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Come with me on a metaphoric journey into a true understanding of this mythologic political superhero name Phil LeBuster......


Phil LeBuster is a french entrepreneur whose family immigrated to the USA centuries ago. His family owns a manufacturing company that produces the sports paraphernalia that is sold at sporting events around the country.

There is a misconception that most of his products are sold at the stadium on game day. The reality is, Phil LeBuster uses marketing to peddle his wares at as many different venues as possible...
It doesn't matter if a game goes into extra innings.
It doesn't matter if a game goes into overtime.
It doesn't matter if a game ends in sudden death.
Phil LeBuster doesn't care if the merchants have to work late because Phil LeBuster isn't playing the game and he doesn't contribute to a victory.

The fact is - Phil LeBuster isn't in the business of winning games. Phil LeBuster's sole profit motive is actually 'extending the tie game' for as long as possible. Phil LeBuster just delays the inevitable.
Phil LeBusters raison d'être is making money NOT from the victory of any given team but from the theater exhibited by each team.

It breaks down like this:
The Cincinnati Reds - a typical "red" team and the Chicago Cubs - a typical "blue" team show up on game-day ready to play 9 innings of baseball.

They are going to play 9 innings of ball on a field that was most likely funded by taxpayers. Those same taxpayers are in the stadium today; they are paying "trumped-up" prices for sodas, beer, hot-dogs, nachos, peanuts, and cracker jacks...
...not to mention the obligatory program so they can follow the action. They can read performance statistics about their favorite players and there is even a score sheet so they can follow today's game.

Of course, the "program" is full of paid advertisers. Some of these advertisers own steak houses that specialize in 200-dollar dinner-for-two dining experiences. Some of these advertisers sell cars that cost 80-90-100 thousand dollars even though the average income for every single residential neighborhood within 10 miles of the stadium is only 50-70 thousand dollars per year.

The advertisers don't matter though - this game is all about the fans - we know because that is what the players were saying in the pregame interviews. That's what the star pitcher said to me when he signed my baseball glove.
...I heard that the three kids that got trampled trying to get his signature are expected to make a full recovery.

The fans love the Star Pitcher. He is a fan favorite. He doesn't live near the stadium though. He has a house WAY on the other side of town in an exclusive gated community with electric gates and paid security. That doesn't matter though - we love coming to see him at the stadium. This stadium is awesome too - it was built using taxpayer-funded infrastructure improvements, tax-free municipal bonds, long-term local and state tax exemptions, and operating cost subsidies to keep the team from moving to another state. The fans don't really get to enjoy any of this "directly" but at least we have the players representing us.

The tickets are expensive, but it's worth it to watch our team come out and "play the game" for our entertainment. In fact, the "owners" just agreed to give all paying customers a bonus - 1400 credits for your next concession stand purchase.
After all - the fans paid for the stadium, we paid for our tickets, we paid the upcharge on the food and drinks being sold in the stadium (since we can't bring our own food inside the stadium) we paid for our tickets - and before we go home, we will have bought a hat, jersey, key chain, and bobblehead from the souvenir stand owned and operated by Phil LeBuster.

We never expected the game to go into extra innings - but it did - which was GREAT for Phil LeBuster and the other merchants. We bought a lot more stuff than we expected since we were in the stands for so much longer than we expected. It seemed like a real nail-biter at first but partway through the 17th inning, it dawned on me...

The star pitcher didn't have any zip on his fastball today - he came out right after the 7th inning stretch. In fact, he hasn't pitched a complete game in a few seasons and he has NEVER thrown a no-hitter.

The right fielder came up from the minors as an unknown - sure, he'll hit a booming solo home run every now and again that gets everyone's attention but he has yet to hit a game-winner and his RBI numbers are pretty low.

We picked up a speedster in a late-season trade last year, thinking he would steal some bases or turn some singles into extra-base hits, but since signing his contract, he just seems to sit on the bench. Occasionally he will pinch-run for our star pitcher after the pitch count gets too high.

The manager is a blowhard - we all love watching him mix it up with the umpires but it never changes the call. Our lineup still swings at bad pitches while getting called out on strikes. The bullpen sucks and when our star pitcher DOES manage to hold a lead going into the 9th inning, the bullpen almost always blows the lead.

The press conferences are always a fucking disaster. Our guys let the sportswriters treat them with utter disrespect and they just stand there and take it.

But here we are... 17th inning and it looks like our team is going to lose by one run.
Again
Huge disappointment that could have been avoided if the team had just given a little more effort when they first took the field at the beginning of last season. Well, even if our team loses - we may be sad and exhausted - but at least we got into the stadium - some people couldn't even get bleacher seats because of the federally mandated COVID mask edicts.

Forget for a moment that the REALLY good seats aren't even for sale to the general public.
Forget for a second that we had to pay for parking.
Forget for a second that we paid twice as much for a soda than we would have at the gas station.
Forget for a second that the Chinese are selling the same jerseys at half the price and even though the players are bitching about trademark infringement, they are still collecting royalties on ad revenue from deals that they made with the Chinese.

Worst of all - the 17 inning disappointment was just a regular-season game that doesn't really matter because our team is so far out of first place that we will be lucky just to get a wild card shot in the 2022 playoffs. Meanwhile, Phil LeBuster will keep dragging out the game every chance he gets with no resolution and the fans will keep coming to the stadium expecting victory but going home disappointed and exhausted...
...and the manager will keep giving press releases that shift blame from poor player performance and blame it on the other team being unreasonable or obstructive - sort of like cocaine Mitch saying "the next time" republicans get in charge, he's gonna change things by making a deal with Phil LeBuster

In closing, elected representatives are no different than pro athletes - they don't actually represent the fans they just entertain the fans - they are only interested in playing through their contract without getting released and when the price is right - they WILL switch teams if that's what it takes to stay in the game. The filibuster is just like extra innings - all it does is extend the inevitable


Go home sports fans - you've had too much to think.