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Old 02-21-2015, 05:43   #1
BMT (RIP)
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Location: Red State
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St. Peter

On their way to the church to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a
fatal car accident. Being good Catholics the young couple find themselves
sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them
into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get
married in Heaven? When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him.

St Peter said "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let
me go find out" and he leaves them sitting at the Gate.

After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat
bedraggled.
"Yes" he informs the couple "I can get you married in Heaven".

"Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering, what if things
don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

"You must be joking" cries St. Peter, red-faced with
frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple".

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted "It just took me three months to find a
priest up here... Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take me to find a
lawyer?"


BMT
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Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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Old 02-21-2015, 09:42   #2
Peregrino
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Now that is funny!
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A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly. But the traitor moves amongst those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself. For the traitor appears not a traitor; he speaks in accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their arguments, he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men. He rots the soul of a nation, he works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of the city, he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A murderer is less to fear.

~ Marcus Tullius Cicero (42B.C)
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