Hell of a Theory

[TOMAHAWK9521]

I searched the site and didn't come across it so I figured you all could probably enjoy reading something funny about higher education.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
engineering mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared
it with colleagues, and the sharing obviously hasn't ceased.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyles Law, (gas
cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So that we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the
world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of
their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth rates and death rates as they
are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two
possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperatures and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So, which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan
during my Freshman year, ".......that it will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I
am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

This student received the only A.


"Inside every older person is a young person wondering 'what the hell
happened?'"

[Cagekicker]

Oh wow, that was a great read. Thanks for sharing that!

Smart as* answer to a smart as* question. Very entertaining.

[PatG473]

Reading that story reminded me of a similar question I was given as an extra credit question during an exam. This is an accurate reproduction I found of it as well as the "answer."

PHILOSOPHY EXAM

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question
final exam after a semester
dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go
when the professor picked up his chair,
plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board,
and said, "Using everything we have learned this semester,
prove that this chair does not exist ."

Fingers flew,
erasers erased,
notebooks were filled in furious fashion.
Some students wrote over 20 pages in one hour,
attempting to refute the existence of the chair.
One member of the class however,
was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later,
when the grades were posted,
the rest of the group wondered
how he could have gotten an "A"
when he had barely written anything at all.
Word soon spread when it was learned
what his answer had been.

His answer had consisted of only two words: --

"What chair?"

[Spartan359]

What chair?

Awesome.

[Divemaster]

Reminds me of something I've heard (but never said, nope, not me!) before: What bargirl?

[29Tudor]

Originally Posted by Broadsword2004

Not sure I get that, how does the answer "What chair?" prove the chair doesn't exist?

He is speaking about his personal reality. If you do not realize something exists than to you it doesn't exist.

For example, yesterday while under my 29 Ford I found a stainless steel bolt laying on the floor of my garage. I have never seen that bolt laying there before nor do I have an recollection of using that bolt in the past.

Therefore until that moment when I found that bolt it did not exist to me because I had no knowledge of its existence.

So by saying "What Chair?" he acknowledges that he does not know which chair the professor is talking about so the chair does not exist in his reality. Hope that helps.

[Saoirse]

Originally Posted by 29Tudor

He is speaking about his personal reality. If you do not realize something exists than to you it doesn't exist.

For example, yesterday while under my 29 Ford I found a stainless steel bolt laying on the floor of my garage. I have never seen that bolt laying there before nor do I have an recollection of using that bolt in the past.

Therefore until that moment when I found that bolt it did not exist to me because I had no knowledge of its existence.

So by saying "What Chair?" he acknowledges that he does not know which chair the professor is talking about so the chair does not exist in his reality. Hope that helps.

29Tudor...great way of explaining it. Reminds me of youngsters who have the belief that if they close their eyes, they are invisible to anyone looking at them; since the youngster cannot see that person, thus the person cannot see them. <shrug> Theories abound!

Tomahawk... haven't seen that one in a long time! Thanks for sharing, I have always loved that one.

[Pete]

Originally Posted by 29Tudor

He is speaking about his personal reality. If you do not realize something exists than to you it doesn't exist.....

To add on to what Tudor said...

To be told to prove why "That chair" does not exist means you have to see the chair and then explain why what you see is not there.

"What chair?"- what a good answer.

[Gypsy]

Originally Posted by Saoirse

Reminds me of youngsters who have the belief that if they close their eyes, they are invisible to anyone looking at them; since the youngster cannot see that person, thus the person cannot see them.

Oh great, I suppose next you're going to tell me there is no Santa.

[Sdiver]

Originally Posted by Gypsy

Oh great, I suppose next you're going to tell me there is no Santa.

Yep....

......he's gone now.