09-19-2010, 22:56
|
#1
|
|
Guest
|
No Sex since 1955
Got an email today from an old friend, too funny....
NO SEX SINCE 1955
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major and asked, 'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very Serious man, is something bothering you?'
'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action?''
''Yes,ma'am, a lot of action.' The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?' '
'1955,' he replied.
'Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need To chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955, really?" She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest And Said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.'
The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; it's only 2130 now.'
|
|
|
|
|
09-19-2010, 23:10
|
#2
|
|
Guerrilla
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Poulsbo, WA
Posts: 144
|
That is a long time. 
__________________
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin
|
|
drymartini66 is offline
|
|
|
09-19-2010, 23:48
|
#3
|
|
Area Commander
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cochise Co., AZ
Posts: 6,207
|
__________________
"Hector Lives!"
"The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress." -- Frederick Douglass
"The bigger the government, the smaller the citizen." -- Dennis Prager
"The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it." --H.L. Mencken
|
|
PSM is offline
|
|
|
09-20-2010, 01:43
|
#4
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Castle Rock, CO
Posts: 2,531
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by PSM
|
Wet Dog is a FOG and probably off his meds... 
We should cut the brother a break
__________________
""A man must know his destiny. if he does not recognize it, then he is lost. By this I mean, once, twice, or at the very most, three times, fate will reach out and tap a man on the shoulder. if he has the imagination, he will turn around and fate will point out to him what fork in the road he should take, if he has the guts, he will take it.""- GEN George S. Patton
|
|
lksteve is offline
|
|
|
09-20-2010, 03:12
|
#5
|
|
BANNED USER
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,751
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by lksteve
Wet Dog is a FOG and probably off his meds...
We should cut the brother a break |
It's been five Looooong years. This joke deserved retelling. I just don't understand why he wasn't a crusty old Team Sergeant.
|
|
Dozer523 is offline
|
|
|
09-20-2010, 04:24
|
#6
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: 18 yrs upstate NY, 30 yrs South Florida, 20 yrs Conch Republic, now chasing G-Kids in NOVA & UK
Posts: 11,901
|
__________________
Go raibh tú leathuair ar Neamh sula mbeadh a fhios ag an diabhal go bhfuil tú marbh
"May you be a half hour in heaven before the devil knows you’re dead"
|
|
JJ_BPK is offline
|
|
|
09-20-2010, 04:42
|
#7
|
|
BANNED USER
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,751
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by JJ_BPK
|
If we did, the joke couldn't have anything to do with sex.
|
|
Dozer523 is offline
|
|
|
09-20-2010, 05:26
|
#8
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: NorCal
Posts: 15,370
|
Quote:
A crusty old Team Sergeant found himself at a gala event, hosted by a
local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young,
idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Team Sergeant for conversation.
http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/...955#post106635
|
Been around the block a couple of times...
Richard 
__________________
“Sometimes the Bible in the hand of one man is worse than a whisky bottle in the hand of (another)… There are just some kind of men who – who’re so busy worrying about the next world they’ve never learned to live in this one, and you can look down the street and see the results.” - To Kill A Mockingbird (Atticus Finch)
“Almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.” - Robert Heinlein
|
|
Richard is offline
|
|
|
09-20-2010, 06:06
|
#9
|
|
BANNED USER
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,751
|
how 'bout . . .
A freshly minted Team Leader found himself at a gala event, hosted by a
local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young,
idealistic . . .
Oh wait, when we get to the punch line it sort of gets lost when
. . . The TL said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; Mickey's big hand is on the 6 and his little hand is near the 9 now.'
Last edited by Dozer523; 09-20-2010 at 07:26.
|
|
Dozer523 is offline
|
|
|
09-20-2010, 09:01
|
#10
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Ft. Bragg
Posts: 2,951
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dozer523
how 'bout . . .
. . . The TL said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; TOP?...What does it mean when...Mickey's big hand is on the 6 and his little hand is near the 9 now.'
|
Fixed!
__________________
"Somebody should put that quote on a T-shirt:
Muslim phrase: "Aloha Snackbar!"
English translation: "Draw, Mother-F*cker!""
-TOMAHAWK9521
|
|
1stindoor is offline
|
|
|
09-20-2010, 11:12
|
#11
|
|
Quiet Professional (RIP)
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Carriere,Ms.
Posts: 6,922
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by wet dog
Got an email today from an old friend, too funny....
NO SEX SINCE 1955
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major and asked, 'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very Serious man, is something bothering you?'
'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action?''
''Yes,ma'am, a lot of action.' The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?' '
'1955,' he replied.
'Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need To chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955, really?" She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest And Said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.'
The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; it's only 2130 now.'
|
wet dog,
Couldn't have been a Sergeant Major,that rank wasn't established until 1957....  
Big Teddy
__________________
I believe that SF is a 'calling' - not too different from the calling missionaries I know received. I knew instantly that it was for me, and that I would do all I could to achieve it. Most others I know in SF experienced something similar. If, as you say, you HAVE searched and read, and you do not KNOW if this is the path for you --- it is not....
Zonie Diver
SF is a calling and it requires commitment and dedication that the uninitiated will never understand......
Jack Moroney
SFA M-2527, Chapter XXXVII
|
|
greenberetTFS is offline
|
|
|
09-20-2010, 15:19
|
#12
|
|
Guerrilla
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Poulsbo, WA
Posts: 144
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenberetTFS
wet dog,
Couldn't have been a Sergeant Major,that rank wasn't established until 1957....
Big Teddy |
So no sex since 1957? I think it could still work.
__________________
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin
Last edited by drymartini66; 09-20-2010 at 15:41.
|
|
drymartini66 is offline
|
|
|
09-20-2010, 15:25
|
#13
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Georgetown, SC
Posts: 4,204
|
In a similar vein:
A college sociology professor is conducting a survey in his large Intro to Sociology class in regard to "frequency of sexual activity" amongst his students.
He asks how many have sex more than 3 times a week, and many hands go up.
He asks how many have sex twice a week, and even more hands go up.
He asks how many have sex once a week, and quite a few hands go up.
He asks how many have sex 2-3 times a month, and a few hands go up.
He asks how many have sex once a month, and a couple hands go up.
He asks how many have sex only once a year... and ONE hand goes up in the rear of the classroom. The young man with his hand up is giggling madly.
The professor says, "Young man, IF I had sex only ONCE a year, I don't think I'd be laughing!"
The young man replies, "Yeah, but tonight's the night!"
__________________
"I took a different route from most and came into Special Forces..." - Col. Nick Rowe
|
|
ZonieDiver is offline
|
|
|
09-20-2010, 18:53
|
#14
|
|
Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Black Hills of SD
Posts: 5,945
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenberetTFS
wet dog,
Couldn't have been a Sergeant Major,that rank wasn't established until 1957....
Big Teddy |
His watch was slow.
Have you EVER known a SGM to be on time ????
Jeeeezzzzzzzzz
__________________
Non Sibi Sed Suis
_____________________________________________
It's Good To Be Da King !!!! Just ask NDD !!!!
|
|
Sdiver is offline
|
|
|
09-20-2010, 20:22
|
#15
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: NorCal
Posts: 15,370
|
Quote:
|
Couldn't have been a Sergeant Major, that rank wasn't established until 1957.
|
The earliest mention of the sergeant major rank in the fledgling United States Army was soon after assuming command of the Continental Army in 1775, General George Washington and his staff standardized the table of organization for the infantry regiment, patterning it after the British Army. They included the position of sergeant major to each regiment or battalion headquarters, along with a noncommissioned officer element.
<snip>
In an attempt to reduce costs in June 1920, Congress eliminated the position of sergeant major by grouping enlisted members into seven pay grades (E-1 through E7). The senior noncommissioned officer in an organization for the next thirty-eight years was the senior master sergeant.
<snip>
...the Military Pay Bill of 1958, which recommended establishing two new enlisted pay grades E-8 and E-9, the "supergrades." In April 1959, the first NCOs were promoted into the newly created rank.
The History of the Sergeant Major
SGM Daniel K. Elder
The United States Army Museum Of The Noncommissioned Officer @ http://www.ncohistory.com/files/SGMhistory.pdf
Richard
__________________
“Sometimes the Bible in the hand of one man is worse than a whisky bottle in the hand of (another)… There are just some kind of men who – who’re so busy worrying about the next world they’ve never learned to live in this one, and you can look down the street and see the results.” - To Kill A Mockingbird (Atticus Finch)
“Almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.” - Robert Heinlein
|
|
Richard is offline
|
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:44.
|
|
|
Linear Mode
