Destitute Hedge Fund Managers to get Stimulus

[Badger52]

Well, I'm sure glad Pelosi got that squared away.

Babylon Bee is all over the breaking news.

U.S.—Hedge fund managers nearly bankrupted by Redditors are desperately trying to fight back, but it's not looking good as the internet populist uprising continues.

Rich Wall Street investors getting squeezed by the GameStop buying frenzy are taking solace in the fact, though, that they'll get a $600 stimulus check

"I think it's a lot of money, sure, we would have liked to get more, but $600 is significant," said Nancy Pelosi in a press conference Thursday. "I'm happy we were able to accomplish at least that much for them. We would have gotten more, but Trump blocked it."

Pelosi was then reminded that Trump is no longer the president, but she just said she'd "circle back" to that later.

The $600 stimulus is expected to help the destitute hedge fund managers make a small portion of one of their yacht payments or maybe help them get started on a down payment on the latest Bentley. The managers are saying the $600 is not enough and that they need at least another $2,000 to survive. The government may compromise and give them an additional $1,400 to make up a total of $2,000.

[Gypsy]

Whew!