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Terry,
as a surgeon that has 'been under the gun' by family or friend of a patient, I always try to explain: I can only provide the tools for healing, the miracles are out of my hands.
There is no greater virtue than caring, which you displayed for your comrade...there is no greater loss than the one you felt at that time.
There is no second guessing your actions of the words of the surgeon when you landed. Clinical decisions are made and have to be lived with...read my byline ....the instant judgement...irrevocable actions, monumentous and dreadful all under the conditions of great stress......what is expected is the impossible but we try to deliver just that....unfortunately it doesn't always have a happy ending.
What you did is what I would expect, no less and nothing to be ashamed about in the hierarchy of command....you did what any fellow soldier would do.
ss
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'Revel in action, translate perceptions into instant judgements, and these into actions that are irrevocable, monumentous and dreadful - all this with lightning speed, in conditions of great stress and in an environment of high tension:what is expected of "us" is the impossible, yet we deliver just that.
(adapted from: Sherwin B. Nuland, MD, surgeon and author: The Wisdom of the Body, 1997 )
Education is the anti-ignorance we all need to better treat our patients. ss, 2008.
The blade is so sharp that the incision is perfect. They don't realize they've been cut until they're out of the fight: A Surgeon Warrior. I use a knife to defend life and to save it. ss (aka traumadoc)
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