10-23-2006, 07:53
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#1
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Red State
Posts: 3,774
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New Drugs for Women
DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "
BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.
__________________
Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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BMT (RIP) is offline
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10-23-2006, 08:57
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#2
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: RDU
Posts: 110
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Quote:
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resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
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Should I be feeling bad now because I happen to really like both? 
Altho.. the rest of the meds have piqued my interest... I'm calling Tricare 
__________________
"By way of deception, thou shalt do war."
Israel's Mossad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CPL Mick Bekowsky, USMC, 6 Sep 2004, Fallujah --- Never Forgotten
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Mav is offline
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10-23-2006, 10:40
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#3
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Pacific North Wet
Posts: 402
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by BMT
ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
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Hmm, I wonder if this works in other locations than elevators...
LL
__________________
Only librarians like to search, everyone else likes to find. Roy Tenant
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LibraryLady is offline
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10-23-2006, 15:49
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#4
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland
Posts: 24,816
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by LibraryLady
Hmm, I wonder if this works in other locations than elevators...
LL
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Have you not seen the dust jackets used for that?
TR
__________________
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - President Theodore Roosevelt, 1910
De Oppresso Liber 01/20/2025
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The Reaper is offline
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10-23-2006, 16:19
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#5
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Consigliere
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland (at last)
Posts: 8,834
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Where is FS?
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Roguish Lawyer is offline
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10-23-2006, 17:13
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#6
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Area Commander
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: MD
Posts: 1,012
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by BMT
NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.
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I need some of this before I go on travel again...
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lrd is offline
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10-23-2006, 18:09
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#7
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Pacific North Wet
Posts: 402
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by The Reaper
Have you not seen the dust jackets used for that?
TR
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Seen some weird life stories written on dust jackets...
LL
__________________
Only librarians like to search, everyone else likes to find. Roy Tenant
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LibraryLady is offline
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10-23-2006, 18:21
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#8
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland
Posts: 24,816
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by LibraryLady
Seen some weird life stories written on dust jackets...
LL |
No, these are jackets to slip on your books to get people to leave you alone and let you read.
$7.00 each or so, with titles like "How to Kill a Complete Stranger and Get Away With It". 
TR
__________________
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - President Theodore Roosevelt, 1910
De Oppresso Liber 01/20/2025
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The Reaper is offline
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10-23-2006, 18:33
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#9
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Pacific North Wet
Posts: 402
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by The Reaper
No, these are jackets to slip on your books to get people to leave you alone and let you read.
$7.00 each or so, with titles like "How to Kill a Complete Stranger and Get Away With It".
TR |
My, my, my. Yes, well. I'm more used to seeing covers hiding the romance novels...
Can see what I'm gonna get me... 
LL
__________________
Only librarians like to search, everyone else likes to find. Roy Tenant
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LibraryLady is offline
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10-23-2006, 21:00
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#10
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland
Posts: 24,816
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by LibraryLady
My, my, my. Yes, well. I'm more used to seeing covers hiding the romance novels...
Can see what I'm gonna get me...
LL |
Knock yourself out. Looks like they have one just for romance novel readers. 
TR
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,220326,00.html
How to Overcome Nymphomania
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Michelle and Brian Watters are hoping you will judge their books by their covers … but maybe that's because the covers are all they're selling.
Say you're stuck on a plane next to a chatty neighbor, and you want nothing more than to be left alone. Thanks to the Watters, you can just open up your hardback copy of "How to Murder a Complete Stranger … and Get Away With It" and odds are you'll get your wish.
The Ottawa couple is selling individual self-help book jackets sporting comical titles — and they're hoping readers with an active funny bone will help themselves, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation reports.
Among their eccentric offerings are "How to Overcome Nymphomania" (sure to get you some dates), "Do-It Yourself Vasectomy" (for the medical enthusiast with an independent streak) and "The Nutritional Benefits of Nose-Picking" (a must-read for any aspiring culinary artist) — to name a few.
"These are great if your mother wants the latest Danielle Steele for Christmas. You put 'How to Make Your Mother a Porn Star' on the cover [of the actual Danielle Steele book]," said Helen Aikenhead, owner of Ottawa bookstore Three Wild Women. "And when she opens it up on Christmas morning, she doesn't know what your intentions are."
And if your mom would be less than impressed, Michelle Watters suggests using the titles to … um … clear the air, so to speak.
"If you want to sit by yourself, and you don't want anyone bothering you, "Perfecting the Art of Fart Projection" will guarantee you a solo seat," she said.
The jackets are currently being sold in bookstores and boutiques in about a dozen countries for around $6.
__________________
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - President Theodore Roosevelt, 1910
De Oppresso Liber 01/20/2025
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The Reaper is offline
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10-23-2006, 21:12
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#11
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Area Commander
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Midwest
Posts: 7,134
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I think I might have to pick out one or two of these!
~chuckles~ The cream puff wedding dress story was...interesting.
__________________
My Heroes wear camouflage.
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Gypsy is offline
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10-23-2006, 21:36
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#12
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Pacific North Wet
Posts: 402
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by The Reaper
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LOL You actually read an article with THAT title? giggle
I NEVER hide what I'm reading! It's too much fun to see how folks look at you. This is especially fun to read in public!
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gypsy
~chuckles~ The cream puff wedding dress story was...interesting.
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Hmm... Next time you're out here just might have to take you to a really cool bakery. (NSFW link)
LL
__________________
Only librarians like to search, everyone else likes to find. Roy Tenant
Last edited by LibraryLady; 10-23-2006 at 21:39.
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LibraryLady is offline
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