Things to remember on your next ER visit.

[Sdiver]

1) Don't tell me that you have abdominal pain as your eating a bag full of Doritos.

2) If you come to the ER by ambulance, the first thing I will ask you is how you're getting home. No, we don't have people on staff to drive you home, and don't tell me you don't want to "bother" one of your family members at this hour. You had NO problem calling 911 for the back pain you've had for the past 3 months, and interrupting MY dinner.

3) You don't get to pick your own IV site. This will irritate the hell outta me, and I will probably miss your IV on purpose and start your site in the place I wanted to initially.....just to prove a point.

4) "Butterfly" is not an IV size. This word signals me to put in a larger sized bore needle......like a 14g.

5) Nausea is not a reason to come to the ER. If you are not even in severs pain, and are not vomiting or pooping your pants in front of me, your butt goes back to the waiting room.

6) How can you have the worst migraine of your life, but are able to yell at me about the wait in the triage, after you just put down the magazine you were reading?

7) Don't ever say things like, "I usually get 4 mg of Dilaqudid." Requesting your med AND dosage will prompt me to squirt out half of the med before I inject, then lie about the dose.

8) If you are allergic to Tylenol, Toradol, and Motrin, I have already assumed you are a drug chaser.

9) If you called 911 to be taken to the hospital, because you have a Doctor's appointment that same day, in the building next door, be rest assured, I will let the RN's and MD's know this, and make sure that they run as many tests on you as long as possible, so that you MISS that appointment.

10) I don't care if you are neighbors with a GI specialist. Unless he drove you to the ER himself, you can't be that friendly.

11) Just because, "My Doctor sent me here", does not mean you get right back to a treatment room. This tells the triage RN, you are a pain in the ass, and your Doctor is pawning you off.

12) The louder you moan/whine, the BIGGER size IV needle you get.

13) Foley catheters cure pseudo-seizures. They also cure intoxicated persons.

14) If you are on more than 2 medicines at home, bring a list. Don't say, "you know, the little white pill". I'm NOT a pharmacist.

15) RN is not synonymous with waiter/waitress.

16) Don't bitch about missing breakfast when I'm on the 9th hour of my 12 hour shift and I haven't had a thing all day, and you're my 7th call.

17) What gives you the right to complain about your sore throat for a week while I have diarrhea from the antibiotics I've been taking for pneumonia?

18) Broken toes are not an emergency. We'll make you feel stupid by putting a little piece of tape down there, then kicking you out.

19) I am currently inventing a trapdoor system in the triage of all local hospitals, to be triggered whenever someone mentions the word "toothache".

20) Cover your mouth when you cough/belch. This is just common courtesy. When you neglect to do this, I am tempted to "rip one of the longest farts" you've ever heard, in the ambulance, and do it again at the ER, then closing the door behind me, and letting the staff know, NOT to go in there for at least 15 minutes.

21) If you tell me you have fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome, know that I'm rolling my eyes and thinking you're a looser.

22) If you list Haldol, Geodon, Xanax, Trazadone, and Wellbutrin as allergies, don't tell me you have NO psych history.

23) When going through triage, never sign in with chest pain because you were too embarrassed to write "penile sores" or "foul smelling discharge". This will piss off the triage RN, that she bumped you ahead of people who are REALLY sick and they'll make your visit a horrific one.

24) Although you've been in the ER 4 times this week, you cannot list any of the ER Doc's as your family physician.

25) DO NOT TALK TO ME WHILE I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TO YOUR LUNGS !!!!!

26) Don't tell me you have no money for medicine, while you have a carton of cigarettes in your purse (next to your cell phone), and each of your 7 children are playing with their own PSP's.

27) Gravida 7, at age 22, means you're a slut.

[Dragbag036]

As I sit here trying to keep my skills up with Moore County EMS, I had to laugh my *** off, with my partner. We just had a walk in to the base because they didn't have money for children's Tylenol, but they smelled like a carton of smokes. Great comedy I'll be passing it along.

Moore County Hips and Hearts...If ACLS ain't your bag, don't get on the truck.

[longrange1947]

Dragbag - Nothing like all night on call and then Saturday morning scoring retest of the Field Shoot. Feel for you man................... Just can't quite reach ya!!

[f50lrrp]

After waiting in the ER waiting room for 5 hours and in the examining room for another 3 hours, what do I, as a stroke victim, say to the doctor when he asks me if I got to the ER in a timely manner?

Mike

[adal]

As a Captain/Paramedic both ground and flight am I allowed to pass this out stapled to the HIPAA form?

LMAO

[Max_Tab]

Obviously you've never been to the Womack ER. I feel no pity for them or anyone associated with them.

[The Reaper]

Originally Posted by Max_Tab

Obviously you've never been to the Womack ER. I feel no pity for them or anyone associated with them.

It is not the Womack ER. The facility is fine.

It is the people "working" there. To most of them, you are just a number, another annoyance, and an interruption to their personal schedule.

Five hours plus to treat a heart attack victim (by life-flighting him to a real hospital), after being delivered by an EMS and IDed by EKG as a heart attack patient.

Another five hours to be seen when I went in with a laceration to my leg that required more than a dozen stitches to close. They took my vitals after an hour of waiting and gave me spare 4x4s to mop up the blood off my leg and the ER floor while I waited. By the time they found a medic to stitch it up, the edges had retracted and it took forever to heal. If they had left a scar like that on one of my kids, I would have kicked someone's ass. The security guard advised me after the first hour to go somewhere else. Next time, I will.

The treatment provided there would drive any civilian hospital into bankruptcy with the lawsuits.

Again, anyone considering a government run health care system should visit a VA or military hospital and seriously consider the implications.

TR

[Shar]

Originally Posted by The Reaper

It is the people "working" there. To most of them, you are just another annoyance and an interruption to their personal schedule.

I've got a MOAA supplemental insurance going all the time and with the exception of being here at Madigan (which is remarkably good except for the pharmacy wait times - but I just ask for a hard scrip and go to Target or have at-home delivery on the unique stuff), I've opted for Tricare Standard and see providers off-base. It's well worth the $60 I pay every quarter to keep the supplemental going to be able to choose where I go and not have to fiddle with referrals, etc. I learned this lesson from my parents. Ironically, my dad retired in the Medical Services branch. It was brought home to me after an exceptionally awful night spent in the Martin Army ER at Benning a few years ago.

I have been very happy with the care we've gotten at Madigan, but I haven't been to the ER yet. Knock on wood.

[jbour13]

Took some research time

Very funny!!!

[Red Flag 1]

There are two side to every coin. For ER staff, 27 is a short list. For the patient, a parallel list runs as well. I feel compelled to relate an experience my partner had @ Base "X". An ER patient was hustled in with "vague non-acute distressing complaints". ER was not busy at 0100hrs. By history the patient had a " complete positive review of systems ". Allergy list filled an 8.5x11.5 page of paper. List of meds presented could not be verified. Every question asked was answered with problems. Workup included extensive labs, CT scans, X-rays, a call to Psych., and any providers name the patient mentioned. By 0700hrs the following morning, there was no clinical need for the patient to be admitted. The patient refused to leave without being admitted. My partner called our commander with his problem. The commander suggested he pick a diagnosis and admitt. Admitting diagnosis was listed as "GOK" ( God Only Knows ). My partner and I both got in trouble over this!

A second case that I recall was @ Plattsburg AFB,NY in the early 70's. I ran the ER there. It was noted that Sunday mornings after Chapel Services, the ER got a bit busy for a few hours with just crap. On occasion I would pull some hours to give the crew a break. One Sunday morning that I was filling in, an active duty member and his family, including wife three children, stopped by the ER. His chief complaint was, " we are going on leave tomorrow. I just want to be sure that my family is OK.". None were seen as patients. My Commander and I were in the Wing Commanders Office @ 0600 Monday. Post Chapel ER visits dropped to zero until I left in DEC 75.

RF 1