Tax Return

[BMT (RIP)]

To: Internal Revenue Service
Department of the Treasury
Washington, DC 20001

Enclosed is my 2003 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take
note of the attached article from USA Today archives. In the article, you
will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA
paid $600.00 each for toilet seats.

Please find enclosed in this package four toilet seats (value
$2,400.00) and six hammers (value $1,029.00). This is in payment for my total
tax due of $3,429.00.

Out of a sense of patriotic duty, and to assist in the political
purification of our government, I am also enclosing a 1.5 inch
Phillips head screw, for which HUD duly recorded and approved a purchase value
of $22.00, as my contribution to fulfill the Presidential Election Fund
option on Form 1040.

It has been a pleasure to pay my taxes this year, and I look forward
to paying them again next year in accordance with officially established
government values.

Sincerely,
Another satisfied taxpayer