Submitted for review and comment...
Historicizing Forms of Oppression: A Statistical Review of Cause and Effect Against the Backdrop of Nicholas Cage Films and the Correlation of Female Editors of the Harvard Law Review
Statistics in Western culture have been systematically hi-jacked by the privileged white patriarchy as a mathematically racist pattern of perpetual microaggressions used to forward and exploit the petro-capitalist agenda of the radical right. We must peer through the lens of oppression to understand the framework of intersectionality that drives this messaging.
As my vehicle in this undertaking, I will focus on a graphic cross-section of performance art on the part of Nicholas Cage. The hypocritical Hollywood elite collude to cover-up themes of intersectionality as they relate to race, class, religion, and the diaspora of gender identification as institutions like the Harvard Law review periodically exploit editors that identify as females as much for talent as for their value as a virtue-signaling dog-whistle to the uninitiated. I intend to demonstrate the correlation between Nicholas Cage movies and the Harvard Law Review. We will start this analysis with a brief qualitative review of the data since 2005.
Cage appeared in 2 motion pictures in 2005;
Lord of War and
The Weather Man. Both of which spotlight the generational inheritance of privilege. The exploitation and oppression of the female leads in both movies forced the Harvard Law Review to install an editor that identified as a female to provide context in case law as it related to the social subtext of Cage's film contributions.
In 2006, Cage released the dystopian classic, ‘
Ant Bully’ as a metaphoric snapshot of American imperialism and the unshakable urge to destroy and oppress entire cultures out of pure spite. This coupled with his other 2006 releases left Harvard with no choice but to install a second editor that identified as female.
The Harvard Law Review found themselves backed into a corner in 2007 and had no choice but to double the number of editors that identified as female as a response to movies like
Ghost Rider and
Grindhouse. Female roles in 2007 Nicholas Cage films demanded that pressing legal issues were reviewed through a feminine lens to soften the cultural damage caused by the violent misogyny of '
Grindhouse’
By 2008, the correlation of Nicholas Cage Films and Harvard Law Review Editors that Identify as a female was becoming impossible to ignore and the causality was nothing less than predictable.
Bangkok Dangerous was such a financial failure that Harvard was forced to cut funding to their “Female Editors on the Harvard Law Review” initiative by 50%. The program was almost cut to a single editor identifying as female but lobbyists blocked the cuts under an argument that the correlation was purely coincidental.
The experts knew better and the lobbyists went into hiding in 2009 when Cage clawed his way back into the spotlight with movies like
Knowing, G-Force, Astro Boy, and
Bad Lieutenant. When these movies drew over a half-billion dollars in box office profits, Harvard was once again positioned to double their female editor base for the second time in five years.
Statistics are awesome when you are woke enough to analyze and interpret the data.
Best of all - woke statistics don't require fact-checkers.....