[Spartan359]

Once upon a time on board the U.S.S. Kitty Hawk I was a lowly fireman (E-3) and was on sounding a security watch. A truly boring watch. About half way into my watch I recieved a call on my radio that there was a potable water pipe leaking in the VFA-27 berthing (a squadron). So I trot to the berthing to find this pipe spraying water everywhere. I looked for the valves to secure the water but alas couldn't find the damn things. Now I'm pissed off and soaked. The whole time the repair desk was asking the status of the leak and if he should call it away as a flood. I told him I could handle it. So I leave the berthing only to raid one of the local repair lockers for a soft patch kit. A soft patch consists of a piece of rubber material and marlin (string). All you do is place the piece of rubber over the crack/hole and then start wrapping the marlin around the rubber on the pipe. After ripping the locker apart for the kit I said to hell with it, grabbed some marlin and went back down to the berthing. After deciding to get wet again I pulled out a condom from my wallet and wraped it around the crack in the pipe and tied it off. Then proceeded to wrap the marlin firmly around the pipe. To my amazement it worked. To this day that condom is still wraped around that damn pipe. Did I mention it was a female berthing?