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Only in the US Navy
This might also be the TRUTH!!!!!!!
BMT
P 011503Z JANUARY 04 PSN 740648J31
FM COMNAVSURFORCE SAN DIEGO CA//N001//
TO COMPHIBGRU
NAS KEY WEST FL//90//
NAS BRUNSWICK ME//60//
NAS KEFLAVIK IC//70//
NAS KEFLAVIK IC//50//
CINCLANTFLT NORFOLK VA//N11//
CINCPACFLT PEARL HARBOR HI//N1/N21/N11// ALNAVSURFPAC
ALNAVSURFLANT
NAVAIRWARCENWPNDIV PT MUGU CA//311200E/31410E// NAVORDSAFSECACT INDIAN
HEAD MD//N2//
NAVORDSAFSECACT ESSOLANT NORFOLK VA//N712A// NAMTRAGRU PENSACOLA
FL//2206//
USSTRATCOM OFFUTT AFB NE//J416// BT
UNCLAS
SUBJ/ SAFE WORK PRACTICES IN POTENTIALLY FLAMMABLE ATMOSPHERES//
MSGID/GENADMIN/CNSF/-/MAY// RMKS/
1. A PETTY OFFICER WAS TREATED AT A MILITARY TREATMENT FACILITY (MTF)
AFTER COMPLAINING OF SHORTNESS OF BREATH AFTER WORKING IN AN ENCLOSED
WORKSPACE WITH SEVERAL OTHER PERSONNEL. THE DINING FACILITY HAD SERVED A
MEXICAN MEAL FOR LUNCH, CAUSING SUSPECTED HIGH METHANE AND SULFITE LEVELS
IN THE ATMOSPHERE FROM THE CREW'S FLATULENCE
2. MANY NAVY PERSONNEL WORK IN FACILITIES AND ON SHIPS WHERE FLATULENCE
MAY EXIST, AND, DUE TO MISSION URGENCY, ARE NOT ABLE TO IMMEDIATELY VACATE
THE SPACE SHOULD THE AIR BECOME FOUL. THIS MISHAP SERVES AS A STRONG
REMINDER THAT THE EXPRESSION OF FLATULENCE CAN BE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS IN
THESE AREAS, UNLESS THEY ARE SPECIFICALLY LISTED AS INTRINSICALLY SAFE. THE
NAVY HAS DEVELOPED THE FOLLOWING SAFE WORK PRACTICE TO ADDRESS THIS
PROBLEM: EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, THE PRACTICE OF EXPELLING FLATULENCE,
COMMONLY REFERRED TO AS "FARTING," "BREAKING WIND," OR "PASSING GAS," IS
PROHIBITED ABOARD ALL NAVAL SHIPS, BOATS, VEHICLES, AIRCRAFT, AND SHORE
INSTALLATIONS.
3. THIS REGULATION APPLIES NOT ONLY TO AUDIBLE FLATULENCE, OR INCIDENTS
THAT ARE CLAIMED BY THEIR PERPETRATOR, BUT ALSO TO COVERT EVENTS SUCH AS
"DEADLY WHISPERS," "CHEEK SNEAKERS," "AIR DUSTINGS."
4. UNAUTHORIZED EXPULSION OF FLATULENCE IS TO BE PUNISHED UNDER THE UCMJ.
"HE WHO SMELT IT DEALT IT" IS CONSIDERED SUFFICIENT BASIS FOR PROSECUTION.
"I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GOING TO STINK" OR "I ATE AT THE GALLEY" IS NOT TO BE
ACCEPTED AS AN EXCUSE FOR FAILURE TO CONTROL ONESELF.
5. COMMANDS ARE INSTRUCTED TO ENSURE KNOWN GAS PRODUCING FOODS ARE AVOIDED
AT THE DINING FACILITIES. MEXICAN THEME MEALS, NAVY OR BAKED BEANS, CHILI,
CABBAGE, AND EGG SALAD ARE NO LONGER AUTHORIZED MENU ITEMS.
6. THE LIGHTING OF FLATULENCE WITH ANY TYPE OF OPEN FLAME IS STILL
PROHIBITED.//
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Linear Mode
