I think I'll apply for a grant to study the Sexual behavior of combat veterans, to see if they differ from the mating habits of the albino hippopotamus, do you think I'll get it?
I'll follow that with a grant to measure how far our political leaders have their heads up their asses and measure the lack of oxygen going to their brains due to the methane gas they are inhaling and compare that to the amount of BS they exhale while speaking.

I'm guessing the result will be 100% or better on the exhale portion.