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Old 09-28-2010, 10:39   #1
orion5
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Talking New 'Do Not Kill' Registry
New 'Do Not Kill' Registry To Allow Americans To Opt Out Of Being Murdered
SEPTEMBER 27, 2010


WASHINGTON—A bipartisan coalition of U.S. Congress members announced Tuesday the creation of the nationwide "Do Not Kill" Registry, which gives citizens the convenience of choosing whether or not they would like to be violently murdered.

"Obviously, we understand there are many Americans who would rather not be disturbed at dinnertime by an ax-wielding maniac, and that's why we are providing this service," said Sen. Mike Enzi (R-WY), who explained the law would also regulate the practice of random robokilling. "All citizens will have to do is supply us with their names and telephone numbers and we will make sure to block any further bothersome visits from killers smashing down their doors and ruthlessly murdering them in front of their screaming families."

While the new program is proving to be popular, critics have pointed out that more than 2,000 of the people who have signed up for the registry have been stabbed to death in their driveways simply because they didn't realize it takes 30 days to go into effect.

theonion.com


*Please be sure to also view the poll: 1 in 5 Americans Believe Obama is a Cactus
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Old 09-28-2010, 15:34   #2
The Reaper
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You gotta love the Onion.

TR
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Old 09-29-2010, 15:35   #3
echoes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by orion5 View Post
New 'Do Not Kill' Registry To Allow Americans To Opt Out Of Being Murdered
SEPTEMBER 27, 2010

While the new program is proving to be popular, critics have pointed out that more than 2,000 of the people who have signed up for the registry have been stabbed to death in their driveways simply because they didn't realize it takes 30 days to go into effect.

*Please be sure to also view the poll: 1 in 5 Americans Believe Obama is a Cactus
Hahahaha....ha!

Great find Orion!!!

Rock-on!

Holly
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Old 09-29-2010, 15:57   #4
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I was just sent this link...Too Funny!
http://lumq.com/10/mexican-army-special-forces/

The Blogs are hilarious.
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Old 09-29-2010, 17:07   #5
greenberetTFS
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They have more guys than we have and better equipped!......... We better not screw with Mexico!......... Their guys look tougher and meaner than our guys......

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Old 09-30-2010, 17:17   #6
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You gotta love the Onion.

TR
Yes...you do!

Good one, orion5.
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Old 09-30-2010, 17:35   #7
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Good Stuff
Almost as good as those Fox " Gun Free Zone" clips a few years back.
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