10-13-2008, 09:43
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#1
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Quiet Professional (RIP)
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Carriere,Ms.
Posts: 6,922
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Joke for the day......
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'
'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'
The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad, 'says the man.
'Same,' says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'
'Well,' says the man, 'sev eral years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..
The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'
The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'
GB TFS 
__________________
I believe that SF is a 'calling' - not too different from the calling missionaries I know received. I knew instantly that it was for me, and that I would do all I could to achieve it. Most others I know in SF experienced something similar. If, as you say, you HAVE searched and read, and you do not KNOW if this is the path for you --- it is not....
Zonie Diver
SF is a calling and it requires commitment and dedication that the uninitiated will never understand......
Jack Moroney
SFA M-2527, Chapter XXXVII
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greenberetTFS is offline
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10-13-2008, 10:38
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#2
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Area Commander
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posts: 2,760
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Good one, Sir! Thank you.
__________________
Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero
Acronym Key:
MOO: My Opinion Only
YMMV: Your Mileage May Vary
ETF: Exchange Traded Fund
Oil Chart
30 year Treasury Bond
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nmap is offline
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10-13-2008, 12:17
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#3
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Area Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 2,952
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A keeper Amigo!
Thanks.
RF 1
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Red Flag 1 is offline
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10-13-2008, 12:44
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#4
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: America, the Beautiful
Posts: 3,193
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Does anyone else hear the withering sound of "wah wah wah wah ..."
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Warrior-Mentor is offline
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10-13-2008, 13:25
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#5
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Auxiliary
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Yorktown, Virginia
Posts: 77
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Warrior-Mentor
Does anyone else hear the withering sound of "wah wah wah wah ..."
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Now THAT's comedy right there....
(and so true....that's what I heard...)
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LongTabSigO is offline
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10-13-2008, 13:36
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#6
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Guerrilla Chief
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 590
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Outstanding! 
__________________
LOYALTY - HONOR - INTEGRITY
Understand the problem; pull your weight. Appreciate. Be completely honest and trustworthy in all things. - Jeff Cooper
Practice honesty and integrity; rescue the man who has been wronged from the hands of his oppressor; do not exploit the stranger, the orphan, the widow; do no violence; shed no innocent blood in this place. Jer 22:3
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” ~ Edmund Burke
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Rogue is offline
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10-13-2008, 14:05
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#7
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Guerrilla Chief
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 590
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Outstanding!
__________________
LOYALTY - HONOR - INTEGRITY
Understand the problem; pull your weight. Appreciate. Be completely honest and trustworthy in all things. - Jeff Cooper
Practice honesty and integrity; rescue the man who has been wronged from the hands of his oppressor; do not exploit the stranger, the orphan, the widow; do no violence; shed no innocent blood in this place. Jer 22:3
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” ~ Edmund Burke
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Rogue is offline
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10-13-2008, 17:44
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#8
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: OK. Thanking Our Brave Soldiers
Posts: 3,614
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenberetTFS
The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'
The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'
GB TFS |
Sir,
Now that is one I will have to pass on to all my girlfriends...  as We all support Our Brave Soldiers!
(They ALL look hot like Pamela Anderson.)
Well, we blondes do run a tight ship....
Holly
Last edited by echoes; 10-13-2008 at 17:47.
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echoes is offline
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10-14-2008, 05:23
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#9
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Auxiliary
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Yorktown, Virginia
Posts: 77
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Quote:
Originally Posted by echoes
Sir,
Now that is one I will have to pass on to all my girlfriends... as We all support Our Brave Soldiers!
(They ALL look hot like Pamela Anderson.)
Well, we blondes do run a tight ship....
Holly |
This must be said...This thread is worthless without pics...
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LongTabSigO is offline
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10-14-2008, 05:51
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#10
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Sneaking back and forth across the Border
Posts: 6,703
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Quote:
Originally Posted by echoes
Sir,
Now that is one I will have to pass on to all my girlfriends... as We all support Our Brave Soldiers!
( They ALL look hot like Pamela Anderson.)
Well, we blondes do run a tight ship....
Holly |
So is that before a six pack or before? That is a very important detail, Pre drink or not. 
Or was it a Baywatch Pam or a Current Version?
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SF_BHT is offline
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10-14-2008, 09:58
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#11
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Quiet Professional (RIP)
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Carriere,Ms.
Posts: 6,922
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Another joke for today........
Tomato Garden
>> >
>> > An old Italian man lived alone in New Jersey. He
>> wanted to plant his
>> > annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work,
>> as the ground was
>> > hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him,
>> was in prison.
>> > The old man wrote a letter to his son and described
>> his predicament:
>> >
>> > Dear Vincent,
>> > I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I
>> won't be able to plant
>> > my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too
>> old to be digging up
>> > a garden plot. I know if you were here, my troubles
>> would be over. I
>> > know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like
>> in the old days.
>> > Love,Papa
>> >
>> > A few days later he received a letter from his son.
>> >
>> > Dear Pop,
>> > Don't dig up that garden. That's where the
>> bodies are buried.
>> > Love, Vinnie
>> >
>> > At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police
>> arrived and dug up
>> > the entire area without finding any bodies. They
>> apologized to the old
>> > man and left. That same day the old man received
>> another letter from
>> > his son.
>> >
>> > Dear Pop,
>> > Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the
>> best I could do under
>> > the circumstances.
>> > Love you, Vinnie
GB TFS
__________________
I believe that SF is a 'calling' - not too different from the calling missionaries I know received. I knew instantly that it was for me, and that I would do all I could to achieve it. Most others I know in SF experienced something similar. If, as you say, you HAVE searched and read, and you do not KNOW if this is the path for you --- it is not....
Zonie Diver
SF is a calling and it requires commitment and dedication that the uninitiated will never understand......
Jack Moroney
SFA M-2527, Chapter XXXVII
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greenberetTFS is offline
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10-25-2008, 19:22
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#12
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: OK. Thanking Our Brave Soldiers
Posts: 3,614
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SF_BHT
So is that before a six pack or before? That is a very important detail, Pre drink or not.
Or was it a Baywatch Pam or a Current Version? |
Pre-Drink, Sir...and I guess, WTH, After as well! 
Am curious though...
gbTFS,
The Tomato Garden thing I just...don't get?  hmmm.
Holly
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echoes is offline
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10-25-2008, 22:26
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#13
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Black Hills of SD
Posts: 5,945
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Quote:
Originally Posted by echoes
Am curious though...
gbTFS,
The Tomato Garden thing I just...don't get? hmmm.
Holly |
TS, TR, AM, NDD, RL.......
We need one of those "D'oh" smileys for Holly.
__________________
Non Sibi Sed Suis
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It's Good To Be Da King !!!! Just ask NDD !!!!
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Sdiver is offline
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10-26-2008, 17:02
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#14
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Asset
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: G'boro, NC
Posts: 7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by echoes
Pre-Drink, Sir...and I guess, WTH, After as well!
Am curious though...
gbTFS,
The Tomato Garden thing I just...don't get? hmmm.
Holly |
All mail in and out of jail is checked and read by corrections officers to check for gang activity and whatnot. Knowing this, the son who's in jail said the bodies were buried in the garden his old man needed dug up so that authorities would go dig up that garden looking for bodies, in turn leaving the soil fully prepared for the old man to plant his maters
__________________
"Once we were clued into the fact that life is finite, the thought of losing it didn't scare us anymore. The end comes no matter what. The only thing that matters is how you want to go out - on your feet or on your knees" - From a movie, don't remember which one...
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jcwhite2 is offline
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10-26-2008, 17:59
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#15
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: OK. Thanking Our Brave Soldiers
Posts: 3,614
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Gracias!
No special smiley's needed! 
Holly
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echoes is offline
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