Take my Wife....Please

[Sdiver]

What are some of your favorite one-liners?

Here's some I heard the other day.


My ex-wife is so cold, one year, living in a trailer park in Arizona, during the summer time, she walked in and the furnace kicked on.

My ex-wife is so cold, Her side of the water bed froze.

We used to refer to our water bed as the "Dead Sea".

One time I was making love to my ex. I looked down at her, she looked up at me, and I said, "What...you can't think of anyone else either???"

Her cooking was so bad, the flies in the neighborhood pitched in and fixed the screen door.

She thought the smoke alarm was a timer.

She was so big, one Halloween, she put on a flowered dress, hung a couple of windmill earrings from her ears, and went to the party as Holland.