Duck Hunters

[gunnerjohn]

HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN?
ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING ON THE INCIDENT.

A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 (with monthly payments of $560.00).

He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin . It's mid-winter;
and of course all of the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on
the ice with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the new NAVIGATOR.
They decide they want to make a natural looking open water area for
the ducks to focus on, something for the decoys to float on.
Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck,
is going to take a little more power than the average drill auger can
produce.

So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite
with a short 40 second-fuse.! Now our two Rocket Scientists, afraid
they might slip on the ice while trying to run away after lighting
the fuse (and becoming toast, along with the Navigator), decide on
the following course of action: they light the 40 second fuse; then,
with a mighty thrust, they throw the stick of dynamite as far away as
possible.

Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the NAVIGATOR,
the GUNS, and the DOG..??? Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained
Black Lab used for RETRIEVING; especially things thrown by the owner.
You guessed it: the dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of
speed and grabs the stick of dynamite, with the burning 40-second
fuse, just as it hits the ice.

The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins
in their necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and
holler at the dog to stop. The dog, now apparently cheered on by his
master, keeps coming.

One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun
is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab.
The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, then continues on.
Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really
confused and of course terrified, thinks these two geniuses have gone
insane. The dog takes off to find cover, UNDER the brand new
Navigator.

The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot exhaust pipe on
the truck touches the dog's rear end, he yelps, drops the dynamite
under the truck and takes off after his master.
Then " "" "" "" BOOOOOOOOOOOOM "" "" "" "" ! ! ! !
The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake,
leaving the two idiots standing there with "I can't believe this just happened" looks on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by
illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. And he still
had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments.
The dog is okay. . .doing fine, but probably is looking for a new
home.

And you thought Rednecks only lived in the South.....

[The Reaper]

No shite?

I have actually seen a dog go after an arty simulator I threw, pick it up in his mouth, and take off running with it.

TR

[Spartan359]

HAHA that's awesome.

What happened to the dog TR?

[aricbcool]

http://www.snopes.com/critters/cruelty/dynamite.asp

While we're on the subject though...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsJ9VJlatjc

[The Reaper]

Originally Posted by Spartan359

HAHA that's awesome.

What happened to the dog TR?

He let it go.

Well, we had a family tradition of shooting off fireworks on Christmas Eve. Originally, the family was too poor for fireworks, and fireworks were illegal in North Carolina, so they used the leftover dynamite on the farm. As I understand it, after a little imbibing of homemade whiskey, a short fuse (3-5 seconds) on a quarter stick, taped to a homemade arrow and shot across the highway was very neat, till the homemade bow snapped after the fuse was lit. Then things got exciting.

Well, with evolution and Darwinian selection, we had gotten up to store bought fireworks, which as we all know, are pretty weak these days due to nambyists and lawyers (sorry, RL and AL).

I commented on how much better the issued stuff was, and when challenged, happened to have a leftover artillery simulator in the trunk of my car. Alcohol may, or may not have been a factor. Don't try this at home, kids.

I take the simulator out and deploy it as intended, throwing it well away from the crowd, only to discover that my Uncle's sheepdog had suddenly decided to become a retreiver. He makes a mad dash for the simulator, and picks it up in his mouth just as it starts whistling.

He then took off running with us yelling and after the flash/boom, he was both yelling and running. So I have to take off after him, pistol in hand and be prepared to deal with the consequences.

My uncle's son, who was six, asked why I was chasing his blasted dog with a pistol in my hand, and my brother told him that I was going after the dog to put him down, since he was going to be too injured to save. Yes, my bro had been drinking, a little. And yes, the kid started wailing. Merry Christmas, little guy.

When we found the dog under my uncle's porch next door, I expected to see half his head missing.

When we finally convinced him to come out, he was still smoldering and the smell of burning sheepdog was thick in the air.

Turns out that he had dropped it at the last minute and overrun it. Outr primary survey revealed that the simulator must have gone off under him, burning all of the hair off his belly (and there is plenty on an unblasted sheepdog) and giving him a nice sunburn down underneath. No frag, no lacerations, but he had a very bare and pink belly for a sheepdog.

Happy ending for all, but for some reason, every time anyone got out any fireworks after that the dog ran away and hid for a couple of days.

That's my story and I am sticking with it.

TR

[Gypsy]

Great AAR, TR!

[kachingchingpow]

You don't use #8 bird shot to hunt ducks. 3 or 3.5" mags 2's or 4's would've blistered that dog out to 50 yards.

[JMI]

Great story, TR. Gotta love happy endings.

"Merry Christmas, little guy." LMAO.