Briefback Contest Winner

**Roguish Lawyer** · 09-28-2009, 17:29

I have decided that the winner of the briefback contest will be determined by a public vote. The poll will be open for seven days only. Your nominees:

Billy L-bach, "Any more questions?"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Billy L-bach

...we did not have an 18b to do the weapons portion of the briefback. So ouor "extra" 18e did the weapons portion (not much to do, basic load, order of march etc etc... nothing that required anything more than basic tactical competence. It was also well known that the boss was known to ask the briefer questions about other MOS's to make sure everyone knew the "plan"

...as we all finished, the boss looked around and decided he wanted to "test" us. (actually the question was nothing short of petty 'trouble shooting' meant to show that he knew how to ask technical questions). So he fingered the guy that briefed the weapons portion and asked him a ridiculously technical commo question... all the while wearing a smug "I got you now" smirk...

...so our 'acting 18b' launched into a technical solution that would have given Bill Gates a migraine headache. The CSM knew the deal and just smiled and looked at the floor, the boss had NO IDEA who he was talking to and proceeded to show us how far open he could hold his mouth in disbelief.

...he didnt ask anymore questions either.

Pete -- "Bayonet 'em"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pete

Our team was nearing the end of a long isolation. Every member knew the plan forwards and backwards. Could rattle all the PACE plans of at the drop of the hat. Snap a pointer on the map and everybody could recite exactly what should be taking place and when.

Ran through the last practice - perfect.

The Boss was known to ask nit-noy questions after the briefback trying to trip members up on their answers. I told the guys "If it was not something covered in the briefback and you can't think of an answer just give any answer, I don't care what it is even if it's "bayonet 'um", we'll back you up."

The Briefback ran without a hitch, perfect, no problems. The Boss taps his pen on his notes, clears his throat and with his first question says to our senior commo "SSG P, what are you going to do with prisoners?"

I'm like "Wow, a softball lob right off the bat" and turn to look at the senior commo......... just in time to see the toilet flush, his face went slack, eyes got a little bigger, mouth flopped a couple of times and then "Bayonet them, Sir!"

The Boss sat back in his seat with a shocked look on his face, the CSM's eyes were rolling around on the ceiling and his hand was over his mouth, all the staff had their faces down looking at the floor and their shoulders were shaking and the AST's eyes were screwed shut.

I jumped in with "Of course Sir, we all know that.........."

The CO's heart just wasn't in the next few questions and he quickly turned it over to the staff which did the "No questions, No questions, No questions", it was over and they walked out.

As soon as the door closed we all said "You idiot" and he was "I knew what the answer was but as soon as he asked it my mind went blank and the only thing I could remember was you saying "bayonet 'um"."

The Reaper, "Romulan Neutral Zone"

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Reaper

This one will not make a lot of sense unless you have actually sat through a briefback and have a working knowledge of '60s television.

Battalion Commander is taking the briefback for a team from our company.

All questions are held till the end of the brief.

Lots of lines and graphics on the one over the world air graphic map. Battalion Commander is studying it during the briefback.

Gets to the question period. BC lets everyone else go first, then he starts. Finishes up with, "CPT W, I only have one more question. I am familiar with most of the markings on the map, the FLOT, the FEBA, PZs, LZs, the PONR. One that I am afraid I am unfamiliar with is the RNZ. Could you explain what that is?"

Detachment Commander says, cool as ice, "Well, Sir, that is the Romulan Neutral Zone. If we cross that, there is going to be big trouble."

Company Commander puts his head in his hands. Everyone else starts staring at the ceiling or the floor. The room is dead quiet. BC stares at the Detachment Commander for a few seconds, and then starts laughing. The staff joins in. Team gets selected for the mission, but the Team Leader gets to visit with the Company Commander first.

Very funny to watch, maybe not to be involved in.

Richard, "Small Unit Queer"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Richard

REFORGER - ISOFAC RAF Sculthorpe, UK - SADM Team Pre-MSN PREP for an Infil into the Schwarzwald.

We were usually short a team member or two and nearly always needed to request a filler. Having gotten tired of it all and seeking a little comic relief, we decided to mess with the BN CDR (LTC Snort), BN CSM (Preacher), and S1 (a candy stripe paper pushing weenie who was always trying to sharpshoot the Teams with his knowledge of ARs and forms).

When questioned by the S1 about personnel, we indicated our need for a 12B (one was TDY to school) and a 96Q (Ninety-Six Kaybeck). The S1 just nodded as he didn't know what a 96Q was and didn't want the colonel to know it - but the BN CDR bit and asked, "What's a Ninety-Six Kaybeck?"

The straight-faced response from our TM SGT - "It's a damn small unit queer, sir. This looks to be a one-way mission, the Army won't allow us to take any women along with us, and we sure as hell can't mingle with the natives 'cause they don't have the proper clearances. And sir, can we get an extra chubby one in case we don't get resupplied and have to resort to cannibalism? I've never seen a Team who can eat as much as these guys."

Silence - everyone looking around the room to see how anyone else was going to react - until the BN CDR finally stated that he thought that just about covered it for the briefback and gave us the 'GO'. After everyone had left, we laughed about it all and the Team was in one of the best moods I ever experienced prior to an infil.

Repercussions - minor ones it turned out - came later.

FWIW - the mission went well, too, and we succeeded where 2 ODAs from the 10th, 1 ODA from the 5th, and 1 SEAL Team from NAVSPECWARGRUTWO had failed.

rltipton, "JD Incident #2"

Quote:

Originally Posted by rltipton

We are in Antigua for our annual MAROPS train-up/certification and it's JD's first time out with the boys. We were launching off Zodiacs 10k out then swimming back in on a budline for one of our certification tasks. We went over safety before we loaded the Zods...nobody had any questions, so we launch. JD said he had done it all in the National Guard....

I got paired off with the new captain at the #3 position on the budline. Tm Sgt tells 1's to go and they jump off the boat, 2's go (Tm Sgt). I wait a few seconds and tell JD to go and we both jump in.

I see the other 4 guys when I come up but no JD. Thank goodness for him that water is clear. I look down and there is JD looking at me from about 5 feet below the surface with his eyes as big as pie plates blowing bubbles out like an idiot probably yelling "HELP!" or something.

I ditched my gear and got to him at about 10 feet down and he almost drowned me and the safety swimmer pulling him up to the boat.

First, he was asked why he did not pop his CO2. It seemed he popped it the day before on the water jump so his harness wouldn't sink and forgot to get a new one.

Next he was asked why his gear was so heavy. He had a bright idea in concept, but the execution could not have been worse. He was out sight-seeing and missed the classes for waterproofing his shit and he missed how to make his gear neutral buoyant. He figured he would double up a trash bag and fill it with cinder blocks (I mean FILL it) and tie it off.

JD's logic:

Cinder blocks = weight = pull down
+
Air in trash bag tied off = balloon = float
=
Neutral buoyant

Then he was asked why he didn't just ditch his gear...it was all tied to him with square knots.

It was a damn good thing it was not a night swim or he may not have made it home from that one. He was bound to his gear and he was going down with it.

I'm just glad we never had to go to combat with that guy.

**Roguish Lawyer** · 09-29-2009, 10:26

Wow, Pete opens with a commanding lead!

**Roguish Lawyer** · 10-01-2009, 15:58

Damn, should we institute the mercy rule?

greenberetTFS · 10-01-2009, 17:17

RL,

What does the winner get?

Just a good old 'Atta boy or a 20 year old bottle of one of your finest California wines like maybe a Far Niente-Chardonnay?

Big Teddy

**Roguish Lawyer** · 10-01-2009, 19:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by greenberetTFS

RL,

What does the winner get?

Just a good old 'Atta boy or a 20 year old bottle of one of your finest California wines like maybe a Far Niente-Chardonnay?

Big Teddy

An NRA t-shirt and some surprise extras which I have not yet selected.

**Roguish Lawyer** · 10-03-2009, 13:45

Poll closes Monday. Pete may have a huge lead, but it is not at all insurmountable.

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

**Roguish Lawyer** · 10-05-2009, 11:09

Poll closes later today, so get those votes in.

Slantwire · 10-05-2009, 12:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roguish Lawyer

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

I thought you were past your pre-med days.

**Roguish Lawyer** · 10-06-2009, 17:17

And Pete wins going away!

Pete, please PM to me the address to which I should mail your prizes.

Richard · 10-06-2009, 17:20

Way to go, Pete!

Richard

Gypsy · 10-06-2009, 18:53

Congrats, Pete!

I really enjoyed all of the briefbacks.

**The Reaper** · 10-06-2009, 20:31

Well done, Pete!

TR

greenberetTFS · 10-07-2009, 15:36

Congrats,Pete ..........

Big Teddy

**Pete** · 10-08-2009, 10:18

Credit must be given where it is due.

I could not have done it without my commo man.

To him belongs the real credit.

ZonieDiver · 10-08-2009, 22:42

Great job, Pete! (But - you have to love that "Romulan Neutral Zone" bit!)