I know everyone has a johnny joke or two...
Johnny is teaching Timmy how to cuss when Mommy calls them to breakfast. Mommy asks Timmy, "what do you want for breakfast?" Timmy replies, "Gimme some f*king pancakes!" Mommy slaps Timmy so hard he falls off the chair with a fat lip and a bloody nose. "I don't ever want to hear you use that kind of language again, young man!" Then she turns to Johnny and says, "...and what do YOU want for breakfast?" Johnny says, "I certainly don't want any f*cking pancakes."
The teacher tells the class, "today, we're not having show-and-tell, we're going to do something different today. I'm going to take something from my desk, put it behind my back, I'll give you a clue and you tell me what it is." With that, she takes takes the apple from her desk, puts it behind her back and says, "ok, it's hard and it's round." Johnny jumps up and says, "ooh, ooh, it's an orange!" The teacher says, "no, it's an apple, but I like the way you think." Johnny is pissed and puts his hand in his pocket and says, "Guess what I have in MY hand, it's hard, it's round and it's got a head on it!" The teacher says, "Go to the office right now, you're suspended!" Johnny says, "no, it's a quarter, but I like the way you think!"
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