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Part IV
Common Issues for Families in SF
The total number of times an SF soldier is away from home in one year may be the same or even less than the number of times he would be away from home in a conventional combat arms unit. However, most SF families report that the length of time the soldier is away at one time is an issue with which they must contend. The SF soldier may be gone for several weeks or months at a time when he is deployed for training, missions, or away at schools. Time away tends to be greater for soldiers who are on an SFODA than for soldiers with other assignments.
Most deployments are planned well in advance, and families are given the soldier’s location and address. However, there are rare times when the soldier deploys unexpectedly or is not able to disclose his exact location. The family may be unable to call him directly during these situations. The unpredictability of such deployments can cause stress for the family because they are unable to plan for his absence, and they are sometimes unable to plan on his exact return date. The time the soldier is away can be particularly stressful for families with children. The wife typically must assume all the home responsibilities when her husband is away, including child care, household finances, and household upkeep. Keeping the children’s relationship with their father secure and ongoing is another challenge when the father is away for long periods.
The transition time when the soldier is leaving and returning from deployments can also be stressful and emotional for both husband and wife. Many wives settle into new routines when the husband is away and must then readjust these routines when he returns. On the other hand, some husbands and wives report a positive outcome when the husband returns from deployments because they experience a repeated honeymoon period.
Some wives report that they’ve had to adjust to the realization that their husbands truly love their jobs and are committed to their team and its missions. Some wives find it disconcerting that their husband spends so much time with his team, even when the team is not deployed. On the other hand, many wives spend a great deal of time socializing with the other wives on the team, so that the team’s closeness is a positive factor for everyone in the family.
Common family stresses in SF are the—
_ Length of time the soldier is away.
_ Number of times the soldier is away, especially when he is on an SFODA.
_ Loneliness due to separations.
_ Difficulties of communication, due to soldier’s schedule.
_ Difficulties maintaining relationships between father and young children.
_ Transition times of leaving and returning and disruptions of routines.
_ Inability to plan family vacations or activities when unscheduled deployments arise.
_ Difficulties of maintaining household finances.
Family Support Mechanisms
SF have been in the forefront of the Army with respect to support for families. They were one of the first to develop family support groups that schedule get-togethers for wives and families, both when the husband is away and when he is in garrison.
The purpose of the family support group is to help families, especially wives, build support networks.
When the soldier begins the SFQC, the company will introduce the wives to the family support group. The meetings, which are open to all, provide opportunities to discuss issues and share information. Each SF Group also has its own family support group. Plus, there are many other formal and informal sources of support for SF families. A family member in SF never needs to feel alone.
Sources of support for SF families include—
_ Family support groups.
_ Close, supportive relationships among team members and their wives (the team is often described as a “second family”).
_ “Chain of concern” rosters used to pass along information and assistance.
_ Chaplain’s office and family support centers on post.
_ Family information briefings before major deployments.
_ Phone “hot lines” that are used when soldiers are deployed unexpectedly to provide information about the soldier’s whereabouts and scheduled return.
Family Satisfaction in SF
Most wives report that they are proud of their husband and his work. Most also report satisfaction in knowing that their husband experiences a great deal of job satisfaction in SF, more than he would in any other job. The independence that most wives experience out of necessity is often seen as a plus. SF wives report becoming stronger and more self-sufficient. The SF community can also be a source of satisfaction for families, because they feel a true bond with other SF families.
Special Forces In-Service Recruiting Commander
U.S. Army John F. Kennedy Special Warfare Center and School
DSN 239-1818
Commercial (910) 432-1818
or
Special Forces Future Readiness Officer
U.S. Total Army Personnel Command
DSN 221-3178
Commercial (703) 325-3178
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