Ah, Engineering jokes, now I know I'm home...
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A mathmatician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume.
The mathmatician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.
The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement.
The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball table.
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A start-up engineer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had, in a way you don't understand.
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How many civil engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to do it and one to steady the chandelier.
How many mechanical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, one to calculate the force required, one to design a tool with which to turn the bulb, one to design a comfortable - but functional - hand grip, and one to use all this equipment.
and finally, my favourite (because I did electrical engineering at uni) -
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They simply redefine darkness as the industry standard. *yeah*
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Now, just for FrontSight and all us girly types:
Female Engineers...
File their nails with a Leatherman.
Make jewelry out of wire, resistors, transistors, and chips.
Don't think of male engineers as dorks.
Refer to impotence as system failure.
Would rather discuss the strength of a bridge than the strength of their relationship.
Know why a Dickies purse is cool.
Think tools are romantic gifts.
Have thought about re-engineering a bra.
Have tried to make a bra out of duct tape.
Read Popular Mechanics instead of Cosmo for fashion tips.
Are the only ones smart enough to enter into a field that is 95% male.
Have used nail polish remover for more than just removing nail polish.
Know the value of hairspray's flammable properties.