Women's Humor

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Women's Humor


One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of North Carolina."

And they say blondes are dumb...

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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you . . ."

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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.


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He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly. She said - Well, you succeeded.

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He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea . . . you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

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He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror.

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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor.

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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger. Whoosh . . . immediately he turned ninety!!!



Gotta love that fairy!

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AND THE BEST ONE YET . . .



A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:

* She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

* Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

* Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

* Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton