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Area Commander
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,484
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True Restaurant tale's, or, you get what you pay for
Sometime ago I hired a young guy fresh from culinary school; which is very unusual for me, but base on his interview, his enthusiasm, and that his pay scale was “I’ll work for free”, I thought why not? So after a few weeks he approaches me and ask if he could use the restaurants kitchen to prepare for an exhibition of cold hor d’ ovures platters. These are culinary shows, and if one places in the top three, it can really enhance and fast track a career. I’m not paying the kid, and closed Sundays, so I say sure, no problem. For four weeks this kid preps, placing and measuring each item, with a ruler, and then marks the spot, on his 3’ X 4’foot mirror. It is beyond mind-numbing!!! In this event, the judges only consider craftsmanship, intent, and visual attractiveness. Finally, on Saturday, after four weeks of this madness, he informs me that the big day is Monday. I wish him well and head home for the weekend. That Monday, I decide to go in early. Figure I’ll give him a hand loading, and a few words of encouragement. I arrive before he does, walk in the kitchen, and one on my two door refers is violently shaking. I’m like WTF, I open the door, an out runs a 35# pig, as it evacs the fridge and its bowels simulitaintiously, I’m in brain lock!!! I have a pig running around my kitchen shitting its ass out …It’s incomprehensible for me. Just then Michael walks through the door…”WTF is this” I’m screaming…as he immediately begins chasing the pig. Michael is 6’2”, 260, shaped like a pear, with thick glasses and a white mans afro. It starts to become comical, my outrage turns to laughter, and I realize it’s too fucking late, it’s done. He finally catches the pig, getting his ass kick and bit in the process and puts it in the employee’s bathroom. I’m laughing but pissed. I ask Michael; “What’s the deal, why is that pig in my restaurant”?
He begins to tell me …don’t you remember, I told you the rules said I had to do a stuffed fresh pig platter for the show” I answer yes I remember, “Well, I got the pig, but I couldn’t kill it, so I thought I freeze it to death in the refrigerator. “What, WTF were you thinking, you can’t freeze a pig in a refrigerator and did you ever hear of a butcher shop….I still don’t know if you can fire someone you’re not paying, but after going into to the bathroom and getting his ass kick some more, he left with that pig in his trunk. I haven’t heard from him since, but every time I eat ribs, I think of that and smile.
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