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Originally Posted by eine_frau
I went to the OEZ last night to check up on friends who live on top of the mall. Some people there insist they saw another shooter. So we spent most of the night discussing how witness reports differ, how crowds react. (FWIW I think the official narrative is quite plausible.)
It was weird to be there. And all described being on an emotional roller coaster.
The "what would I have done" question was asked a lot. That makes me feel grateful that people here are taking the time to share their wisdom.Thank you to all of you.
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Let me put my Peer Support hat on for this part. It is not uncommon for people who are this close to these situations to suffer from anxiety, fear and worst case scenario PTSD. Most people that you are close to that were on site or near by just need to talk about it to get it out and help them get through the side effects. The best thing that you can do is what is called active listening. Let them talk and make sure that your body language is open to them and for the most part just listen. Open body language is sitting face to face if it is just one person or turning to face each speaker in a group, leaning towards them slightly in your chair and letting them direct where the conversation goes. You may be asked for answers, but any answers you give them will not be their answer so we generally let them find their own answer and believe me most people will find their answer and have total buy in upon its discovery. This, I found out in later life, is the reason why my mom and dad always told me God gave me two ears and one mouth so I could listen twice as much as I speak.
If they are still suffering noticeable effects weeks and months afterwards you may want to mention professional help and get a feel for how they are inclined towards that. In my experience a good clinician can be worth their weight in platinum at this point. If you notice any signs of PTSD don't be afraid of all the bad things that you have heard about it, particularly with the incidents that we have had here in Baton Rogue and Dallas. There is a therapy called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) that has been around since the 90s. I recently attended some training where the clinician that provided the class has dedicated the majority of her practice to first responders, fire fighters, LEOs and both active duty and retired veterans. I was very impressed by the work that she has done and it has moved me to create a class for national implementation within CBP that utilizes EMDR to assist employees transition from active duty with CBP to retirement as we have a staggering amount of employees that die within the first 2 years of retirement. That says a lot about seeing the success that she has seen using this technique and in most cases it involves no more than a couple of sessions. You can Google #suckitptsd for more information on this and Tania's practice.
We will be keeping you and yours in our thoughts and prayers and if there is anything that I can do from this side of the pond never hesitate to reach out.