What will you make sure and teach your son

[craigepo]

I am doing some research, and wanted to pick some of your brains. These questions pertain to what you ensure that your son knows before you turn him loose on the world (and turn the world loose on him)

1) What skill/custom/manner/whatever do you want to impress upon your son before he leaves the nest?

2) What lessons have you learned the hard way that you want to prepare your son for?

Thanks a bunch for the time and thought.

[Trapper John]

Rudyard Kipling has the best advice, IMO. I still try to live by it and urge my son to strive for this too.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

[Dusty]

"There's no stopping a man who knows he's right and keeps on coming."

[Old Dog New Trick]

Originally Posted by craigepo

I am doing some research, and wanted to pick some of your brains. These questions pertain to what you ensure that your son knows before you turn him loose on the world (and turn the world loose on him)

1) What skill/custom/manner/whatever do you want to impress upon your son before he leaves the nest?

2) What lessons have you learned the hard way that you want to prepare your son for?

Thanks a bunch for the time and thought.

I will have to get back to this one.

My wife and I are raising a single boy late in our lives. He's six now, I'm 50 and wife is still 39 (+3).

Let them play until they are at least six, school and education will come soon enough, watch what they watch (media) and watch your language, they pick up on everything you hoped they wouldn't.

Mine's had an iPad since he was about three and we helped him learn on it before that, he knows more about it than I do. It's not a lie, if you get a new TV and can't figure out the remote just give it to the kid...

Keep apps age appropriate and use parental controls like a SERE instructor, I have failed miserably and my kid thinks Zombie Gunship and Modern Combat 3 are child's play.

If I succeed, he'll know self-discipline, self-worth, the value of money and life, and how to achieve his desires without causing others to judge him. And if they do, the strength, courage, and knowledge to stand up for himself.

Good luck, it's a work in progress...

ETA: I hope to show him all that I've learned in my life, from all my experiences good and bad, right and wrong. If I succeed at that, he'll be just fine!

[twistedsquid]

Independence and self determination....

[The Reaper]

"A Message for Garcia" and if you are right, never, ever quit.

TR

[GratefulCitizen]

1) Remember that you answer to a Higher Power.
2) Provided that the potential consequences are bearable, fail early and often. You'll learn from experience.

Would also have him consider the words of Solomon:

Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them;
While the sun, or the light, or the moon, or the stars, be not darkened, nor the clouds return after the rain:
In the day when the keepers of the house shall tremble, and the strong men shall bow themselves, and the grinders cease because they are few, and those that look out of the windows be darkened,
And the doors shall be shut in the streets, when the sound of the grinding is low, and he shall rise up at the voice of the bird, and all the daughters of musick shall be brought low;
Also when they shall be afraid of that which is high, and fears shall be in the way, and the almond tree shall flourish, and the grasshopper shall be a burden, and desire shall fail: because man goeth to his long home, and the mourners go about the streets:
Or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken, or the pitcher be broken at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the cistern.
Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.
Vanity of vanities, saith the preacher; all is vanity.
And moreover, because the preacher was wise, he still taught the people knowledge; yea, he gave good heed, and sought out, and set in order many proverbs.
The preacher sought to find out acceptable words: and that which was written was upright, even words of truth.
The words of the wise are as goads, and as nails fastened by the masters of assemblies, which are given from one shepherd.
And further, by these, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh.
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.
For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.

[mugwump]

Never, ever, ask a woman when she's due unless you can see a little head crowning between her legs.

[Barbarian]

1) What skill/custom/manner/whatever do you want to impress upon your son before he leaves the nest?

2) What lessons have you learned the hard way that you want to prepare your son for?

Thanks a bunch for the time and thought.

As a member of the latest generation to come to maturation, I would offer:

1: Always give of yourself, to those in need.

2: Most only live for the present and are self-interested. In a world of deceit and hardship, it is important to stand for something better. Lead by example rather than words, and be a beacon of generosity and humility.

[tunanut]

Do not wait too long to begin, you'll find that you're out of time before you know it. My boy is about to turn 15 and my teaching his about over. I'll do my best to provide good direction and remind him that the decisions he makes now will have an effect on the rest of his life. As well as you may prepare them, using what they've been taught is completely up to them.

[Max_Tab]

My son was talking about some video game (I think it was rainbow six) and he said he wanted to get a bullet proof shield for his character. I immediately looked at him and said "shields breed cowardice". Then we had a discussion about what that means.

[craigepo]

Originally Posted by Trapper John

Rudyard Kipling has the best advice, IMO. I still try to live by it and urge my son to strive for this too.

I had not read Kipling in a long time. That is a classic

[kgoerz]

Originally Posted by Old Dog New Trick

I will have to get back to this one.

My wife and I are raising a single boy late in our lives. He's six now, I'm 50 and wife is still 39 (+3).

Let them play until they are at least six, school and education will come soon enough, watch what they watch (media) and watch your language, they pick up on everything you hoped they wouldn't.

Mine's had an iPad since he was about three and we helped him learn on it before that, he knows more about it than I do. It's not a lie, if you get a new TV and can't figure out the remote just give it to the kid...

Keep apps age appropriate and use parental controls like a SERE instructor, I have failed miserably and my kid thinks Zombie Gunship and Modern Combat 3 are child's play.

If I succeed, he'll know self-discipline, self-worth, the value of money and life, and how to achieve his desires without causing others to judge him. And if they do, the strength, courage, and knowledge to stand up for himself.

Good luck, it's a work in progress...

ETA: I hope to show him all that I've learned in my life, from all my experiences good and bad, right and wrong. If I succeed at that, he'll be just fine!

same here, 47 with a 3 year old. See so many parents throw their kids in some kind of pre school. I think they get more out of playing and discovering things then learning numbers and letters. Mine can operate the IPAD and surf the ROKU. Until he got in my watch list and was watching Human Centipede....

[Snaquebite]

Some say you can't teach a person integrity, that may be true later in life, but it is definately a learned trait.

“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters”
― Albert Einstein

[SPEC4]

From the day they are born, they are watching you. Nothing you teach them will speak louder than your actions. Walk the walk, they will follow.