10-16-2006, 19:12
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#1
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: LA
Posts: 1,653
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LEOs
I pick on lawyers a lot, so I figured I'd spread the wealth a little.
A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
"Nice bike," the cop said. "Did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."
The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you've got there, sir. Did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.
The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top!"
__________________
Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon and he made his web gear. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home.
He knows only The Cause.
Still want to quit?
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NousDefionsDoc is offline
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10-16-2006, 20:16
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#2
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Area Commander
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Delaware
Posts: 1,425
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__________________
You ask; What is our policy? I will say; “It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy.” You ask; What is our aim? I can answer with one word: Victory—victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival.-Winston Churchill
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Goggles Pizano is offline
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10-16-2006, 20:38
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#3
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Guerrilla Chief
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 704
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That traffic cop may have saved that girls life...yet you mock him. 
Last edited by Five-O; 10-17-2006 at 10:18.
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Five-O is offline
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10-17-2006, 05:01
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#4
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: South Georiga
Posts: 797
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When is someone going to find a new cop joke?
Jim
__________________
Breaking a law or violation of a regulation is not a mistake. It is willful misconduct.
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen." [Samuel Adams]
Jim
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incommin is offline
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10-17-2006, 08:34
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#5
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland
Posts: 24,827
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by incommin
When is someone going to find a new cop joke?
Jim
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Too dangerous, some of the guys seem to have thin skins, and guns and badges to boot.
TR
__________________
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - President Theodore Roosevelt, 1910
De Oppresso Liber 01/20/2025
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The Reaper is offline
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10-17-2006, 11:41
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#6
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Consigliere
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland (at last)
Posts: 8,841
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by incommin
When is someone going to find a new cop joke?
Jim
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When they stop inventing new donuts.
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Roguish Lawyer is offline
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10-17-2006, 11:46
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#7
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 1,691
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by The Reaper
Too dangerous, some of the guys seem to have thin skins, and guns and badges to boot.
TR |
Not all of us Sir. 
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Roguish Lawyer
When they stop inventing new donuts.
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Oh come on Land Shark is that all you got!!! 
__________________
"This is the law: The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental." - John Steinbeck, "The Law"
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Smokin Joe is offline
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10-17-2006, 12:34
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#8
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: South Georiga
Posts: 797
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TR,
With all the verbal abuse cops take on many days, I don't think too many have thin skins......
Jim
__________________
Breaking a law or violation of a regulation is not a mistake. It is willful misconduct.
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen." [Samuel Adams]
Jim
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incommin is offline
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10-17-2006, 12:40
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#9
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: In transit somewhere
Posts: 4,044
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Joe-
In your response to TR, what is it exactly you're missing - badges? guns? boots? or thin skins?
Gotta give you a point for the Land Shark comment, we have to get RL to use the shark I got him as an avatar now.
__________________
In the business of war, there is no invariable stategic advantage (shih) which can be relied upon at all times.
Sun-Tzu, "The Art of Warfare"
Hearing, I forget. Seeing, I remember. Writing (doing), I understand. Chinese Proverb
Too many people are looking for a magic bullet. As always, shot placement is the key. ~TR
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x SF med is offline
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10-17-2006, 13:38
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#10
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Suburban Philadelphia, Pa. / MGRS 18SVK 11 05
Posts: 122
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This might spare you a ticket....
Satisfaction guaranteed of your donut-back.
__________________
"Think thou that these magnificent, victorious Legionnaires became what they are through some arbitrary stroke of fortune? Nay! They do not sit around congratulating themselves in the wake of each victory. They spend every moment refining and improving their craft. Without apology, they pursue excellence. Each one knows and understands that he alone stands between the empire and oblivion. Watch them! Indeed, they appear to have been born with weapons in their hands!"
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Endorphin Rush is offline
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10-17-2006, 14:00
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#11
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: In transit somewhere
Posts: 4,044
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Endorphin Rush
This might spare you a ticket....
Satisfaction guaranteed of your donut-back.
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ER-
Tthat's just wrong, even for a LEO. We all know you guys only like the fresh, edible donuts and the mirror hanger would just piss you off, like teasing a bear.
__________________
In the business of war, there is no invariable stategic advantage (shih) which can be relied upon at all times.
Sun-Tzu, "The Art of Warfare"
Hearing, I forget. Seeing, I remember. Writing (doing), I understand. Chinese Proverb
Too many people are looking for a magic bullet. As always, shot placement is the key. ~TR
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x SF med is offline
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10-17-2006, 14:23
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#12
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Area Commander
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Delaware
Posts: 1,425
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by x_sf_med
ER-
Tthat's just wrong, even for a LEO. We all know you guys only like the fresh, edible donuts and the mirror hanger would just piss you off, like teasing a bear.
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Don't forget the dunkin donuts coffee-a genuine crowd pleaser (considering the subject matter)!
__________________
You ask; What is our policy? I will say; “It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy.” You ask; What is our aim? I can answer with one word: Victory—victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival.-Winston Churchill
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Goggles Pizano is offline
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10-17-2006, 14:30
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#13
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 1,691
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by x_sf_med
Joe-
In your response to TR, what is it exactly you're missing - badges? guns? boots? or thin skins?
Gotta give you a point for the Land Shark comment, we have to get RL to use the shark I got him as an avatar now.
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Thin skin Doc.
__________________
"This is the law: The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental." - John Steinbeck, "The Law"
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Smokin Joe is offline
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10-17-2006, 14:35
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#14
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Guerrilla Chief
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 704
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All you FOG's are fixated on old school cops and donuts. The new breed swills Starbucks and chow down on mulitgrain bagels get with the program...but somehow many are still way fat. 
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Five-O is offline
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10-17-2006, 22:50
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#15
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Suburban Philadelphia, Pa. / MGRS 18SVK 11 05
Posts: 122
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x_sf_med,
Wouldn't piss me off...but I just might ask you to exit your vehicle so that I could search your pic-a-nic basket.
__________________
"Think thou that these magnificent, victorious Legionnaires became what they are through some arbitrary stroke of fortune? Nay! They do not sit around congratulating themselves in the wake of each victory. They spend every moment refining and improving their craft. Without apology, they pursue excellence. Each one knows and understands that he alone stands between the empire and oblivion. Watch them! Indeed, they appear to have been born with weapons in their hands!"
Last edited by Endorphin Rush; 10-17-2006 at 23:11.
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Endorphin Rush is offline
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