratching and biting and the other has joined in and I cannot run because they other goes along with his blood relative and also latches on to my right leg! I shine my light down onto them and they are huge raccoons! I cannot believe I am being attacked by two very large raccoons! Then as I try and run with them hanging on to my right leg they end up tripping me. I am screaming at the top of my lungs; "OFFICER NEEDS ASSISTANCE, OFFICER NEEDS ASSISTANCE NOW, I AM GETTING ATTACKED HERE AND AM ABOUT TO DIE, MULTIPLE ANIMALS ON TOP OF ME!" Finally after what seemed like a very long time I reach back and pulled out my PRC24 and I began to bash them on the head while trying to get up. I must of hit them pretty much right on target because according to the flashlight they let go and were rolling around on their backs making noises. Now, I was faced with a delimma. Should I kill them right now or should I just call it quits and celebrate victory later? I still however couldn't get my .45 out so I did the next best thing and I ran so fast that I ended up right next to my Sergeant about 100 yards away and next to the woman's restroom. I had lost 1 radio (wasn't even turned on!); sheriff's office issue, four keepers, my gunbelt was up around my right side of my chest, my pants were shredded, No bites but allot of scratches, bruises and no more dignity, and I all I wanted to do was take a nap. This Sergeant looks at me and tells me: "Why haven't you checked in yet?" I though about telling him about what had just transpired but thought jeeez, it is only an extra job, only an extra job, now sleep. I went into the security office and told them all my story. I even recieved a medal with a picture of a raccoon with a red circle and slash across the raccoon! What a night.

Reminds me of the movie "Gremlins"

"What's that stuff he's got all over him?"

[PSM]

This is a Possum thread! Get with the program

Pat

[dmgedgoods]

#

[Air.177]

Originally Posted by Pete

Blake - that post screams "The Rest Of The Story Is.........."

Better cough it up now before we send some midnight visitors your way.

Pete

I have killed these infernal beasts with rifles, pistols, shotguns, machetes, knives, shovels, sharp sticks, golf carts, canoe paddles, Pulaskis, pick up trucks, dogs, traps, and possibly even harsh language once.

I abhor possums, I go out of my way to kill them (less and less necessary with increased access to suppressed firearms) even after all of this, I recently caught one of these demon-spawn in a live trap and considered changing my possum killing ways by releasing it unharmed. As soon as I opened the door to the trap and dumped this incredibly stupid animal onto the ground, it rolled over, hissed and bared it's teeth at me and promptly got a face-full of suppressed .22 goodness for it's disrespectful behavior. Basically, My feelings toward possums can be summed up in one statement: I won't tolerate Surliness in a Marsupial.

Possums, Armadillos, and Javalinas; Proof that God loves us and wants us to have reactive targets.

Good times,
blake

[Ambush Master]

Well, since MAB and Air have introduced other "Critters":

A previous Armadillo had been tearing up the back yard and I saw him. Got the BL22 out and loaded it with Calibris (no-gunpowder .22s). I opened the door, stepped outside and Air, his Mom and Siblings all came out onto the Patio. I lit it up with a Surefire and the thing sat upright!!!

I held the light on it and center punched it!! It dropped down on all 4s and CHARGED US!!!! Judy and the kids did a "Keystone Cops" number trying to get inside!!! After they cleared the threshold, I came in and closed the door. That thing then went into a Dillo Dying Ritual where it did BACKFLIP AFTER BACKFLIP on my Patio slinging blood everywhere!!! It looked like an axe murder had taken place in my backyard!!!!

Armadillos!!! Later, I'll post the Javalena Story from the Kingston Ranch days.

Take care.
Martin

Ok,

Here is a possuum story for you.

One night our Yellow Labrador named "Kirby" got me up to use the bathroom at around 2 o'clock in the morning. It was a very hot night in July to say the least. Kirby usually goes then comes back in. Well he decides it is time to play with a tennis shoe of mine that is laying in the middle of my backyard. I am calling him and calling him but he just kept up running to my shoe and got down on his two front legs and just barked and growed at it. So I get my clothes on and sandals and proceeded to yank him by his collar and tell him "NO, bad dog, no bone", now get into the house"! I grab him and as I do I see my tennis shoe move slightly. No big deal, just a hallucination, see them all the time in Northeastern Ohio. Kirby meanwhile sat down behind me a few yards away and he just stared at me as I was turning around to pick my shoe. He had that look that said: "OK, master, Alpha male, dad who is not afraid of anything, etc., etc. Let's see you pick up your tennis shoe". I reached down while still staring at Kirby and immediately felt fur and heard the loudest hiss I have ever heard of. You know how you feel when you get that instant "spike/surge" of adrenalin. Your body wants to move but for a split second you can't until you are done prossessing what just happened. One thing that did work however was my voice and all I could do was scream out loud like a, well, let's just say somewhere high on the scale of a boys choir, little ones at that. Anyways Kirby takes off up through the backyard and up on the deck by the screen door then sits down and starts watching me again this time behind and between the deck rails. An observation here if I may. Seems that Mr. Possie had been playing dead the whole time until I arrived. By that time I guess he had had enough. Time to go to plan B. So when I grabbed him I think I grabbed his dupah and that did it for him. Now by this time my neighbors had turned on their outdoor lights and staring out there windows to see who screamed like a, like a you know. I still to this day cannot believe how many of my neighbors possessd working flashlights. They asked me if I was OK and I stated yes and that I had just stepped in some dog dung and was mad. Hey it worked. But then again you always have a person in your neighborhood who watches all the CSI's and Investigative shows on TV. My neighbor on the left side stated aloud that what I heard was a woman screaming. I told him that was not a woman but this possuum who was mad at me, so go back to slepp and rest your neck! They all went back in their house and started turning off their lights. I grabbed a shovel and began picking him up so that I could direct him back towards the national forest via the "ejection method". I tossed him about 20-30 feet in the right direction and he went into the forest. This happened about a month after the Raccoon incident which was before a bunch of jelly fish attacked me on vacation.

I guess I have some sort of a problem with little animals. Scientifically what would that be called?

[Guy]

Stay safe.

[PSM]

Why’s everyone whacking these little critters? My dog was doing what she was programmed for. I had no problem with them. (My wife jumped out of the hot tub the first time she saw one…but she got better.) I’ve stood inches away and had them hiss at me, but they are not aggressive. They used to eat from my neighbor’s Loquat tree. They would hang about 4 feet from my window while eating and they smack loudly when they chew.

We’ve had tons of Possums trailing back and forth on our fences for over twenty years. It’s interesting to see the mom carrying her clinging babies. Then, when they’re older, leading them along the fence rail.

Eventually she lets them lead her. Often, one of the kids will make a wrong turn and end up on a dead-end fence. The mom will wait behind the little one until it figures out it has to turn around. The moms are patient. I’ve seen them wait over an hour. Now, after a half an hour or so, I’ll go out and entice the youngster to turn around and off they go.

They ain’t cute, I know, but it pretty cool to have wildlife here at the beach. Plus, they taste like chicken!

I’ve got a Falcon hanging around now. Love it!

BTW, I had an Armadillo as a pet when I was six and lived in Beaumont, Texas. It escaped the first chance it got. Not sure what it tasted like.

Pat

[HOLLiS]

Originally Posted by Bill Harsey

I used to try and pick a "kinder- gentler' caliber to relate to the size of the problem causing critter and not wake up the neighbors.
This hasn't always worked out well. Now it's 12 gauge all the time.

Reading here confirms my thinking.

Bill,

It seem up here the possums numbers have dwindled down a lot. I hardly see them eating asphalt any more. Never around by A/O. Raccoons seem to have thinned out a bit. I think we may have a big cat working the A/O.

H.

[dmgedgoods]

#

[RTK]

Originally Posted by MAB32

Ok,
I guess I have some sort of a problem with little animals. Scientifically what would that be called?

Anti-Doolittlism.

[Guy]

Originally Posted by Air.177

I have killed these infernal beasts with rifles, pistols, shotguns, machetes, knives, shovels, sharp sticks, golf carts, canoe paddles, Pulaskis, pick up trucks, dogs, traps, and possibly even harsh language once.

Good times,
blake

You're killin me over here...

Seay safe.

[hunteran]

Originally Posted by Pete

OK, you asked for it.

About 1 1/2 years ago, I might have told it here, I was sitting at my desk working about 2 hours after dark. The wife and kids are upstairs near the back of the house - This was before TS's SureFire Light sale cause my 5 D Cell Mag Light figures into the story.

The wife hollers down the stairs that the dogs are up to something and that I had better take a look. So I pick up the 5 Cell and head out the back door. Yeah, the dogs are raisin' all kinds of heck out in the dark corner of the yard. I go over and they are circling something so I put the light on the spot. It was a big fat possum curled up on it's side, tongue all hangin' out.

I shout up to the women folk that is just a possum and I need and extra set of hands. I glance up at the upper windows and all I can see is eight eyeballs looking over window sills at me - no help from that quarter.

So I come back in, dogs still raisin' heck, get a double plastic bag, shovel and head back to the possum still layin' where I last saw him. So here I am, the dogs still nippin' in and out, possum on the ground and I only have two hands to hold the flashlight, bag and shovel while trying to move the possum. "HEY - I CAN USE SOME HELP DOWN HERE" - eight eyeballs continue to peer over the sills. RATS - never will be any help from that quarter.

So after some juggling I get the shovel under the dead possum and start to lift up, HISSSSSSSSS - that critter wiggled of the shovel with a hisss, all snarly and evil eyed. WHAM - I smacked that dude right on top of the head with the shovel. He was layed out flat on the ground. OK, he's dead, went to pick him up again and danged if he didn't sit up and snap at me and wiggle off the shovel again. Man that shovel travelled a good 270 degree arc as I swung it just as hard as I could from waaaaay back, over my head and smack on top of his head. I swear I heard bones crunch.

This time there was no movement as I loaded him into the plastic bag. Since it was Sunday night I took him around to the green rollout for the mornings pickup. Excitment over the eight eyes came down and wanted the full story.

And that should be the end of the story but.........

The next morning I was taking the last bag of trash out to the can and as I lifted the lid the Possum reared up on top of the trash just like Godzilla and started a hissin' and clawin'. I slamed the lid down right quick and hauled the whole mess to the street.

A couple of hours later I heard the garbage truck comming up the street. So I leaned back and looked out my front window to see what was going to happen. The guy rolled my can up to the back of the truck and went to flip the lid up. As he filled the lid up the Possum leaped up and did the Godzilla thing again. The guy launched into the air and I swear he cleared the top of the truck and landed by the front bumper. The driver is looking at him like he's an idiot, while he is pointing at the back of the truck and jabbering.

They go to the back and dump my neighbors can and then try and use shovels and rakes to knock the Possum off the trash in my can but only knock him off into the bottom of the empty can. By this time the driver just kicks over the can, the Possum rolls out into the street with his head all twisted off to one side, the trash truck moves off and I have to wipe tears from my eyes I'm laughing so hard.

I never did see that Possum again in my back yard.

Right now I have tears streaming down my face I'm laughing so hard.

My only contribution to this thread took place about a year ago. There was a possum eating the catfood. I stepped outside and kicked the thing off the porch with my boots. It was a perfect kick, I couldn't help but yell "Ole!" after seeing it land in the bushes about 20 feet from the porch.