The Butcher Dance

[Box]

There was once a famous liberal activist that frequently boasted about seeing every single cultural ritual of every single special interest group in the entire world; the death rituals of the Zulu, the birth rituals of the Watusi, break dancing, snake charming, and every ritual in between. With the strategic use of camera drones, this liberal activist was even able to record a private coming-of-age ritual of the infamous North Sentinelese island people.

One day, at a small bar and grill deep in the heart of the Democratic Free People’s Republic of Central Kowlefornya, the activist was boasting about the sprawling list of adventures over a drink of low fat organic free trade mineral water and noticed a teenage child staring intently.

“What can I do for you child?”

"I'll bet you've never seen the Butcher Dance," said the young child.

The activist was curiously amused thinking, “I have seen every cultural trend ever created by humans, but I have never heard of the Butcher Dance.”

"Ok, what is the Butcher Dance?" queried the activist.

"I'll show you tomorrow, but it's gonna cost you big."

"Well, I've got five thousand U.S. dollars in my taxpayer funded travel fund. Will that cover it?"

The child grinned. "You got a deal!"

The next morning, the two set out on their journey. Over the river and through the woods. Deep into the urban jungle they went, through a secret shopping mall hallway, down the winding alleyway, and finally to a place the activist had never seen before.

Beautiful plants and flowers blossomed that existed nowhere else on earth. Indeed the activist was more excited than ever before. As a small group of local citizens began to advance, the child said, "You wait here, I'll go talk to the community organizer."

The child talked to the yuge and foreboding community organizer that was wearing an elaborate purple vagina shaped headdress. The language was too convoluted to follow but it was all for naught - the child returned to the activist, looking despondent...
"I’m so sorry for bringing you all the way here but the community organizer said that citizens just did the Butcher Dance last night and won't do it again for five years because of traditions and more importantly, because of local union labor laws.”

"But I've come all this way," begged the activist, "Can't they do it again?"
"Shhhh! You don't let them hear you say such a thing.," said the child. "You can't do Butcher Dance twice in five years. It will make the neighbors very angry and Union Boss will surely fuck you up!"

So that was it - despondent and miserable, the activist returned home - promising to return in five years' time to see the Butcher Dance.

For the next five years, the activist continued to travel the world on donation money gleaned from charitable donations and non-taxable grant money while living in wonderful, plush hotels, and collecting huge speaking fees from being on the lecture circuit - all the while, telling eager young activists how to start protests, resist arrest, pushing false narratives, and telling lies about all of your competitors. The lifestyle was wonderful but one thing stuck in the activists mind like a misspelled word on an aging politicians battery operated and poorly adjusted teleprompter…
…the Butcher Dance.

Of all the cultural wonders and peacefully conducted fiery protests were just distractions - all the activist could think about was the Butcher Dance. The small child's tale of the Butcher Dance was a mystery – countless hours on social media countless click-bait trips through Wikipedia, and nowhere could any information about the Butcher Dance be found. None of the other activists had even heard of the Butcher Dance.

Finally, after a long five years of waiting, the time arrived. The activist gathered notebooks, extra GoPro cameras, gluten free low fat vegan energy bars, and an extra cell phone to record the Butcher Dance in what was sure to be a Pulitzer Prize winning story. The activist dutifully made his way to the same little bar and grill and popped inside. Sure enough, the young child, now a teenager was waiting patiently.

"You ready to see the Butcher Dance?"

"I feel like I've been waiting my whole life," said the activist.

And so they set off again. Into the dense urban jungle, through the secret shopping mall hallway, down the winding alleyway and finally, as they entered the clearing behind the community center, the community organizer spoke to the young child again.
Grinning from ear to ear, the young guide exclaimed, "We made it! They do the Butcher Dance tonight!"

Feeling like a child again, the activist excitedly got all the equipment set up. Live feeds on every social media platform were set up and microphones to transmit a podcast were all powered up and ready to go. The activist sat quietly in the clearing behind the community center to wait for the main event. One of the locals even brought a healthy vegan protein bar and a recyclable glass bottle of free trade coconut water as refreshments during the Butcher Dance.

Finally, sunset came and the activist slid to the very edge of the seat practically bursting from the excitement. As the moon rose, all of the local citizens gathered around the fire pit, each holding one piece of firewood, freshly smashed from an old wooden pallet. They stacked their wooden slats carefully into a small tower, and the community organizer poured a strange non-petroleum based liquid on the growing pile of wooden slats. Rubbing two sticks together, the community organizer created a spark, and then – POOF - the whole stack of pallet slats was engulfed in flames. The local citizens gathered around. The activist performed one final check of the cameras and podcast equipment to make sure that all of the other activists in the world could witness this greatest discovery in real time. One of the local citizens started playing a snare drum and a high-hat cymbal to start the Butcher Dance, and in unison, all the local citizens extended their left arms toward the fire as the community organizer began to sing...







"You Butcher left arm in, you Butcher left arm out, you Butcher left arm in and you shake it all about..."

[Remington Raidr]

well, that's 60 seconds I will never get back.

[Ret10Echo]

Bill is unimpressed.



Well played Box... Well played

That's luring people in on reputation and dropping "Son of Mask" on them.

[JJ_BPK]

[rsdengler]

Bahaha.....Box, you funny guy you.....

[Box]

Maybe my story was a metaphoric examination of Giraldo Rivera's "The Mystery of Al Capone's Vault" television special - maybe it was just a typical Shaggy Dog story.

I cant remember.