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I love when the stage performers on the left use phrases like "Effective Altruism"

It’s like companies like 'Toms' like to do with their products.
"Hey, for every pair you buy, we give one pair to the poor." They became become rich as fuck because people kept buying their overpriced environmentally friendly, low-fat sugar free vegan shoes. Then they turn right around and use the retail cost of the shoes they give away as a charitable tax write off to cover their bottom line.
Because they care.
They care about the children.
Because it ALWAYS about the children.
Especially the ones in China and Vietnam where the third-party contractors that make up most of their production base, manufactures those shoes.

What they really mean is that they will make an average pair of shoes that only cost a few bucks to make (because they are manufactured in Asian sweat shops) then they sell you a pair of those shoes for 100 times what it cost to make them and then they give away a free pair of low-quality canvass espadrilles to some folks in the third world. Then they make a YUGE marketing issue out of the fact that they give away a free pair for every pair purchased."[/I] Why? Because they love profits – and virtue signaling – and children. They just love the children – the beautiful, exploitable, profit boosting, mother fucking children.

There is no such thing in aMEriKa as altruism. Not anymore. Not in a long time. In fact, this illusion of "effective altruism" is just a fancy new-age way of saying "salesmanship" - or should I say "gender nonspecific salespersonship”
whatever

Anyway, let me illustrate how "effective altruism" works in the real world:

Once upon a time, there was a fellow named Navin R. Johnson. Now, Navin was a simple minded fellow -actually, he was just downright fucking stupid. He was idiot, he had no rhythm, and he was terribly naïve. He also had a nearly full head of grey hair which was a little unusual for an 18-year-old young man growing up on a farm but, whatever.

Navin was the adopted son of Mississippi sharecroppers. Good, god-fearing folks; folks that lived off the land and made the most of what they had. Folks that were humble enough to thank the good lord for everything they possessed. These people aren’t “altruistic” they are just ‘good people' that didn’t find the need to be quantified by fancy words. Good people that didn’t need to use empty double talk as a way of hiding the greed, avarice, and self-centered nature that plagued many of their neighbors.
There was something different about Navin though; there was a spark in his eye, a certain pep in his step that his family noticed when nobody else cared to see inside his heart. Navin was destined for something bigger. He was going to change things; he was going to “figure out how to benefit others as much as possible” and he was going to take action on that basis. Navin was going to seek his destiny; he was going to find a career “based on the amount of good that the career achieves, and complimentarily pledge to donate to charities to minimize social crises.”

He started small – earning his keep as a gas station attendant for fellow named Mr Hartounian but he quickly moved on to bigger and better things. It was during his time working as a weight guesser at a traveling amusement park and fairway carnival that he became aware of effective altruism. His job allowed him to interact with people and give away trinkets and collectibles under the guise of “guessing peoples weight” - not that he was very good at actually guessing weight, but guessing weight wasn’t really the purpose of the game. The purpose of the game was giving away free stuff to people and making them feel good about their victory, albeit for a small fee.

Navin would charge a small fee for guessing people’s weight. He normally guessed wrong, but it didn’t matter because the important thing is to benefit others as much as possible. Navin had a really good pitch and gave away a LOT of trinkets by using a simple approach that seemed to work on everyone but Mr Rube:

Navin R. Johnson: The most exciting game on the midway! Imagine the thrill of getting your weight guessed by a professional! You can blow up your cheeks, you can stick out your chest, but you're not going to fool the guesser. How 'bout you, sir? Step right up!

Carnival Rube: Hey honey, let's see how good this guy is. Now what do I win?

Navin R. Johnson: Ah, anything... in this general area, right in here. Anything, below the stereo, and on this side of the Bicentennial glasses. Anything between the ashtray, and the thimbles. Anything in this three inches. Right in here, this area, that includes the Chiclets, but not the erasers.

Carnival Rube: No sir! C'mon honey; he thought he had himself a rube.

Yes indeed – Navin was quite the pitchman – but he sucked at actually guessing weight. Early on, he didn’t even realize that his real job wasn’t really guessing weight. Since Navin has such a big heart (and because he was an ignorant naive dipshit) he mostly just worried that he was letting his boss down (Mr Frosty) by giving away so many trinkets and collectibles…

Navin R. Johnson: Boss, I’m just no good at this.

Frosty: Ah, c’mon Navin, you’re doing fine.

Navin R. Johnson: I've already given away eight pencils, two hoola dolls, and an ashtray, and I've only taken in fifteen dollars.

Frosty: Navin, you have taken in fifteen dollars and given away fifty cents worth of crap, which gives us a net profit of fourteen dollars and fifty cents.

Navin R. Johnson: Ah... It's a profit deal. Takes the pressure off. Get your weight guessed right here! Only a buck! Actual live weight guessing! Take a chance and win some crap!

There’s no arguing that Mavin wasn’t busy looking out for the welfare of others but his time at SJM Fiesta Shows sharpened his business acumen and prepared him for his big break – a big break that had came without him even realizing it. Navin’s big break came way back when he worked for Harry Hartounian. It just took some time for his luck to catch up with him. Thanks to ill-fitting eyeglasses and Navin’s skill with a soldering iron, Navin was to become a VERY wealth man. A man that would use his wealth to benefit others as much as possible. A man that would cultivate his career so he could figure out how to benefit others as much as possible. Navin positioned himself so that he could maximize his effective altruism.

He took on such tragic human conditions as cracked leather seats in a private airplane – how can a guy fly his friends to the Superbowl like a man when his leather seats are cracking?
…essential altruism

When there were families that hadn’t eaten in years, why did they go to Navin Johnson for charity?
…essential altruism

When something had to be done about Cat-Juggling, who was it that finally did something about it? NAVIN R. JOHNSON, THAT’S WHO and why Navin and not someone else?
…essential altruism

In the end though – when you step back and look at the life and times of someone who was so intertwined with “effective altruism” – you realize – all of that altruism was bullshit. He found his rhythm because he wanted acceptance. He left home because he wasn’t thankful for what he already had. He wanted to enrich himself. He wanted to “be somebody”
He never REALLY cared about others as much as he cared about “building his image”

He wanted his name in print. He wanted to be rich and famous. More importantly, he wanted everyone to acknowledge his richness and famousness. He didn’t care about the drink in his glass – as long as it had a little cocktail umbrella. He never even cared about the trinkets and collectibles when he worked at the carnival – he was just worried about making a profit.

Because THAT’S what effective altruism is really about.
The effective altruist just doesn’t have the common fucking decency to admit it and THAT is why the FTX ponzi scheme worked as well as it did for as long as it did:

Just like Navin giving money to the “families that hadn’t eaten in two years” – you just GOTTA give them some aid money because of “altruism”
…aka virtue signaling

Just like Navin paying for a fucking rich Texan to reupholster the leather seats in his private airplane, you just gotta spend the INVESTOR money paying for some bullshit to signal your virtue.

Just like Navin spending money to help end “Cat Juggling” – you gotta spend that FTX money on some contrived scheme – like COVID/anti-Vax/No Ivermectin messaging to show that you care…
…as a tad bit of irony, I noticed that the guy in the Cat Juggling video looked a LOT like Navin Johnson wearing a cheap mustache.

All the while, the ridiculous BULLSHIT ideas that are exploited to enrich one’s lifestyle often prove to be harmful to those that we claim to be helping. Even as we use our new found fame and fortune to rail on the waiter that we are far too fucking sophisticated to eat snails.

So, what is the end result of these galacticly insane financial shenanigans?

Lawsuits.
Lawsuits all around.
You get a lawsuit.
YOU get a lawsuit.
Everybody files a fucking lawsuit.

So, we all file a lawsuit – and what is the compensation once there is proof that the essential altruism has ASSFUCKED everybody that bought into this week’s latest bullshit idea?
One dollar.
Everybody got ONE fucking dollar.

One dollar…
…AND NINE CENTS !!

so in closing, FUCK YOU SBF – fuck you and fuck FTX right in your stupid asses.
…oh, and fuck Navin Johnson and his stupid ‘Opti-Grab’ idea as well.

Only an observation and in no way meant to suggest I am right